Letting Go of the Old Me
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How do you feel people often ask me
I answer, fine thank you ... but that is not true
I do not feel fine but full of emotions ... they are part of me
some days it is messy and confusing
and I cannot even tell you what exactly is wrong
I would love to feel happy, smiling and laughing
but don't most of the time ... I am friendly to all I meet
and I wear my mask well
though outwardly I appear calm and at peace
there is a war raging inside of me
I am safe and secure, comfortable, have no worries
have lots of hobbies and activities and friends
I have no stress to handle ... friends tell me I am a good listener
when they feel bad and want to talk to me about it
I never judge or try to change them but just be there as a friend
have had love but lost it to death over and over and over
the anniversary of my sisters death is in a few days
and I feel down and moody but that will go away to return next year
I love my alone time as it is like breathing to me
suppose I am a loner and I like it that way
I carry my grief like a heavy dark cloak
and have lost myself ... where have I gone
and then, God sent our family a baby angel
a little baby girl who laughs and smiles all the time
and everything changed
I feel God's light shining on me and realize it is time to let go
of the old me ... time to seek out the new me ...
and use the gift of words he bestowed to light the world
____________________
January 23, 2023
Poetry/Free Verse/letting go of the old me
Copyright Protected, ID 01-1519-738-23
All Rights Reserved, 2023, Constance La France
Submitted to the Premiere contest, 2022 Poetry Marathon, Mile 25
sponsor, Mark Toney, Judged 01/28/2023
Copyright © Constance La France | Year Posted 2023
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