In Denial
When all else lays on eve’s mantle,
this heartbeat stirs, awakening unto a flicker
of midnight-- and I observe if the early jay
had returned from its chilled dwellings … Not
at this moment, not yet as thinning beams fade
while my heels race out; struck by gray of darkness.
Eventide bestows a time for pained outrage
when the discovery of loved ones’ sudden farewell
comes unforeseen, when ardent dreams
transform into hostility… and glimpses trace
a juggle of distant stars: my parents,
my three brothers’ delicate frames
perhaps roaming through a heap of wiry leaves
as if crushed riddled by
ingots on an embattled skyline ...dawn
quickens heading eastward,
until child-like hands fold in litanies of prayer
denying I had lost them entirely:
In the blue midnight, I wait, wait for their
return in full knell from jay's anthem--
knowing the crypt of mortality terrifies
this vulnerable abandoned being.
Am I now a real orphan, life’s distraught survivor?
Tell me, dear fate...
because even the gods do not answer.
..................
1/03/2019
Caren Krutsinger’s My Loudest Feelings Contest
~ In honor of my brother who passed away last year~
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