I'm Sorry Grams
I could sit here and tell you that I regret
driving my sister to her tragic suicide,
o, all the tears I would never have cried;
but one thing I could never forget,
is what I did to my grams before she died-
causing a fight in my family (because I lied)
an addict was I, even worse than before,
anything for a fix and grasping that chase-
longing for one more was my disgrace,
so, in desperation I went to grams’ drawer
and stole what wasn’t mine in the first place;
for I knew not dependency I needed to erase
grams’ arthritic hands swelled at night,
just one doctor trip made her joints ache-
thirteen years later, still my greatest mistake,
stealing from the greatest woman in sight;
sometimes recalling nightmares keep me awake,
I just still can’t believe, from her, I would take…
if only I could go back to that November day,
before poor decisions turned to transgressions;
this was a God taught lesson of selfish obsession,
and I’ve asked grams for forgiveness when I pray-
because of my she suffered a little depression,
and as I write this, I feel remorseful regression
what would be different if I had not betrayed
my grams when her body was in the worst pain?
I let her wither into dusk where secrets remain,
I never apologized, then her life began to fade-
I feel like I allowed my guiding spirit to die in vain,
I'm sorry grams...truly beautiful Lorraine
October 5, 2019
Sponsor: Silent One
If only we could turn back the hands of time Poetry Contest
Copyright © Lu Loo | Year Posted 2019