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I could sit here and tell you that I regret driving my sister to her tragic suicide, o, all the tears I would never have cried; but one thing I could never forget, is what I did to my grams before she died- causing a fight in my family (because I lied) an addict was I, even worse than before, anything for a fix and grasping that chase- longing for one more was my disgrace, so, in desperation I went to grams’ drawer and stole what wasn’t mine in the first place; for I knew not dependency I needed to erase grams’ arthritic hands swelled at night, just one doctor trip made her joints ache- thirteen years later, still my greatest mistake, stealing from the greatest woman in sight; sometimes recalling nightmares keep me awake, I just still can’t believe, from her, I would take… if only I could go back to that November day, before poor decisions turned to transgressions; this was a God taught lesson of selfish obsession, and I’ve asked grams for forgiveness when I pray- because of my she suffered a little depression, and as I write this, I feel remorseful regression what would be different if I had not betrayed my grams when her body was in the worst pain? I let her wither into dusk where secrets remain, I never apologized, then her life began to fade- I feel like I allowed my guiding spirit to die in vain, I'm sorry grams...truly beautiful Lorraine October 5, 2019 Sponsor: Silent One If only we could turn back the hands of time Poetry Contest
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