I'Ll Endure This Day

Writing the 'straight in the bin' poems today The over explain, this isn't a poem pain fest Obviously there's a shame fest too - I'm not a one trick pony I can't poetically access anything. Let's see if I can not write it down I can't articulate how I feel For that would make it real My wishes are all for alternate fate Where joy and love the natural state Not broken pieces of me shattered Reminders that I've never mattered Where I act and play the part Insides screaming with a broken heart I'd love to explain, but I've done that too Yesterday, I bore my soul's pain to you I can explain away why that was missed Continue, stay the same, persist But I've now said all the things outright And I see things now in the light It's harder than I thought it would be To stop, consider, then to see For I can't even write the word That explains how I felt, what I heard Summed up, equated, no... I can't speak I'll leave it in shadows, the haunt of oblique I need to find a place to rest a while My head and heart, thoughts compile I just need this shouldered for me please I'm broken, lost, down on my knees There's nowhere to turn again and again As I acquire more and more hurt and pain I don't want to be defined by this It's not who I am, all this time I miss I feel stamped on, held in place My intended self missing, left no trace Misery fest after misery fest give me a break I'll try sleep, can't bear awake I put myself right in harm's way I'm wiser at least, yes, wiser today