Tim Smith Poet Sonnet

If I Were Gone Tomorrow

Ice crystals form on a once dusty road
Taillights shining brightly amongst the smoke
The old tall oak bruised but still standing strong
A pickled blackened heart no longer broke

If I were gone tomorrow would she care
Remembering that I was always there
Standing by her side through thick and thin
My everlasting love would never disappear

That distant night she wouldn't believe
My heart was pounding loudly for her
Stabbing those stilettos deep into my heart 
Walking out, nevermore would my spirit stir

No amount of liquor could mask the pain
Finally, a dead heart will beat again



**Inspired by Nathan D's Junkie Heaven poem and a few late night texts from a friend drinking at a bar**

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Suburban Lovechild March 17, 2015 at 10:52 PM Quite the torrent of images...its diabolical sometimes to think how much impact, joy, damage etc that one person can have on another...great write...

Carolyn Devonshire March 3, 2015 at 5:58 PM Those "stabbing stilletos" can crush your spirit as well as cut out your heart, Tim. I'm glad this was not written from personal experience, but you obviously empathize with those who have been left in the kind of pain that only an untrue love can cause. Excellent writing that captivates the reader's attention! Love, Carolyn (always a seven for you)

Nette Onclaud March 2, 2015 at 2:47 PM how vulnerable can this be, tim; the memories in which are so often held onto..while life seeks a fresh start...just loved this piece... huggs Tim Smith March 2, 2015 at 2:50 PM Thanks nette...hugs Tim

Cherl Dunn March 2, 2015 at 2:10 PM Dear Tim, Brightly imagery, and I agree with Ravi, very creative poem my friend, cheri

Ravi Sathasivam March 2, 2015 at 5:27 AM Excellent. Very creative poem but sad. Tfs Tim Smith March 2, 2015 at 1:21 PM Thanks Ravi

Charmaine Chircop March 2, 2015 at 4:57 AM This definitely describes loss,unreciprocated love and pain.Liquor isnot a solution but another problem ..but of course when one feels helplessly lone and sad,killing himself and who he is wouldnt hurt(he thinks).Sometimes we have to touch the bottom to need to reach for the top again,but friends can make adifference even by just giving a hug or by being there.He is lucky to have you as a friend. Tim Smith March 2, 2015 at 1:21 PM Thank you Charmaine for that beautiful compliment... I am trying to do the best I can...I just scheduled a couple events that I am taking him with me...so he has no excuses not to come with.... Big hugs Tim xx

Njeri Hunjeri March 1, 2015 at 9:34 PM "Stabbing those stilettos deep into my heart" my fav line. #7 Tim Smith March 1, 2015 at 11:30 PM Thanks Njeri....hugs Tim

Debbie Guzzi March 1, 2015 at 6:38 PM When love is not returns it hurts so bad! Light & Love Tim Smith March 1, 2015 at 6:42 PM Thanks Debbie...he is having a hard time and missing his daughter too....hugs Tim

Sara Kendrick March 1, 2015 at 4:53 PM Creative use of the theme of the contest..Reads like a winner to me..Way to go for the contest.Thanks for the visit by my page..Yes, the stained water is from picking up soil,etc..in the rain run off..It usually colors our water more a reddish brown so it was an unusual color..Sara Tim Smith March 1, 2015 at 4:58 PM Thank you dear Sara....hugs Tim

David Meade March 1, 2015 at 4:22 PM Deep pain drives us to do harmful things to ourselves but good friends, like you, are always ready to encourage and build up . . . not easy my friend, I know you feel the pain also. . . Tim Smith March 1, 2015 at 4:58 PM Thanks David I surely do...just hope I can steer him in the right direction

Nathan D. March 1, 2015 at 3:57 PM First best of luck helping your friend. People with truly broken hearts are the hardest of all to help. I love the blending of light and dark. The reflective icicles vs the dust.taillights vs smoke.the strength of an oak vs a weak heart. The constant presence of one lover vs the other one leaving and ultimately if I interpret the ending right the only way to fight the constant darkness is to accept the pain and move on. Great write. Ty for the nod Tim Smith March 1, 2015 at 4:56 PM Thank you Nathan for the great comment and fav Nathan D. March 1, 2015 at 4:00 PM P.S. A fav

Laura Leiser March 1, 2015 at 2:08 PM Great poetry, this! A 7! Tim Smith March 1, 2015 at 3:20 PM Thanks Laura....hugs Tim

Emile Pinet March 1, 2015 at 12:33 PM This is a sensuous poem swirling with the heady notions of a man’s intoxication with love and the withdrawal suffered at its loss. Emile. Tim Smith March 1, 2015 at 12:40 PM Thank you my good friend..Have a blessed night.....Tim

Eileen Manassian March 1, 2015 at 12:04 PM Interesting sonnet, Tim. Stilettos can kill! ;) Lovely write...different...but creative. Tim Smith March 1, 2015 at 12:12 PM A friend was reaching out to me last night...His third night in a row closing a bar...It is difficult when I'm not close by...I am trying to steer him in the right direction. He agrees with what I have to offer but always seems to end up back drinking.

Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty March 1, 2015 at 11:50 AM o "A pickled blackened heart" a telltale heart Tim >love> rajat Tim Smith March 1, 2015 at 11:53 AM Thanks Rajat...I am worried about him...He is spending his nights drowning his sorrows.