Lim'Rik Flats Poet Limerick

If I Were An Elephant

If I were an elephant I’d shave off my trunk.
Shave off my trunk!  Who woulda thunk?
Cause a really long nose
reaching down to my toes
is an ostentatious piece of junk.

But wait, how the heck would I shower?
I’d need a huge hunk of hydraulic power.
to rinse the plaque
off my big back
and time-wise, it’d consume half an hour!

So I guess my trunk I’d keep.
So I could shower on the cheap
and pick up the soap
or salute the Pope
if he paraded by in his Jeep


*no contest

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Patricia Cresswell September 23, 2017 at 8:25 PM Grinning here! Great, great, great!

Ironic Zink January 6, 2017 at 5:36 PM I could use a little pope on a rope in my diet too...for cleansing of course...I have avoided this form of cleansing—I mean this form of poetry for much too long. Good stuff here; in comments and in the poem...peace inn...Ir0nic ZinK. Ironic Zink January 9, 2017 at 2:20 PM Is your real name Richard? Lim'Rik Flats January 9, 2017 at 7:47 AM THanks for stopping by I Z!

Old Buck December 13, 2016 at 1:40 PM John: I enjoyed the "mix" of characters in this work. I also enjoyed Doug's comment on "no Pope on a rope soap". I tried to imagine the recipe for such soap would need to include "a drop of lambs blood" to cleanse both inside and out. Keep these messages coming and thanks again for sharing them with all of us on the soup. oldbuck Lim'Rik Flats December 14, 2016 at 9:37 AM Yeah, I really liked the "Pope on a rope" thing too. I suppose a fella could eat a bar of soap and get a "total cleanse?" Uh oh, might be material for some more sillies there;-). Cheers amigo. Thanks again for wading through my closet! ~ j

Cheryl Hoffman December 11, 2016 at 7:34 PM This is a very clever and very funny one John that made me smile; well done! Lim'Rik Flats December 14, 2016 at 9:34 AM wOw, I am way behind. Thanks for visiting the sillies and I'm glad you gots a smiler! huggarootchies ~ j

Mike Hauser December 11, 2016 at 6:58 AM Hahaha! Nice! Lim'Rik Flats December 11, 2016 at 8:33 AM ;-) Hiya Mike, glad you got a chuckle.

Vera Duggan December 10, 2016 at 1:57 AM Gee mate, an Elephant with a trunk, just would not look right, love your sense of humour though, very good, take care......Vera Lim'Rik Flats December 11, 2016 at 8:33 AM Vera, thanks for stopping by!

Eve Roper December 10, 2016 at 12:03 AM Good idea keeping the trunk I hear they can carry a few gallons of water inside their trunk :-) the Pope might use the water to sprinkle you back with a blessing . Another good poem , John Lim'Rik Flats December 11, 2016 at 8:31 AM Bet they never lose at a water-balloon fight! huggpoos ~j

Doug Vinson December 9, 2016 at 12:42 AM : ) Fills me with love for my fellow man - well done indeed! I'd address the 800 lb. gorilla in the room, but then - it's a dang gorilla. The last time I was there, there was no pope soap on a rope for sale in the Sistine Chapel. Lim'Rik Flats December 9, 2016 at 10:35 AM :-):-):-)! Pope onna rope!!!! You sweep the gorilla right outta the room with your cheer amigo! Thanks for your contributions to the silly factor ~ john

Space Cadet December 8, 2016 at 8:43 PM This is so creative and unique. Perfect 7 and going to list this as a favorite poem. Thank you for sharing. -- Wesley C. Lim'Rik Flats December 9, 2016 at 10:32 AM Thanks Wesley. We be pleased!

Chris Green December 8, 2016 at 9:25 AM This was hilarious. pick up the soap and salute the pope. That was crazy...crazy good. Lim'Rik Flats December 9, 2016 at 10:28 AM Hi Chris! Glad you gotta chuckler!

Paloma P December 8, 2016 at 9:24 AM HA, elephants and the Pope in one setting, figures it'd be you! Flamboyantly fun read... Lim'Rik Flats December 9, 2016 at 10:27 AM juxtaposery en composery;-)

Alexis Y. December 8, 2016 at 9:14 AM Lol! John, this is funny. It made me laugh out loud. Your limericks have the tendency of making me to bust out laughing . Then I get strange looks from my kids. I enjoy your sense of humor:-) Alexis PS, Why not enter it into the contest? Lim'Rik Flats December 9, 2016 at 10:25 AM when you giggle away, it makes my day!

Jan Allison December 8, 2016 at 8:54 AM ha ha ha made me lol John:-) hugs Jan xx Lim'Rik Flats December 9, 2016 at 10:23 AM A gigglejan fits the plan! huggerbells ~ j

David Bose December 8, 2016 at 8:44 AM A nice little laugh--enjoyed it! Thanks, Dave Lim'Rik Flats December 9, 2016 at 10:21 AM Glad you did!