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if I were an elephant

If I were an elephant I’d shave off my trunk.
Shave off my trunk!  Who woulda thunk?
Cause a really long nose
reaching down to my toes
is an ostentatious piece of junk.

But wait, how the heck would I shower?
I’d need a huge hunk of hydraulic power.
to rinse the plaque
off my big back
and time-wise, it’d consume half an hour!

So I guess my trunk I’d keep.
So I could shower on the cheap
and pick up the soap
or salute the Pope
if he paraded by in his Jeep


*no contest

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 9/23/2017 8:25:00 PM
Grinning here! Great, great, great!
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Date: 1/6/2017 5:36:00 PM
I could use a little pope on a rope in my diet too...for cleansing of course...I have avoided this form of cleansing—I mean this form of poetry for much too long. Good stuff here; in comments and in the poem...peace inn...Ir0nic ZinK.
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Ironic Zink
Date: 1/9/2017 2:20:00 PM
Is your real name Richard?
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lim'rik flats
Date: 1/9/2017 7:47:00 AM
THanks for stopping by I Z!
Date: 12/13/2016 1:40:00 PM
John: I enjoyed the "mix" of characters in this work. I also enjoyed Doug's comment on "no Pope on a rope soap". I tried to imagine the recipe for such soap would need to include "a drop of lambs blood" to cleanse both inside and out. Keep these messages coming and thanks again for sharing them with all of us on the soup. oldbuck
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lim'rik flats
Date: 12/14/2016 9:37:00 AM
Yeah, I really liked the "Pope on a rope" thing too. I suppose a fella could eat a bar of soap and get a "total cleanse?" Uh oh, might be material for some more sillies there;-). Cheers amigo. Thanks again for wading through my closet! ~ j
Date: 12/11/2016 7:34:00 PM
This is a very clever and very funny one John that made me smile; well done!
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lim'rik flats
Date: 12/14/2016 9:34:00 AM
wOw, I am way behind. Thanks for visiting the sillies and I'm glad you gots a smiler! huggarootchies ~ j
Date: 12/11/2016 6:58:00 AM
Hahaha! Nice!
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lim'rik flats
Date: 12/11/2016 8:33:00 AM
;-) Hiya Mike, glad you got a chuckle.
Date: 12/10/2016 1:57:00 AM
Gee mate, an Elephant with a trunk, just would not look right, love your sense of humour though, very good, take care......Vera
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lim'rik flats
Date: 12/11/2016 8:33:00 AM
Vera, thanks for stopping by!
Date: 12/10/2016 12:03:00 AM
Good idea keeping the trunk I hear they can carry a few gallons of water inside their trunk :-) the Pope might use the water to sprinkle you back with a blessing . Another good poem , John
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lim'rik flats
Date: 12/11/2016 8:31:00 AM
Bet they never lose at a water-balloon fight! huggpoos ~j
Date: 12/9/2016 12:42:00 AM
: ) Fills me with love for my fellow man - well done indeed! I'd address the 800 lb. gorilla in the room, but then - it's a dang gorilla. The last time I was there, there was no pope soap on a rope for sale in the Sistine Chapel.
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lim'rik flats
Date: 12/9/2016 10:35:00 AM
:-):-):-)! Pope onna rope!!!! You sweep the gorilla right outta the room with your cheer amigo! Thanks for your contributions to the silly factor ~ john
Date: 12/8/2016 8:43:00 PM
This is so creative and unique. Perfect 7 and going to list this as a favorite poem. Thank you for sharing. -- Wesley C.
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lim'rik flats
Date: 12/9/2016 10:32:00 AM
Thanks Wesley. We be pleased!
Date: 12/8/2016 9:25:00 AM
This was hilarious. pick up the soap and salute the pope. That was crazy...crazy good.
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lim'rik flats
Date: 12/9/2016 10:28:00 AM
Hi Chris! Glad you gotta chuckler!
Date: 12/8/2016 9:24:00 AM
HA, elephants and the Pope in one setting, figures it'd be you! Flamboyantly fun read...
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lim'rik flats
Date: 12/9/2016 10:27:00 AM
juxtaposery en composery;-)
Date: 12/8/2016 9:14:00 AM
Lol! John, this is funny. It made me laugh out loud. Your limericks have the tendency of making me to bust out laughing . Then I get strange looks from my kids. I enjoy your sense of humor:-) Alexis PS, Why not enter it into the contest?
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lim'rik flats
Date: 12/9/2016 10:25:00 AM
when you giggle away, it makes my day!
Date: 12/8/2016 8:54:00 AM
ha ha ha made me lol John:-) hugs Jan xx
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lim'rik flats
Date: 12/9/2016 10:23:00 AM
A gigglejan fits the plan! huggerbells ~ j
Date: 12/8/2016 8:44:00 AM
A nice little laugh--enjoyed it! Thanks, Dave
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lim'rik flats
Date: 12/9/2016 10:21:00 AM
Glad you did!