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If I were a comedian

If I were a comedian in this life, Today would have been my worst nightmare, With nothing funny happening on my way to writing this. The pigeons left me with an unmarked suit, My bus was on time, And so was I, All the youths gave up their seats for us oldies, Leaving me nothing to bleat about. I didn't pass anyone acting weird in the street, And I never overheard anyone telling a story even remotely funny, Nobody made rude comments to or about me, Nor were they dressed in anyway to make one laugh or cry. There was no rain cloud with my name on it, I could not find anything to trip over. My wife and kids would disown me if I cracked a joke at their expense, Besides they are all going through stages that are nothing to joke about, Euthanasia is no longer a joke, And Covid jokes are no longer funny. Of course if I was a comedian in this life, I would have several choice words up my spout, To set the tone for the evening, Most of them unprintable, That would bring me before a magistrate, If uttered off stage, Funny that. The question is? Should I envy those who have found a way, To make money by saying them on stage, Instead of being fined for using them off stage. Of course I could be wrong, And it is all in the delivery, And I am never drunk enough to enjoy the spectacle, Or never brave to say boo! Maybe that is why I am not a comedian in this life.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2021




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Date: 10/22/2021 8:01:00 PM
A comedian takes talent for being weedy and I for one never was.
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David Smith
Date: 10/23/2021 4:07:00 AM
The material comedians use has certainly changed in recent years. I saw Spike Milligan live here in NZ years ago. He spent the first couple of minutes saying oh dear oh dear me in different ways which was quite original and was quite effective. I enjoyed writing this poem. We are well and hope you are too. Best regards David in NZ
Date: 10/16/2021 3:38:00 PM
Entertaining write. I like this a lot. Makes me think of Robin Williams and Bernie Mack two funny men who struggled.
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David Smith
Date: 10/17/2021 3:34:00 AM
Thanks Karen. I can be quite polite in between a few choice words and I know few who never swear but when every 2nd word is a swear word, to me that is not entertainment. I think it a shame that a few modern comedians and even actors don't use all their talents to the full and sell themselves short but hopefully audiences will will become more discerning. Anyway this poem hopefully throws light on the subject. Wasn't Robin Williams amazing and brave, I am sure Bernie Mack too but i know little of him. Our grandson (3 in February) is managing to find plenty to laugh at, which bodes great for his future. Hope you find time for a few laughs. Take care David in NZ