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I Wanted To

I wanted to... Vs 1 I saw you the other day... and you looked so frail It hit me hard to see you... so thin and so pale all my bitterness...just melted away Bridge 1 All my life you were so strong, a tough guy in every way, You tried to look after mom, making mistakes every day... You denied you had a son, you acted like you didn't care, Wishing I was never born, while I was still standing there. Chorus I wanted to...be loved...by you but...I could see...you didn't want to You rejected me...so...I rejected you Vs 2 You should have been a father... I could look up to Instead you loved the bottle... and all that it could do Why should I even bother... to get close to you? Bridge 2 Now I see, it's been too long, as, I see you waste away, Now I see I was so wrong, as you get weaker every day, Now, I understand that you... did everything that you could, 'cause your father rejected you too, and you felt like you were no good! Chorus I wanted to...be loved...by you but...I could see...you didn't want to You rejected me...so...I rejected you Vs 3 I grew up promising myself... I wouldn't be like him That, if ever I had a son... I'd know where to begin! There's one thing I know for sure,... he would know I loved him Bridge 3 Now I see I have one last chance, to forgive all that he's done Time's traveling so fast... and I know that I'm his son When will we ever learn, it's no good to live in the past? Chorus I wanted to...be loved...by you but...I could see...you didn't want to You rejected me...so...I rejected you John Derek Hamilton April 11,2018

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Sunlite Wanter

Date: 4/29/2018 9:52:00 AM

A true story for more people than you know. Well, well done!

John Hamilton
Date: 4/30/2018 9:10:00 AM

Thanks SW I'm glad you enjoyed and can relate to such a sad but common reality!

Alberta Loepppky

Date: 4/19/2018 11:30:00 PM

I know that little boy, love that little boy more now because he has grown into a wonderful loving and caring person despite the upbringing. My arms are still holding you close, you make my heart glad. Love you so much

John Hamilton
Date: 4/20/2018 10:24:00 AM

Thanks Mom, I know you understand, I don't hold any resentment any more, this was more my feelings from years ago, glad to be past all that. It's not good to live in the past, I know that now, so life is much easier!

Chuck Melugin

Date: 4/14/2018 5:12:00 AM

John...Your words ring sad as the hurt jumps off the page! You are taking your writing to a new level IMHO.

John Hamilton
Date: 4/14/2018 4:37:00 PM

Thanks Chuck, I always enjoy your visits and comments!

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 4/13/2018 8:30:00 AM

This is heart breaking, sadly I can relate to most of it.

John Hamilton
Date: 4/13/2018 9:23:00 AM

I know Rick, it's a hard thing for a boy to not have the love of his father, it's what all little boys deserve, sorry for bringing back sad memories but is was cathartic to me, thanks for the nice visit!

Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 4/12/2018 8:50:00 PM

(2) I think of the sweet little boy I was, and the same of my sibs, and how ANY man could not let such little ones creep into his heart, and it is hard to grasp. I am NOT the perfect father and have made many mistakes in that department, but my kids ALWAYS felt loved and secure, and they all have the biggest hearts, and I like to think I had something to do with that - that I chose to end the pattern.

John Hamilton
Date: 4/13/2018 9:26:00 AM

Yeah we were both good little boys, searching desperately for a fathers love and approval, it's what kids deserve at a minimum from a father, I would like to think that I too would have broken the cycle.

Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 4/12/2018 8:50:00 PM

(3) I have forgiven to a point, but I can not completely let go of the resentment and loss and pain ... maybe someday. This is SUPERB, my friend ... a gorgeous and melancholy love song. Adore it!

John Hamilton
Date: 4/13/2018 9:19:00 AM

Thanks Greg, letting go of resentment is the hardest part, but it's in everyone's best interest!!

Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 4/12/2018 8:49:00 PM

(1) Really got to me, John, as you and I have such similar emotions on this level - I remember thinking when we first "met" that we had an unusual connection, and it makes more sense all the time as to WHY. Our fathers were never given the tools to be loving people, and for that I feel very sorry, but I have trouble when it comes to balancing that against the amazingly gifted and intelligent man my dad was, and that - if he had consciously CHOSEN to do so - he could have changed that pattern.

John Hamilton
Date: 4/13/2018 9:18:00 AM

I know, it's sad all around.

Line Gauthier

Date: 4/11/2018 3:24:00 PM

John, Wow - what a beautiful poem of forgiveness and spiritual growth. Awesome, a FAVE for me.

John Hamilton
Date: 4/12/2018 9:13:00 AM

Thanks Line, glad you liked this song, it is difficult but forgiveness is necessary, thanks esp for the fave!

Jan Allison

Date: 4/11/2018 2:26:00 PM

such heartbreaking lyrics John and some parts of it I can relate t in my own life, lets just say three years on and neither me or my mum have grieved for my dad... you pen a great lyric John:-) hugs jan xx

John Hamilton
Date: 4/11/2018 2:33:00 PM

Thanks Jan, it's sad because it's real life, but there's a time for forgiveness, before it's not too late.