John Hamilton Poet Lyric

I Wanted To

I wanted to...

Vs 1
I saw you the other day...
and you looked so frail
It hit me hard to see you...
so thin and so pale
all my bitterness...just melted away


Bridge 1
All my life you were so strong,
a tough guy in every way,
You tried to look after mom,
making mistakes every day...
You denied you had a son,
you acted like you didn't care,
Wishing I was never born,
while I was still standing there.

Chorus
I wanted to...be loved...by you
but...I could see...you didn't want to
You rejected me...so...I rejected you

Vs 2
You should have been a father...
I could look up to
Instead you loved the bottle...
and all that it could do
Why should I even bother...
to get close to you?

Bridge 2
Now I see, it's been too long,
as, I see you waste away,
Now I see I was so wrong,
as you get weaker every day,
Now, I understand that you...
did everything that you could,
'cause your father rejected you too,
and you felt  like you were no good!

Chorus
I wanted to...be loved...by you
but...I could see...you didn't want to
You rejected me...so...I rejected you


Vs 3
I grew up promising myself...
I wouldn't be like him
That, if ever I had a son...
I'd know where to begin!
There's one thing I know for sure,...
he would know I loved him


Bridge 3
Now I see I have one last chance,
to forgive all that he's done
Time's traveling so fast...
and I know that I'm his son
When will we ever learn, 
it's no good to live in the past?

Chorus
I wanted to...be loved...by you
but...I could see...you didn't want to
You rejected me...so...I rejected you

John Derek Hamilton
April 11,2018

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Sunlite Wanter April 29, 2018 at 9:52 AM A true story for more people than you know. Well, well done! John Hamilton April 30, 2018 at 9:10 AM Thanks SW I'm glad you enjoyed and can relate to such a sad but common reality!

Alberta Loepppky April 19, 2018 at 11:30 PM I know that little boy, love that little boy more now because he has grown into a wonderful loving and caring person despite the upbringing. My arms are still holding you close, you make my heart glad. Love you so much John Hamilton April 20, 2018 at 10:24 AM Thanks Mom, I know you understand, I don't hold any resentment any more, this was more my feelings from years ago, glad to be past all that. It's not good to live in the past, I know that now, so life is much easier!

Chuck Melugin April 14, 2018 at 5:12 AM John...Your words ring sad as the hurt jumps off the page! You are taking your writing to a new level IMHO. John Hamilton April 14, 2018 at 4:37 PM Thanks Chuck, I always enjoy your visits and comments!

Richard Lamoureux April 13, 2018 at 8:30 AM This is heart breaking, sadly I can relate to most of it. John Hamilton April 13, 2018 at 9:23 AM I know Rick, it's a hard thing for a boy to not have the love of his father, it's what all little boys deserve, sorry for bringing back sad memories but is was cathartic to me, thanks for the nice visit!

Gregory Richard Barden April 12, 2018 at 8:50 PM (3) I have forgiven to a point, but I can not completely let go of the resentment and loss and pain ... maybe someday. This is SUPERB, my friend ... a gorgeous and melancholy love song. Adore it! John Hamilton April 13, 2018 at 9:19 AM Thanks Greg, letting go of resentment is the hardest part, but it's in everyone's best interest!!

Gregory Richard Barden April 12, 2018 at 8:50 PM (2) I think of the sweet little boy I was, and the same of my sibs, and how ANY man could not let such little ones creep into his heart, and it is hard to grasp. I am NOT the perfect father and have made many mistakes in that department, but my kids ALWAYS felt loved and secure, and they all have the biggest hearts, and I like to think I had something to do with that - that I chose to end the pattern. John Hamilton April 13, 2018 at 9:26 AM Yeah we were both good little boys, searching desperately for a fathers love and approval, it's what kids deserve at a minimum from a father, I would like to think that I too would have broken the cycle.

Gregory Richard Barden April 12, 2018 at 8:49 PM (1) Really got to me, John, as you and I have such similar emotions on this level - I remember thinking when we first "met" that we had an unusual connection, and it makes more sense all the time as to WHY. Our fathers were never given the tools to be loving people, and for that I feel very sorry, but I have trouble when it comes to balancing that against the amazingly gifted and intelligent man my dad was, and that - if he had consciously CHOSEN to do so - he could have changed that pattern. John Hamilton April 13, 2018 at 9:18 AM I know, it's sad all around.

Line Gauthier April 11, 2018 at 3:24 PM John, Wow - what a beautiful poem of forgiveness and spiritual growth. Awesome, a FAVE for me. John Hamilton April 12, 2018 at 9:13 AM Thanks Line, glad you liked this song, it is difficult but forgiveness is necessary, thanks esp for the fave!

Jan Allison April 11, 2018 at 2:26 PM such heartbreaking lyrics John and some parts of it I can relate t in my own life, lets just say three years on and neither me or my mum have grieved for my dad... you pen a great lyric John:-) hugs jan xx John Hamilton April 11, 2018 at 2:33 PM Thanks Jan, it's sad because it's real life, but there's a time for forgiveness, before it's not too late.