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I couldn't talk about it so I wrote a poem

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I am writing about this, sharing this with people other than close family, for the first time. I'm nervous about how it will be received and the judgements that may arise. But, it's what was laid on my heart to write about when I considered the prompt. Deeply personal but many years in the past, I feel its time. If your uncomfortable or feel awkward commenting, that's OK! I'll understand. I wrote this for myself and to challenge myself to be vulnerable in my writing.
(I couldn't talk about it so I wrote a poem) Predator Heartbreak comes in many ways. The first one will haunt me for all my days. My every nightmare and dream has your face to ignite my screams, my heart beat haste. Time won't heal this shattered trust, the lies you told of the future “us”. You used your power and prominence, used the pulpit as your lance. You claim God's voice was your own, “His” words from your lips like honeycomb. Sweet to the ear, a seductive flow, still just a child, I didn't know. Just like a sick soap opera or Lifetime movie, you set your sights, began to groom me. I feel so foolish and naive looking back … at seventeen, innocent, easy to attack. Like the lame and young ones trailing the herd, predators take the straying,easy kill first. How patient you were, lying in wait. You took careful steps as if I might escape. Sneaking up on me in plain sight until your touch, familiar, I didn't fight. Spinning this elaborate fantasy, our destiny. Ordained by God, you made me believe. Then you struck, like the viper you were, after years of a patient petting, persistent purr. A velvet vice, an auspicious anchor, held me captive in false love’s languor. Then the poisonous venom began its work, you used me in ways that only hurt. I was a willing, if deceived, participant… so in love, no evil intent. Then some wisdom from above, in the form of family and out of love. The truth so evident with blinders off, some won't believe me, will only scoff. Five years of his amorous attentions, with promises of forever never failing to mention. The patina of youth and vicious game of prey, his sick desires for me, began to fade. You found a limping, more vulnerable gazelle, and knowing this my family tells. Although I find it hard to trust, my faith in God is deeper and thus, He's used this pain to help me find peace and truth, leaving the past behind. For my faith is no longer in any man, and gratefully, never will be again. Justice on this earth is not guaranteed… but from his wicked spell I am freed!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 2/20/2025 7:10:00 AM
Rereading some of my favorites today Crystol. This deeply personal poem really impacted me. So nice that you found escape and happiness
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Tom Woody
Date: 2/21/2025 9:42:00 AM
:)
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Crystol Woods
Date: 2/21/2025 6:55:00 AM
What a compliment, one I'll not forget. You are quite the gentleman Tom Woody, and a light that reflects the love of God. Thank you for this. Xo
Date: 7/23/2024 12:52:00 PM
Crystol Congrats on your win! Most importantly for confronting the truth and writing about it!! That is the best way to help yourself to heal from this painful experience! but there are many who have to endure similar situations but keep it locked and suffer in their minds. I applaud you and admire you for your courage! My very best wishes to you!
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Crystol Woods
Date: 7/23/2024 5:25:00 PM
Oh tysm Krish... how kind of you to say. Xoxo
Date: 7/22/2024 12:35:00 PM
Back with congratulations on your win, Crystol! Enjoy your day ~xhugs
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Crystol Woods
Date: 7/22/2024 4:49:00 PM
Ty! I'm so pleased. Xo
Date: 7/22/2024 11:37:00 AM
I am sorry that you had to go through this, and I hope you can find the strength to talk to your family about it... I really hate it when predators get away with these things... You expressed it with a lot of emotions... Congratulations on your placement in the contest..
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Crystol Woods
Date: 7/22/2024 4:52:00 PM
Thank you for your kind words, it means so much to me and I'm so happy that writing this has freed so much pent up emotion. It's cathartic! Xoxo
Date: 7/12/2024 5:57:00 PM
Ms. Woods. When I read this poem, I could only imagine your ordeal. I'm sorry for your terrible experience. After the rain, there is always a rainbow. Your past gives you a stronger voice. I loved the imagery. It evokes a profound sense of compassion for the writer. I will enjoy reading your other poems.
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Crystol Woods
Date: 7/12/2024 6:49:00 PM
That's so kind, I appreciate the compassion and compliments! It was long ago, and while it will never not be apart of who I am now, I've been able to forgive and move on. Sometimes that's a daily choice rather than a one time pays for all but I'm stronger for it. Ty for recognizing that! Xo
Date: 6/27/2024 10:08:00 PM
Love/trust: essential elements to faith, faithfulness, forever. Sounds like a traumatic breakdown by a manipulating neer-do-well. Tough piece.... leads to redemptive self-assurance. Peace.
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Crystol Woods
Date: 6/28/2024 3:32:00 AM
Thank you for commenting... Yes, essential. I trust God, it is others I struggle with but I'm growing more everyday, healing and trusting a loyal few. Thanks again! Xo
Date: 6/27/2024 9:07:00 PM
I am deeply moved by your account of the abuse you had suffered, Crystol, at the hands of a groomer.
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Crystol Woods
Date: 6/28/2024 3:37:00 AM
Sometimes I forget about other countries laws and customs, and how that affects it's people. Different strokes for different folks! Age played a part of the hurt done to me but honestly, I was so sheltered I'd have reacted and felt the same at 25. I so appreciate your in depth comment and good wishes. Xoxo
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Suzette Richards
Date: 6/27/2024 9:08:00 PM
Then we have the annual Reed Dance in the neighbouring state of Ezwatini (formerly Swaziland), where nubile maidens dance half naked in front of the king; for him to choose his next additions to his harem. Culture norms do not take the feelings or the later impact these practices have on the victims, into account. This has been somewhat of a tourist attraction in the past.
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Suzette Richards
Date: 6/27/2024 9:08:00 PM
At least you had family who had supported you. I trust this had made you stronger and the fact that you can talk about it, is a sign that you don’t subscribe to a victim mentality. Keeps well, Suzette
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Suzette Richards
Date: 6/27/2024 9:07:00 PM
I live in a country where the lawmakers thought it wise to reduce the age of consent from 16 to 14, otherwise a large part of the population would spend long stretches behind bars. This is not only condoned, but seems to be encouraged as a pregnant 14 year old is seen by a certain sector of society as a sign of fertility and, therefore, valued as potential marriage material.
Date: 6/27/2024 5:02:00 PM
Crystol all my sympathy's, an epic and emotional write, almost in perfect rhyme for a free verse, no matter what form, you have a melodious flow to your biting words. This is good, "The patina of youth and vicious game of prey, his sick desires for me, began to fade." this says a lot, charismatic monsters are a dime a dozen. Don't allow cynicism to win the day or they win! From personal experience. Virtual xhugs my lady!
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Crystol Woods
Date: 6/27/2024 5:50:00 PM
Thank you for that... and I'm sorry for whatever your experience was/is. I hope you're ok now. Yes your 100%right about that!! Bitterness, cynicism, hatred... all emotions and feelings that can only hurt us but not touch their cold hearts. Tysm<3
Date: 6/27/2024 12:18:00 PM
Oh my goodness this is your best write to date and so deeply personal. After reading Charlotte's latest I feel gobsmacked to say the least. It does not surprise me at all that you were seduced by a so-called man of God. Charlatans abound in Christendom. In any case, you're a survivor too and we're happy to provide support and comfort. A fave for me
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Crystol Woods
Date: 6/27/2024 1:47:00 PM
Wow...I don't know what I expected, I guess more of what I got from the so called church family... in any case, thank you for not proving me right. He was youth director and then became our Pastor when I was age 11. It's hard to say how much influence and authority someone like that has over you. Anyway... thank you Tom! Xoxo

Book: Reflection on the Important Things