I Accidently Let One Loose

I accidently let one loose,
As easily as grease passes thru a goose,
That moment I sincerely regret,
But there was no stopping it.

The large lady in the next pew,
Jumped up and shouted, “OH GOD!, PHEW”!
The congregation still will say,
The Holy Spirit grabbed her that day.

She was gagging and retching and flopping on the floor,
All the while the pastor prayed, “More!, More!, More!
That hellish cloud soon covered the church,
And all at once they began to lurch.

Praying to God for some salvation,
Running and shouting strange lamentations,
Wringing their hands in extreme regret,
For awful sins they hadn’t committed yet. 

I was laughing and busting a gut,
For what accidently jumped out of my butt,
The cloud finally lifted and they began to behave,
On that famous Sunday the whole church was saved.

All because that day during the mass,
I accidently let loose that Holy gas,
They say God works in strange ways,
It was certainly true that fateful day.

May The Gas Be With You Farts Part 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Chantelle Anne Cooke
10/7/21
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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Devonshire Avatar
December 15, 2018 at 2:01 PM
Now this one is truly hilarious! What a gem you have here, Timothy. Keep the accolades but pass the gas on down the line. Congratulations on your win in Nina's contest. Sending wishes for happy holidays, Carolyn
Mcguire Avatar
December 15, 2018 at 5:41 PM
That is funny Carolyn, thanks!
Gauthier Avatar
December 15, 2018 at 10:38 AM
Wow - holy gas! Congrats on your win, Timothy.
Mcguire Avatar
December 15, 2018 at 5:42 PM
Thank you Line!
Elam Avatar
December 15, 2018 at 10:27 AM
Timothy that's hilarious. Congrats!
Allison Avatar
December 15, 2018 at 9:29 AM
so glad to see this one make the list Timothy!:-) hugs Jan xx
Cunningham Avatar
July 26, 2018 at 4:54 AM
This is an absolute hoot Timothy. Great verse. Tom
Mcguire Avatar
July 27, 2018 at 2:45 AM
Thanks Tom!
Wolf Avatar
July 7, 2018 at 11:01 PM
Delightful write, Timothy! Hilarious, with a nice message to boot … Reminds me a bit of a similar scenario in either Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn --- just can't remember which at the moment. ~ Gershon
Mcguire Avatar
July 9, 2018 at 5:12 PM
I am glad you enjoyed it. Thanks!
Man Avatar
July 7, 2018 at 8:21 AM
Timothy, your write is hilarious!!
Mcguire Avatar
July 9, 2018 at 5:12 PM
Thanks Lyric Man!
Gauthier Avatar
July 7, 2018 at 7:49 AM
All saved by holy gas, it's a miracle! Very well penned, Timothy.
Mcguire Avatar
July 9, 2018 at 5:12 PM
Thank you Miss Line!
Waters Avatar
July 7, 2018 at 1:20 AM
love it - well done and good luck - b e hard to top this one.
Mcguire Avatar
July 9, 2018 at 5:13 PM
Thank You Virginia!
Allison Avatar
July 7, 2018 at 1:05 AM
ha ha ha love a good farty poem and this is a fabulous tale, good luck in the contest:-) hugs Jan xx
Mcguire Avatar
July 9, 2018 at 5:13 PM
Thanks Jan!
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