Explanation: NO ex has ever been maimed or offed~~I PROMISE! I'm just abiding by a prompt that encouraged me to vent.
This is a parody of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "How Do I Love Thee."
Placed 1st, John Lawless contest, June 25, 2023
How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways. I loathe thee so that I throw up on sight Of thee, and when my ire is at a height, I grit my teeth and plot revenge for days. My loathing for thee, cheater, takes its toll. Thy empty claims of innocence, I scorn. I caught thee thrice! My trust was from me torn. To see thee broke and hungry is my goal. I loathe thee with the passion I once spent On sweet romance when I thought thee sublime. I’d like to see thee living in a tent. Indulge me as I tell thee one more time I'd gladly pony up my last red cent To have thee maimed if mugging weren’t a crime!
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