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How Do I Loathe Thee, Cheater

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Explanation: NO ex has ever been maimed or offed~~I PROMISE!
I'm just abiding by a prompt that encouraged me to vent.

This is a parody of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "How Do I Love Thee."

Placed 1st, John Lawless contest, June 25, 2023

How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways. I loathe thee so that I throw up on sight Of thee, and when my ire is at a height, I grit my teeth and plot revenge for days. My loathing for thee, cheater, takes its toll. Thy empty claims of innocence, I scorn. I caught thee thrice! My trust was from me torn. To see thee broke and hungry is my goal. I loathe thee with the passion I once spent On sweet romance when I thought thee sublime. I’d like to see thee living in a tent. Indulge me as I tell thee one more time I'd gladly pony up my last red cent To have thee maimed if mugging weren’t a crime!

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Bill Baker

Date: 7/26/2023 8:15:00 PM

The last line was a killer. :-) Congrats on your contest win, Janice. Smiles ~ Blessings Bill

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 6/26/2023 10:07:00 AM

Congratulations on your win. A creative write. True for many. Hope Not for you. Have a blessed day writing away.....................

Janice Canerdy
Date: 6/26/2023 11:58:00 AM

It was only PARTLY true for me. THANKS so much, Paula. Janice

Vijay Pandit

Date: 6/11/2023 4:55:00 AM

Those spent feelings for someone no good do haunt---How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways... You put him in his place with this splendid sonnet.

Janice Canerdy
Date: 6/11/2023 5:23:00 AM

Thanks so much, Vijay. Janice

Robert Lindley

Date: 6/10/2023 6:47:00 PM

VENTING IN VERSE, a great one my friend. When one has been cheated on and made a fool of, anger comes naturally. Powerful. God bless.

Janice Canerdy
Date: 6/10/2023 7:49:00 PM

Thanks so much, Robert. Janice

Lin Lane

Date: 6/10/2023 2:56:00 PM

lol oh I recall having had similar thoughts years ago. A good vent in a Sonnet is what I'd recommend to get it off the chest, Janice.

Lin Lane
Date: 6/10/2023 6:37:00 PM

And you got it!

Janice Canerdy
Date: 6/10/2023 5:25:00 PM

Lin, thanks a million! I'm hoping readers won't take this too seriously! I needed your "lol"! Janice

Jan Allison

Date: 6/10/2023 12:07:00 PM

Shakespeare himself would be delighted to read this powerful sonnet Janice:-) I have to say i found the ending and the explanation brought a chuckle to my lips hugs jan xx

Janice Canerdy
Date: 6/10/2023 5:24:00 PM

Jan, THANK YOU for the chuckle. I was afraid my odd sense of humor might have led me astray on this one! Janice

Ilene Bauer

Date: 6/10/2023 11:23:00 AM

Glad to hear this is fictional, Janice! It’s very powerful and well-written, though…

Janice Canerdy
Date: 6/10/2023 5:22:00 PM

Thanks so much, Ilene! I sometimes have a somewhat warped sense of humor! :-) Janice