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Holiday Monorhyme

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Hip hip hooray, I’m on my holiday; at our beach chalet; it’s called Castaway! It is here I stay with my best friend Faye; on soft sand we lay, I could tan all day! Boats bob and sway, we watch them sail away I get soaked from sea spray down at the bay! Rhyme Battle XI Sponsored by Juli-Michelle 10 syllables per line checked with how many syllables Monorhyme and internal rhyme 04~27~17

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Paul Callus

Date: 5/2/2017 12:40:00 PM

Hi Jan! You did a really good job with this monorhyme, including the use of internal rhyme. I notice that it's a winning entry, so...congratulations!! Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2017 2:12:00 PM

I was on the winners list and enjoyed the challenge Paul:-) hugs Jan xx

Reason A. Poteet

Date: 5/1/2017 4:58:00 PM

This moves to the motion of the waves, Jan. Fine flow. I enjoyed the read and offer my congratulations on your placement.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2017 1:24:00 AM

Thanks so much Reason:-) hugs Jan xx

John Michaels

Date: 5/1/2017 11:00:00 AM

Nice chirpy rhythm to this one, Jan and brings a smile to my face. Congrats on your win! Regards, John.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2017 1:24:00 AM

Cheers John:-) hugs Jan xx

Sara Chansarkar

Date: 5/1/2017 8:54:00 AM

I want a holiday too now:)Congrats on your win Jan!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2017 1:25:00 AM

I live on a little Island it may not be tropical but I feel like I am on holiday when I see the beach and sea!:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 4/30/2017 4:43:00 PM

Congrats on your win Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 4/30/2017 7:08:00 PM

Thanks Joseph:-) hugs Jan xx

John Hamilton

Date: 4/30/2017 2:15:00 PM

Thanks Jan for a good entry, next time try a rhyme with a little more difficulty, and it will place higher, thanks a lot!

Jan Allison
Date: 4/30/2017 2:31:00 PM

I will try harder for next time John:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 4/28/2017 8:12:00 PM

oh gosh, I was thinking of doing AY rhyme but it only seems to lend itself to seaside rhymes and then I will like like I am imitating you. haha. That contest of his is filling up WAY too fast but good news for me. Joe is late tonight and I get to hurry and catch up here (poor guy. it's SNOWING in Wyoming and they shut down the freaking freeway!!)

Jan Allison
Date: 4/29/2017 2:12:00 AM

I wrote about 15 lines in my notebook at work on Thursday then played with the lines once I got home and managed to precis it down to the final poem. I'm still not entirely happy with the final line and will work on it if I have time:-) hugs Jan xx

Lin Lane

Date: 4/28/2017 6:44:00 PM

Next time you go on holiday please take your friend, Lin. Have passport ~ will travel. Very nicely done, Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/28/2017 6:58:00 PM

If I could have rhymed it with Lin I would have but don't think it would have worked lol:-) hugs jan xx

Chris Green

Date: 4/28/2017 5:59:00 AM

FANTASTIC!!! Jan, I loved this. I could picture it. Beautifully written with fun and sun as the theme and who wouldn't love that? Best wishes in the contest

Jan Allison
Date: 4/28/2017 6:01:00 AM

aww thanks Chris:-) I wrote down about 15 lines when I was at work yesterday and played around with them so i could get the poem to flow I'm still a little unsure about the final couplet but will leave it for now unless I can think of making it better:-) hugs jan xx

Roy Pett

Date: 4/28/2017 3:30:00 AM

Inspirational and so clever, so talented, Brilliant Jan. A7

Jan Allison
Date: 4/28/2017 4:21:00 AM

You are too kind Roy I just use the contest to inspire me:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 4/28/2017 2:56:00 AM

- Sounds delicious, Jan :) .... wish I was there - Good luck in the contest - Happy Friday :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Jan Allison
Date: 4/28/2017 4:22:00 AM

I live five mins walk from a lovely beach and bay Anne lise:-) hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 4/28/2017 12:32:00 AM

A much better holiday than France for sure!!! :)

Jan Allison
Date: 4/28/2017 6:58:00 AM

I would never go back I found some french folks so rude and arrogant Arthur:-( hugs Jan xx

Carole Duet

Date: 4/27/2017 9:18:00 PM

Good one, Jan! I wish I were there! Great mono! Beautiful pic by the way.

White Wolf

Date: 4/27/2017 8:48:00 PM

I really like this, Jan! Outstanding! If this doesn't win I'll go "HEY!!!" Good luck to you.

Phillip Garcia

Date: 4/27/2017 7:04:00 PM

I momentarily forgot that you people call vacation "holiday". You did a superb job with this, Jan. I've been playing with one (a poem, don't be gross) and struggling with the internal rhyme. You managed it in a free flowing fashion that took us with you to the bay. Where was this poem when I was locked up??? :)

Jan Allison
Date: 4/27/2017 7:36:00 PM

Thanks for your lovely comment Phillip - I wrote the outline of the poem today at work. In total there were about 15 lines but I was just playing with the and rhyme and got to the end result which I am happy with ... I thought your mum sent you my poop poems when you were away!:-) hugs jan xx