Notes About The Poem

Holiday Monorhyme

Hip hip hooray, I’m on my holiday; at our beach chalet; it’s called Castaway! It is here I stay with my best friend Faye; on soft sand we lay, I could tan all day! Boats bob and sway, we watch them sail away I get soaked from sea spray down at the bay! Rhyme Battle XI Sponsored by Juli-Michelle 10 syllables per line checked with how many syllables Monorhyme and internal rhyme 04~27~17
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

Poem

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Callus Avatar
May 2, 2017 at 12:40 PM
Hi Jan! You did a really good job with this monorhyme, including the use of internal rhyme. I notice that it's a winning entry, so...congratulations!! Hugs // paul
Allison Avatar
May 2, 2017 at 2:12 PM
I was on the winners list and enjoyed the challenge Paul:-) hugs Jan xx
Poteet Avatar
May 1, 2017 at 4:58 PM
This moves to the motion of the waves, Jan. Fine flow. I enjoyed the read and offer my congratulations on your placement.
Allison Avatar
May 2, 2017 at 1:24 AM
Thanks so much Reason:-) hugs Jan xx
Michaels Avatar
May 1, 2017 at 11:00 AM
Nice chirpy rhythm to this one, Jan and brings a smile to my face. Congrats on your win! Regards, John.
Allison Avatar
May 2, 2017 at 1:24 AM
Cheers John:-) hugs Jan xx
Chansarkar Avatar
May 1, 2017 at 8:54 AM
I want a holiday too now:)Congrats on your win Jan!
Allison Avatar
May 2, 2017 at 1:25 AM
I live on a little Island it may not be tropical but I feel like I am on holiday when I see the beach and sea!:-) hugs Jan xx
May Avatar
April 30, 2017 at 4:43 PM
Congrats on your win Jan
Allison Avatar
April 30, 2017 at 7:08 PM
Thanks Joseph:-) hugs Jan xx
Hamilton Avatar
April 30, 2017 at 2:15 PM
Thanks Jan for a good entry, next time try a rhyme with a little more difficulty, and it will place higher, thanks a lot!
Allison Avatar
April 30, 2017 at 2:31 PM
I will try harder for next time John:-) hugs Jan xx
Dietrich Avatar
April 28, 2017 at 8:12 PM
oh gosh, I was thinking of doing AY rhyme but it only seems to lend itself to seaside rhymes and then I will like like I am imitating you. haha. That contest of his is filling up WAY too fast but good news for me. Joe is late tonight and I get to hurry and catch up here (poor guy. it's SNOWING in Wyoming and they shut down the freaking freeway!!)
Allison Avatar
April 29, 2017 at 2:12 AM
I wrote about 15 lines in my notebook at work on Thursday then played with the lines once I got home and managed to precis it down to the final poem. I'm still not entirely happy with the final line and will work on it if I have time:-) hugs Jan xx
Lane Avatar
April 28, 2017 at 6:44 PM
Next time you go on holiday please take your friend, Lin. Have passport ~ will travel. Very nicely done, Jan.
Allison Avatar
April 28, 2017 at 6:58 PM
If I could have rhymed it with Lin I would have but don't think it would have worked lol:-) hugs jan xx
Green Avatar
April 28, 2017 at 5:59 AM
FANTASTIC!!! Jan, I loved this. I could picture it. Beautifully written with fun and sun as the theme and who wouldn't love that? Best wishes in the contest
Allison Avatar
April 28, 2017 at 6:01 AM
aww thanks Chris:-) I wrote down about 15 lines when I was at work yesterday and played around with them so i could get the poem to flow I'm still a little unsure about the final couplet but will leave it for now unless I can think of making it better:-) hugs jan xx
Pett Avatar
April 28, 2017 at 3:30 AM
Inspirational and so clever, so talented, Brilliant Jan. A7
Allison Avatar
April 28, 2017 at 4:21 AM
You are too kind Roy I just use the contest to inspire me:-) hugs Jan xx
Andresen Avatar
April 28, 2017 at 2:56 AM
- Sounds delicious, Jan :) .... wish I was there - Good luck in the contest - Happy Friday :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Allison Avatar
April 28, 2017 at 4:22 AM
I live five mins walk from a lovely beach and bay Anne lise:-) hugs Jan xx
Vaso Avatar
April 28, 2017 at 12:32 AM
A much better holiday than France for sure!!! :)
Allison Avatar
April 28, 2017 at 6:58 AM
I would never go back I found some french folks so rude and arrogant Arthur:-( hugs Jan xx
Duet Avatar
April 27, 2017 at 9:18 PM
Good one, Jan! I wish I were there! Great mono! Beautiful pic by the way.
Wolf Avatar
April 27, 2017 at 8:48 PM
I really like this, Jan! Outstanding! If this doesn't win I'll go "HEY!!!" Good luck to you.
Garcia Avatar
April 27, 2017 at 7:04 PM
I momentarily forgot that you people call vacation "holiday". You did a superb job with this, Jan. I've been playing with one (a poem, don't be gross) and struggling with the internal rhyme. You managed it in a free flowing fashion that took us with you to the bay. Where was this poem when I was locked up??? :)
Allison Avatar
April 27, 2017 at 7:36 PM
Thanks for your lovely comment Phillip - I wrote the outline of the poem today at work. In total there were about 15 lines but I was just playing with the and rhyme and got to the end result which I am happy with ... I thought your mum sent you my poop poems when you were away!:-) hugs jan xx
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