His Wretched Prison

I turned away to hide my tears when his eyes were blurred and frowned with a sigh each time his words were slurred Foolishly, he thought by closing his door I wouldn't know that he'd given in to the demon causing sorrow and woe He was drowning himself in whirlpools on the Vodka Sea I wanted to save him from the haunting plague of misery I begged and pleaded for him to get the help he needed but my pleas were met with blank stares; left unheeded When sober he said, "I love you. I'm sorry for being weak" I smiled as my tears spilled, but no reply did I try to speak I swallowed the words that would sound condescending but no longer did I say, "It's ok." I was tired of pretending Pensive at finding bottles he thought were cleverly hidden I cursed the temptation that should have been forbidden In loneliness I lived, although he lay sprawled on the floor in the room he shared with a friend, behind a closed door He once told me that before seeking help, he'd rather die My heart was wounded and scarred when he refused to try It was a bitter day when I walked away; sullen and grieving The hardest decision I ever made was staying or leaving I've often wondered if there was more I could have done But reflected that each day would be a continuous rerun of his fight against the demon that ruled his mind and soul In time I realized that his addiction was beyond my control How wretched a prison it must be for him to wander alone Willing or not, he forfeited love that had been deeply sown I wept for what could have been a marriage, forever shared but torn asunder by harsh words when his temper flared Now, when I hear Adele singing, "We Could've Had it All" I'm engulfed in sadness knowing he couldn't stop his fall I heard he nearly died a few months back, and what I felt was pity that he still played with the hand his demon dealt December 26, 2020 Addiction Poetry Contest Sponsored by Rob Levasseur