Green

Green

Green eyes beckon me
I run back in my valleys dream
The tank rolls onward
As the grass around me folds
Behold those eyes kiss goodbye

emotionstanka

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Kim Rodrigues

October 20, 2024 at 6:07 AM

Great twist. Green eyes, not of a lover but of an emotional rollercoaster. Behold…those eyes…kiss goodbye. Beautiful, sad and tragic all at once!

Andrea Dietrich

October 22, 2013 at 8:19 AM

Loving this poem again. The one that did not get into my contest but would have been tops!!! Thanks for your recent comments and have an awesome day, Richard.

Richard D Seal

October 22, 2013 at 9:03 PM

You back again lol, commenting your work Petal is always my pleasure

Poet Destroyer A

September 30, 2013 at 7:20 PM

ha, well I got to say, them eyes seem to be rolling the wrong way... green happens to be my favorite color. once again thanks for the puzzling moment. always looking forward in reading your writes. new or old... interesting, and makes me think. ...luv...linda

Delysia Hendricks

July 22, 2013 at 7:51 PM

Can you read eyes, Richard? I always marvel at people who say they do. Me soul be wooden. Tender write, my friend. Tanka on!! Licia :-)

Andrea Dietrich

July 17, 2013 at 2:26 PM

wow, I found a more recent one that I somehow missed again. Richard, I was reading comments you got below here, and I honestly do not remember this one being in my contest!! Perhaps it was and then got eliminated for that second line having an extra syllable? But I just don't recall ever reading this before! It is a mysterious one. I am thinking as he died, he was remembering his love back home. Did I get ir right? It's lovely!

Richard D Seal

July 17, 2013 at 6:45 PM

You know what, as many times I counted that out, I missed that lol. No worries Petal, as far as contests are concerned, I don't take them that seriously, have read the blogs on them lol. Yes you're spot on.

Debbie Duncan

June 3, 2013 at 12:15 AM

nicely done Richard,,,, I'm glad you liked my Trouble With Trolls" ;}

Harry Horsman

May 14, 2013 at 1:54 PM

Like how you maintain the theme here, Richard. really like this Tanka...

Timothy Hicks

May 14, 2013 at 3:12 AM

It's refreshing to read poems that aren't always straight forward. There was a great deal of green in every line, which I liked. It's hard to imagine what was in your head when you wrote this... but it's fun to piece it together. I picture a soldier running towards his lover, but then somehow drastically gets killed... and she's just left to watch it with no hope of stopping it. Each person will take it differently I imagine... my submission was the color orange - perhaps a bit unorthodox...

Richard D Seal

May 14, 2013 at 4:15 AM

Hi Tim, nothing is unorthodox in poetry, in many was that is what poetry is, the turning of words and meanins from the norm, not sure if I've looked at yours, I'll go look now, see if I can make head or tails of it lol

Poet Destroyer A

May 12, 2013 at 3:29 PM

Hello Richard, today was a long day. smothered by love, and family. (YIKES!) However I love the expensive gift. :-* about your poem: without planning, the conception and construction of a real poem. HUM!!! You did well if this is for the 5 minute poem contest. * Your dreams have diluted my imagery with a signal that sends a fair warning shot into a world of self inflicted war. Not the real thing. I' really don't feel sad emotions, just one big unclosed door. These eyes of jade seem to beckon towards a City of Unfinished business. ~ it's all relevant. Thank you for leaving my mind in a puzzled state. You know that one piece you can find.. LOL. I still enjoyed the verse. Mostly I like how I can build my own imagery, and kiss it all goodbye :-( xox~ LINDA

Richard D Seal

May 12, 2013 at 6:50 PM

It's for Andrea's colour contest my Sweet Dark Friend, am gonna have to start calling you PD, am wearing my fingers out on you my Sweet Dark Friend, I wish, he he, thanks for your comment, like I've said before on this form, the explanations are always five times longer than the write and just made another example of this lol. I don't mind though, gives my idle fingers somethig to play with

Ndaba Sibanda

May 12, 2013 at 3:24 PM

l enjoyed reading this piece. The last line seems to mark something tragic-possibly someone breathing their last? Someone falling in combat?

Richard D Seal

May 12, 2013 at 6:38 PM

It's all open to individual interpretation Ndaba, that's the trouble with this form, questions always questions lol, thanks for the comment

Poet Destroyer A

May 12, 2013 at 3:03 PM

well this makes me very sad sad sad... LOL <----- JK.. did I mention sad... :-). PD

Poet Destroyer A

May 12, 2013 at 7:11 PM

this is called my fun side, I'm not wicked enough to play the role...

Poet Destroyer A

May 12, 2013 at 7:10 PM

lol

Richard D Seal

May 12, 2013 at 6:35 PM

I think your showing your wicked side here my Sweet Dark Friend, and yes you did mention, several times in fact lol

Karen Anglesey

May 11, 2013 at 9:11 PM

This is intriguing and imaginative. The images seem to tell of a soldier daydreaiming of his love while rolling through warfields in a tank. I think this is stunning, even if I am not correct.

Richard D Seal

May 12, 2013 at 6:07 AM

Hi Reb, I'm only doing this form this contest, is a sort of dare lol, it's my first effort and I'm sorta in the dark on these. I understand it's up to the reader to put there own interpretation on the write. Thank you the comment which has also given me food for thought.

Eileen Manassian

May 11, 2013 at 7:52 PM

What an EMOTIONAL write, my friend. :) Better? As to this time of night...hubby just left on another trip! :( Woke up to send him off with my love. Now that I'm up...might as well have some soup! :)

Richard D Seal

May 11, 2013 at 8:09 PM

Thank you for the lovely comment Eileen, always appreciated lol

Richard D Seal

May 11, 2013 at 8:07 PM

lol, any excuse to be in the soup

Eileen Manassian

May 11, 2013 at 6:55 PM

Ah....sad tanka, but beautifully written! Lovely, Richard. Auntie is proud!

Richard D Seal

May 11, 2013 at 7:19 PM

I'm getting fed up with this word sad lol, can't you say emotional just to make me feel better lol. What you doing up at this time of night, well your time of night. Ahh, I get it, this is the most active time and you don't wanna miss what's going on lol what you like!!!

Green

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