getting past neglect

when I don't have time to think about being sad it is held differently not better or worse I wish to feel more comfort less scared in the moments I'm set adrift I don't know what I need to hang on to little snippets of connection it's just past trauma I am bound in fear I return to it's only now I'm realising what this is an absence of security or safety it's a full on feeling, but I lock it away because it's occurring out of place what I need to lock in is all the good stuff be recharged, fortified I don't like triggers I physically hurt to do nothing with it but I still wish to be acceptable it will pass I'll be glad I paused quietly it's always better to hold it in or it always seemed that way because... well, I won't be weird about it