Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Forbidden Love

Jan Allison | + Follow Poet |

Forbidden Love

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Jan Allison.

Day of Memory was set up in honour of Shafilea Ahmed who was murdered by her parents for being too westernised and not agreeing to an arranged marriage

Forbidden love, bought you disgrace As my parentage wasn’t of your race And I’d got my white skin on my face Forbidden love, bought you disgrace Were you returned to your birthplace At your desk there’s an empty space How I long to see your pretty face Were you returned to your birthplace? I can’t contact you through cyber space And have to hide my tear stained face All thoughts of you I've been told to erase I can’t contact you through cyber space Young Fatima vanished without a trace I wish that we could just touch base Does her body now rot in a suit case Young Fatima vanished without a trace Forbidden love, bought you disgrace Were you returned to your birthplace I can’t contact you through cyber space Young Fatima vanished without a trace Monorhyme form that I've amended with a repeated line and the first line of each stanza making up the final stanza Fatima Poetry Contest Sponsored by Kai Michael Neumann 11/13/20

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 12/1/2020 7:14:00 AM

Congratulations on your win. What a tragic story. A "wonderful" write. Enjoy your win with a hug.................

Linda Alice Fowler

Date: 11/30/2020 10:18:00 AM

Chilling Jan - very nice penning! :) Congratulations on the win! Linda

Beata Agustin

Date: 11/30/2020 12:30:00 AM

Thanks for sharing this. Congrats likewise. God bless you.

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 11/29/2020 11:15:00 AM

- Congratulations on your win in the Fatima contest, Jan :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Janis Medders Tobechi

Date: 11/29/2020 7:48:00 AM

Very well written and informative Jan. The monorhyme is skillfully done. Congrats. Janis

S.Zaynab Kamoonpuri

Date: 11/29/2020 7:09:00 AM

While the poem is touching, compassionate and awesomely rendered yet it is of utmost importance to know the truth about honour killings. First of all many are publicised but are actually fake false cases and stories , like the recent best seller story on a supposed honour killing of a Jordanian was shown to be fake. Secondly honour killing is a cultural thing that happens among Arabs, Indians, Pakistanis etc for personal cultural reasons and have nothing to do with religion. Islam totally forbids honour killing. Then there are honour killings done in a fit of rage or by individuals on medications that are known to cause aggression. My own son was once prescribed antidepressants for PTSD after he suffered an accident and these come with a warning label so we had to stop the meds as he was becoming too violent.

S.Zaynab Kamoonpuri
Date: 11/29/2020 7:11:00 AM

Read this passage I copy pasted to enlighten on the truth: By Tom Ough, Friday 8th July 2016 "..the practice ( of honour killings) ..takes place predominantly in India or Pakistan, it has also happened in Sikh, Hindu and Christian families. “It doesn’t have anything to do with religion - it’s about control,” says documentary maker Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy. Her Oscar-winning film, is.. A Girl in the River, '. "

Michelle Faulkner

Date: 11/15/2020 3:35:00 PM

Your monorhyme tells a painful story with tenderness and respect, hoping it does well in the contest~

Jan Allison
Date: 11/16/2020 6:14:00 AM

Thanks Michelle, I wasnt sure what Kai was after on the 'Fatima' theme:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta

Date: 11/14/2020 12:56:00 PM

WELL done, Jan! I often wonder what other planet people are from, as all I ever wished for my daughter was that she was healthy and happy with the freedom to make her own choices. I do not understand people who want to make their children into someone else! Aloha! Rico

Jan Allison
Date: 11/14/2020 5:13:00 PM

she is lucky to have such a wonderful father:-) hugs jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 11/14/2020 7:14:00 AM

Hi Jan, You wrote such a well written poem about a tragic and horrific story. A person should be free to love whoever they fall in love with. Sad, but good content and rhymes. Best wishes in the contest. Have a wonderful weekend- Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 11/14/2020 5:13:00 PM

thanks Alexis there is still so much prejudice and children who are living a western lifestyle are expected to conform with their parents wishes :-( hugs jan xx

John Watt

Date: 11/13/2020 11:47:00 PM

Heartbreaking subject matter. Amazing monorhyme. Hugs ~ John

Jan Allison
Date: 11/14/2020 5:05:00 PM

I do surprise with a more serious poem from time to time:-) I originally started off with free verse but then challenged myself to write using monorhyme:-) hugs Jan x

Jcb Brul

Date: 11/13/2020 9:11:00 PM

Oh so very heart-piercing dear Jan.. So very sad...But you did this profound poem excellently..Goodluck. Blessings..

Jan Allison
Date: 11/14/2020 5:04:00 PM

thanks JCB:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper

Date: 11/13/2020 6:04:00 PM

beautiful poem Jan, good luck in the contest. Hugs eve

Jan Allison
Date: 11/14/2020 5:03:00 PM

thanks so much Eve:-) hugs jan xx

Susan Lawrence

Date: 11/13/2020 5:37:00 PM

Jan, Very strong ...a call to the unknown ...a beckon, a hope ,a yearning, a voice seeking connection. It is clear and memories arise of the time they shared. Thank you for this. Susan

Jan Allison
Date: 11/14/2020 5:03:00 PM

Thanks Susan:-) hugs jan xx

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 11/13/2020 4:33:00 PM

Good luck in the contest. A completely imaginative write.

Jan Allison
Date: 11/13/2020 4:36:00 PM

thanks Caren:-) hugs jan xx

Regina Mcintosh

Date: 11/13/2020 4:09:00 PM

This contest was a difficult one and you gave it such a incredible write! I appreciate your lovely poem and it touches hearts with it's depth and insight. A inspiration indeed, coloring the thoughts with melancholy and reflections of such horrific injustice. God bless you for writing about it. Love your pen!

Jan Allison
Date: 11/13/2020 4:14:00 PM

Thanks Regina, I'm not sure if its what Kai is looking for but I am so happy the poem turned out like this, the original start was free verse:-) hugs Jan xx