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For Women Who Suffer Every Month - and Their Partners Who Suffer In Silence

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Oh how I long for the menopause and end this monthly curse I was hoping things would improve, but now it’s getting worse I turn into a chocolate craving fiend at all hours of day or night If someone raided my emergency supply it could end in a fight My skin can take a bashing and I end up with a spotty chin Stomach inflates like a huge balloon, but in reality I am thin Can’t wait for those hot flushes; it could reduce our heating bill I could ditch my trusty thermal vest for I won’t feel the chill!!! Tongue in cheek write Jan Allison 26th October 2016

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James Inman

Date: 10/29/2015 11:57:00 AM

Funny Jan, but as my wife lies beside me, she is not laughing. She spent years between the two and it hasn't ended yet.

Jan Allison
Date: 10/29/2015 1:40:00 PM

Oh James how dreadful - I know I write with tongue in cheek humour but women (and their partners) do suffer so badly :-( hugs jan xx

Viv Wigley

Date: 10/27/2015 8:58:00 PM

Always best to laugh through pain, it's the best medicine, Jan. If you bump into Paul Callus in malta, give him my best, with a handshake. But put your glass down first x

Jan Allison
Date: 10/28/2015 7:37:00 AM

I think we both try and see a lighter side to Life Mr Viv :-) Paul was there to meet us at the airport - a memory i will treasure forever... we will meet up again soon:-) hugs Jan xx

Duke Beaufort

Date: 10/27/2015 8:56:00 PM

Funny indeed. There are things that happen to us that just seem so strange. We are so taunted by our chemistry. You make it all OK with your sense of humor.

Jan Allison
Date: 10/28/2015 7:32:00 AM

I've had numerous mamograms and a baby and my hubby having prostate cancer - you lose your inhibitions - got to see the funny side of life Duke ... it is all too short:-( hugs jan xx

Constance La France

Date: 10/27/2015 8:43:00 PM

Jan your humour is always delightful, never mind menopause, lets think beyond menopause free from the curse forever ~

Jan Allison
Date: 10/28/2015 7:30:00 AM

Oh I hope I'm around long enough to see that lol - just get the curse out the way for me would be a joy:-)hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 10/27/2015 4:08:00 PM

you are always the kidder, Jan. This is fun stuff. wish I could see more. I have made myself late for getting home to hubbie. See ya later, alligator.

Jan Allison
Date: 10/27/2015 4:18:00 PM

I try and see the humourous side of life Andrea - I've not brought my thermals with me to Malta lol:-) hugs jan xx

Michael Tor

Date: 10/27/2015 1:39:00 PM

Nice write Jan Humorous and true lol.

Jan Allison
Date: 10/27/2015 2:55:00 PM

Thanks Michael:-) hugs Jan xx

Harry Horsman

Date: 10/27/2015 10:01:00 AM

Love your tongue in cheek Jan...your poetry make us laugh cry and be concerned..this is a talent, a very special one...

Jan Allison
Date: 10/27/2015 2:55:00 PM

Thanks Harry that is such a lovely comment - I just write and hope people enjoy my poems - I've only been writing for 20 months it makes me wonder if my life would be any different if I had started writing sooner but I guess I am making up for lost time now:-) hugs Jan xx

Viv Wigley

Date: 10/27/2015 5:08:00 AM

Jan, I can set my watch by my missus' PMT, she nags me on the hour. I would not swap a boot in my dangly bits for that female condition, and no, I'm not going to have a test run. Viv x

Jan Allison
Date: 10/27/2015 2:51:00 PM

I didn't know how my poem would be received Mr Viv - I am glad people can relate to my humour on the subject ...believe me its not called 'the curse' for nothing :-) Hugs jan xx

Caycay Jennings

Date: 10/26/2015 8:58:00 PM

Oh, boy - could I wax poetical about the joys of menopause. We must find the humor and you did a great job. My favorite: feeling like I deliberately woke up and decided to dress in wet clothes. Oh, then the hair loss in the shower, oh and .... (me thinks we aren't meant to still be alive) ... CayCay

Jan Allison
Date: 10/27/2015 2:18:00 AM

I will relish the end of the monthlies which are really a curse and know there will be other joys to come but they will be accepted with good grace and I don't want HRT as it as many friends have had bad side effects - long as I'm still breathing that is the main thing:-) hugs Jan xx

Ilene Bauer

Date: 10/26/2015 8:16:00 PM

ha! very funny and nicely done, jan!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/27/2015 2:15:00 AM

I hoped you would read it and appreciate the humour:-) hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 10/26/2015 7:33:00 PM

G'day Jan... I will take your word on this subject Jan and definitely I won't upset you - Lindsay

Jan Allison
Date: 10/27/2015 2:15:00 AM

just send chocolate lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Caryl Muzzey

Date: 10/26/2015 7:19:00 PM

A good one Jan, a definite hit! Best to you n the contest. I enjoyed the read. Yes it is a break but then you end up freezing or burning everyone out of the house. Just be patient dear... ~Caryl

Jan Allison
Date: 10/27/2015 2:14:00 AM

hubby sits in short sleeves T shirts I have a jumper and blanket am always cold lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Judy Konos

Date: 10/26/2015 6:44:00 PM

That is not the kind of flash I wanted to see....where's those guys who ran across the stage flashing? Bring um back!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/26/2015 6:46:00 PM

lol Judy - would settle for a hot one at the moment its soooo cold at the moment :-( hugs jan xx

Frederic Parker

Date: 10/26/2015 4:36:00 PM

my wife has been dealing with hot flashes for 15 years now..I feel for her, because we live in Florida where it's already hot.

Jan Allison
Date: 10/26/2015 4:38:00 PM

I think I better move to warmer climes Frederic I am always cold:-( hugs jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 10/26/2015 1:35:00 PM

- It disappears, dear Jan ..... like a birth, painful at the moment ..... thereafter it is forgotten ....... but, it will surely come something new ..... always something :))) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Jan Allison
Date: 10/26/2015 2:33:00 PM

LOL:-) hugs jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen
Date: 10/26/2015 1:48:00 PM

- "REPAIR AGE " ..... comes sneaking in :)))) -

Jan Allison
Date: 10/26/2015 1:40:00 PM

You get rid of one problem and another one follows right behind - oh great lol:-) hugs jan xx

Eileen Manassian

Date: 10/26/2015 1:31:00 PM

Oh Jan....those dwarves are all living at my house....shall I send them your way??? I know, right! Good one!! The write I mean....menopause is a pain in the arse! ;) Hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 10/26/2015 1:34:00 PM

ha ha ha - they already live at mine lol surely the menopause can't turn a woman into more of a monster lol oh I long for the hot flushes Eileen would save us a fortune on heating bills lol:-) hugs jan xx