Get Your Premium Membership

Fair Wings and Following Seas

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Gregory Richard Barden.


* This is taken from a Haiku that I wrote a couple of years ago, ("Little Wet Wings"), and an idea I've been wanting to expand for a while now - I hope you like it! *

Related image

Far, far out at sea one day A Hummingbird so found its way To roost upon my pulpit rail And thus decided it would stay Never through my years at sail Had I seen a hummer male So many miles off the coast Now bound with me into a gale All day long he kept his post Thus, to be a decent host I prepared some nectar, warm (Tho' he liked my tea the most) I worried he might come to harm As we had sailed into a storm But soon he found his way below And hid until the winds were calm When the squall had ceased to blow And sun had set with afterglow Up he came to perch and see The phosphorescent undertow All those weeks far out at sea No better friends had we, than we A steady thrum of wings, I heard As always, he stayed close to me Then, nearing harbor it occurred I hadn't seen my Hummingbird ... So odd, the ache that raked my soul Eyes stinging as my vision blurred 'Twas many years, that, now I'm old How often I've that story, told ... Yet more, the times I've looked to sky For hummer wings, so bright and bold And should I spot that bird a-high I pray he'll linger, bye-and-bye For I've not known a better friend Nor greater need to blot my eye ... Our souls were kin ... wee bird and I. ~ 1st Place ~ in the "Devotion To Ocean" Poetry Contest, Chantelle Anne Cooke, Judge & Sponsor. (This is a form of Rubaiyat I've been playing with that I call "Echoing Rubaiyat", and it carries the rhyme of line three to the next stanza - AABA, BBCB, CCDC, DDED, etc.).

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 9/9/2019 10:00:00 AM
What a lovely story - shades of the Ancient Mariner, but with a happier ending for the bird, a guardian angel methinks. Enjoyed the words and the rhyming.
Login to Reply
Date: 9/8/2019 2:58:00 PM
Beautiful storytelling G, and I like the form and the rhyme, I see congrats are in order for another win!
Login to Reply
Date: 8/17/2019 8:38:00 PM
A wondrous write, dear Greg! Congratulations!
Login to Reply
Date: 8/16/2019 3:33:00 AM
- This really is a wonderful story, Gregory :) - Congratulations on your well deserved 1st place in the contest - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Login to Reply
Date: 8/15/2019 11:33:00 PM
A cute tale and one I hope is true...congrats on your win.
Login to Reply
Date: 8/15/2019 9:46:00 PM
Congratulation on your wonderful win! Hugs
Login to Reply
Date: 8/15/2019 3:50:00 PM
I knew this would be a top winner Greg, and I am so happy to see this fave of mine in First Place! Congratulations on your deserving top win! : ) xxoo
Login to Reply
Date: 8/11/2019 11:55:00 AM
Absolutely precious and beautifully written. You are really good - you know that, don't you, Greg.
Login to Reply
Date: 8/10/2019 8:14:00 PM
Hello Gregory … very touching indeed. I would have loved to have observed humming birds but alas we don't have them. We have honeyeaters here that can be amusing amongst the fuchsia's and quite bold - thank you for your enjoyable verse Gregory - Lindsay
Login to Reply
Date: 8/10/2019 3:01:00 AM
This is magnificent Greg! You write with such compassion and emotion that gladdends the heart. This is sure to be a top winner. I am putting this heartwarming jewel into my faves! It blows my little entry out of the water, but I won't mind losing to such excellence! : )
Login to Reply

Book: Reflection on the Important Things