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Excerpt from “fake” encomium given years ago... 
at Lake Wobegone High School (my alma mater), 

and recently discovered ridiculous rough draft
amidst plethora of junk emails
while practice reading some lines 
regarding Midsummer Night's Dream 
upcoming performance.

Arch back like a professional ballet dancer 
to stand out from other pedestrian applicants 
seeking to fill my well-worn shoes.

Illuminate your soul 
via modest communication 
sans sole full insight 
acquired thru being apprenticed 
with this storied prestigious law firm 
of Anne Culle, Achilles Heale, 
and Marathon Nike.
   
Keep your nose 
to the academic grindstone 
despite the temptation 
to appropriate the international family business 
and graduate with supreme accolades 
from this famous father.

He forsook frivolity 
per his peers 
in exchange for a stock reputation 
of gentility honesty, and integrity 
despite his humble roots 
as the only male heir 
of a Middle Eastern European 
Jewish mother and father.

They scrimped, saved and sacrificed 
scarce resources to set the stage 
for this scion 
of well-deserved fame and fortune.

Never forget those grandparents 
whose adherence to work 
their fingers to the bone 
(literally) allowed, enabled 
and provided this founding partner 
per the trio of stalwart attorneys 
for the underdogs 
of the World Wide Web. 

Match deeds with credo of obedience 
to the law of the land, 
as epitomized by Abraham Lincoln. 

Such obeisance to a democratic dogma 
will be firm stepping-stones 
to engender, jump/kickstart, and kindle tinder
an Amazon zone 
of cathartic karma 
from paternal persona.

Such acquiescence toward morals 
of the conscience (and remembrance 
of previous generations 
blood, sweat and tears) 
will serve as intrinsic manna 
for clients to clamor 
like an unstoppable rolling stone 
to seek counsel 
from one whose genuine 
heart felt equalitarian demeanor 
a near perfect recipe for satisfaction 
for helping others smooth out 
jagged abutments arising in their lives.

Rather than lecture and command 
with a dictatorial cutthroat reign of terror 
(as casually espoused in “The Prince” 
by Machiavelli), this democratic, 
humanistic, liberal minded torchbearer 
of justice advises active listening 
(as advocated by the late Jean Dole, 
my renown mentor from Lima, Pennsylvania), 
inculcating intuitive posturing 
toward delivering random acts of kindness.

This includes offer services 
pro bono (with Cher full smile)
if an individual, family, 
municipality, et cetera appears copacetic 
yet struggles against insurmountable odds 
from even chew will fickle finger of fate.

Exemplify by example of zeal 
for the underdog 
(immersed in some catastrophic series 
of unfortunate events) 
that money need not be demanded 
before the welfare of the downtrodden 
(sic – such as the Harris Family 
from Penn Valley – 
who live among the wealthiest people, 
yet feel like outcasts of Poker Flats) 
from the mere exuberance 
of witnessing an ear to ear smile of gratitude.

Rather than be biased, inclined 
to be prejudiced based 
on cursory observations 
of one or many barely clinging 
to the life raft of survival, 
I (as a humble human) 
encourage a relationship of trust 
before casting an indiscriminate eye 
toward those less fortunate 
to live in the lap of luxury.

Luck (or the lack thereof) 
an invisible yet potent additive 
to this mix for those flush 
with disposable income 
or exiled to a hand to mouth 
hardscrabble existential dilemma.

Daily acknowledgement 
for ethnic, genetic and quixotic 
dice throw of chance in tandem 
with loving support of immediate 
kith and kin instrumental 
in keeping in check 
bombastically egotistical, 
haughtily radical degradation 
of fixation of values 
steeped in appreciation 
of aesthetics, beauty, charm, 
decency, equality 
from gifts hoed inside.

Joyfulness keeps love moving 
needling offset predilections.

Quality rests squarely 
upon the pillars of staying 
within the bounds of service 
to those less able bodied 
or beset with untold obstacles 
that discourage setting virtue 
(or the closest approximation 
of what that means 
to the inquiring mind) 
as precedent to blaze
(while in the saddle) a trail 
of care and concern.

Always maintain benevolent devotion 
forswearing evilness, greediness, lewdness...
     
Invoke keepsake mandating omnipotent 
natural personal righteousness 
to vaccinate yourself against 
heinous, nefarious, pernicious, 
et cetera rapacious 
trapdoors of selfishness.
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