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drop-dead delirium

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Written for the contest " how the echo filters reality" sponsored by Dilly Dally.
Written from the perspective of one that goes through splitting; a psychological defense mechanism where an individual views people or situations or themselves in extremes, either all good or all bad. Black and white thinking of an individual that has been diagnosed with BPD. I write about this alot, hoping it would lessen the stigma around this mental health condition and there would be more acceptance and this prompt made me think of that. And many other individuals and their thought process and how it could vary depending on so many factors that influence an individuals perception of reality.

if tears of the sun were the metaphorical keys to unlock twisted trinkets of the searing sky would you feel the festering forest~ homing arctic orchids within these veins? or am I to remain detached and numb; caged in a cursed collision like an evanescent epiphany of a misled marionette ~ screaming for a cathartic elixir…. tonight my intuition is a passive-aggressive gaslighter manipulating the inner voice ~ like a pathological liar freezing the floral clairvoyance… while curiosity keeps crawling amidst crestfallen opium I ponder: do frost and flame, as I breathe in bleakness~ transcribe how the echo within the fog filters reality curated in the midst of melted angst fluctuating like stone-blind blackness~ a drop-dead delirium kissed by the darkness of a silent sepulcher? I’m a prisoner of splitting supernovae caught in polarized pyretic disruptions for everything feels like exaggerated deceit when truth seems like a mere dot above~ a hyphen of irrational ratios carved from calculated confusions, betrayed by the violent strings of my violin heart…

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thriveni c mysore

Date: 12/4/2024 9:49:00 PM

congratulations on your win dear poet. cheers.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/4/2024 9:30:00 AM

Back with my congrats, Ink. A well deserved win.

Ink Empress
Date: 12/4/2024 12:01:00 PM

Awn thank you so very much truly for coming back with your congrats. Its been a long day: and i need to still email you too. Sending you light always

Di11y Da11y

Date: 12/4/2024 8:37:00 AM

So many exquisite expressions within this poem exploring such an interesting concept of the ultimate extreme filter.

Ink Empress
Date: 12/4/2024 12:00:00 PM

Thank you so much dear dd for your comment and also for placing this in your winners list: as always a very inspiring prompt . Sending you light

Jcb Brul

Date: 12/4/2024 8:05:00 AM

This excellent poem delves into deep interplay between emotional pain and the search for meaning using cosmic and natural metaphors to express internal raptures. The tension between vulnerability and detachment is solid, with the "violin heart" symbolizing fragility. I could feel in each line a vibrating surreal energy. Congratulations dear Ink on your awesome win. ^___^ JCB

Ink Empress
Date: 12/4/2024 11:59:00 AM

It means alot hearing your thoughts on my poem, you are an amazing poet and I absolutely loved your take for the contest too. Thank you for leaving such a sincere comment. Sending you light always

Paige Hind

Date: 11/30/2024 12:16:00 PM

Amazing, just amazing! The metaphors were exceptional- especially the supernovae, to describe it- deep, deep<3 a fav-

Ink Empress
Date: 12/4/2024 11:58:00 AM

Awn you are so sweet sweet paige appreciate you always

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 11/30/2024 10:17:00 AM

Wow, this really expressed their contrasting feelings in such a poetic way. Does BPD stand for bipolar disorder? Two I knew committed suicide. It has to be a horrible illness to live with. the one woman I know of could not tolerate the blah feeling her meds gave her, so she left a note to her new husband saying farewell. A very worthy entry for this contest. Nothing came to my mind at all

Ink Empress
Date: 12/4/2024 11:57:00 AM

Awwn thank you sweet andrea, im so sorry to heat that, and bpd is not bipolar disorder; it is borderline personality disorder but i know many with bipolar and suicidal thoughts, so i can imagine. Thank you for being supportive

Evelyn Judy Buehler

Date: 11/29/2024 9:57:00 PM

Dear Ink, your heartfelt poem, with its superb images, delves into the suffering and chaos of BPD, with compassion. Blessings.

Ink Empress
Date: 11/30/2024 5:38:00 AM

So kind of you thank you dear Evelyn

Sotto Poet

Date: 11/29/2024 5:48:00 PM

Dearest Ink, Your poetry is fantastic, as always! It looks into the inner challenges faced by those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Splitting is a way of thinking that sees things in extremes, where feelings and viewpoints are kept apart. Feeling a bit out of place, unsure, and looking for kindness and understanding. The poem delves into mental health challenges, emotional struggles, and the journey to discover clarity amid chaos. It looks into BPD's distinct viewpoint and the stigma surrounding mental health. Sending you a lot of peace and serenity

Ink Empress
Date: 11/30/2024 5:38:00 AM

Thank you so much for sending peace and serenity. Grateful for your support always

Yann Rolland

Date: 11/29/2024 3:50:00 PM

so sensitive images still the ending, where is the limit to mental illness ? we all have to care about i think, your words are gracious and enlightening thanks poet best wishes

Ink Empress
Date: 11/30/2024 5:33:00 AM

Thank you so much for your kind response grateful for your support

Sara Kendrick

Date: 11/29/2024 1:22:00 PM

Some mental illnesses are so tragic for the patients and their families. Thanks for sharing this one with us. I appreciate the effort put into it. Sara K

Ink Empress
Date: 11/30/2024 5:30:00 AM

Thank you so much dear sara appreciate your kindness and support

Silent One

Date: 11/29/2024 12:01:00 PM

Dear Ink, now this is a diverse take on the prompt and something you do quite regularly, writing out of the box in your own empress style.. I know a little about BPD and about splitting as I was in a relationship with two women who had BPD... One sadly lost her life and the other, despite us both being in love, we had to let each other go... sometimes love is not enough.. Splittling is a really difficult thing for a person with BPD and for the person who they are in a relationship with.

Ink Empress
Date: 11/30/2024 5:16:00 AM

This is a very long and profound comment my friend! I do appreciate it when you take time to read and leave comments as i kno you have a busy schedule. Yes being in a relationship with one that has bpd specifically can be a bit turbulent and challenging. Im sorry about your past relationships i didnt know they had bpd. I think those that split will agree about those lines, as i have close friends that split and they agree the voices in their head arw truly like as mentioned here: but those that arent self aware would deny and find that offensive. Also especially cus those with bpd always feel guilty after splitting. Thank you for leaving this comment one of the best iv received. Grateful truly!

Silent One
Date: 11/29/2024 12:14:00 PM

To conclude you poem delves into the complexities of self-doubt, inner conflict, and the overwhelming challenge of navigating a world where truth may seem elusive and emotional clarity seems impossible (for a set moment of time). The surreal and intricate imagery not only paints a vivid picture but also reinforces the feeling of being trapped in a disorienting mental mindset. I'm left with a sense of lingering unease, as if the poem itself is a reflection of my former partner's fractured, unsettled reality.

Silent One
Date: 11/29/2024 12:11:00 PM

You use a lot of words that are negative and could be seen as an insult to a person like "passive-aggressive gaslighter manipulating the inner voice" and "pathological liar" which I think are a bit harsh for someone who i splittling.. for me, they have just lost their sense of mind and are in a bit of rage and are trying to protect themselves..

Silent One
Date: 11/29/2024 12:07:00 PM

For me it sets a paradoxical tone with "tears of the sun", sunlight, a source of life, becomes the key to unlocking something darker, perhaps pain or hidden truth. The "twisted trinkets of the searing sky" convey a sense of chaos, something precious yet painful in its brilliance. Its also a bit of an opposite, as would the tears we wet or fireballs? deep beginning ... You can really sense the internal conflict, emotional yearning, and the tension between beauty and suffering

Silent One
Date: 11/29/2024 12:03:00 PM

It is about patience, having patience for the person.. as, they have abandonment issues and they do not mean to split, they are just protecting themselves... I know some other people who have BPD, and the level of splitting is varied.. anyway, im no expert and I should be commenting on your poem.. I really love how you have constructed the poem from your opening

Joe Dimino

Date: 11/29/2024 9:51:00 AM

"if tears of the sun were the metaphorical keys to unlock twisted trinkets of the searing sky would you feel the festering forest~" Wow! Enlightening. Enchanting imagery. "transcribe how the echo within the fog filters reality" -- Don't we all! I can relate. "a hyphen of irrational ratios carved from calculated confusions, betrayed by the violent strings of my violin heart…" BPD, a help to the artist, a necessity for the Mystic, translating multiple realities.

Ink Empress
Date: 11/30/2024 5:12:00 AM

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and thorough feedback and for always reading and supporting me. Always grateful

Tom Woody

Date: 11/29/2024 5:49:00 AM

As someone close to a sufferer of BP the lines dealing with gaslighting, manipulation, pathological lying hit home. Not so much a black and white mentality for this person, more like a constant change in views and commitments. Anyway, your poem is powerfully written. Hope your week is pain free and happy

Ink Empress
Date: 11/30/2024 5:06:00 AM

Thank you for your response and for reading and sharing your experience too, i appreciate your support always

Valsa George

Date: 11/29/2024 3:40:00 AM

You stun me with your brilliance, but my small brain cannot digest such heavy stuff. I know Bipolar Disorder takes people to extreme levels... a complex condition when one experiences such drastic mood swings. When they are depressed, they sink into the nadir of depression... when they are in their highs, their energy level surpasses that of any other. "I’m a prisoner of splitting supernovae caught in polarized pyretic disruptions for everything feels like exaggerated deceit when truth seems like a mere dot above~" How can the dilemma, one experiences be summed up in better ways than this! Stunning! The first part, I didn't truly comprehend.

Valsa George
Date: 12/1/2024 4:10:00 AM

Now I get it. Thank you dear friend for making it clear. So it is Borderline Personality Disorder. I think it is even more terrible than bipolar disorder. May no one suffer from any mental diseases.

Ink Empress
Date: 11/29/2024 4:16:00 AM

Thank you for your honest feedback, i think its also a way of thinking and how we choose to express, and perhaps my way of expressing is a bit difficult for you to comprehend. The opening lines for me are very simple and simply stating with metaphors, from the perspective of one splitting, and feeling unheard and struggling in a state of confusion and numbness wishing someone would understand and for a healing ray. If that makes sense: and this is about BPD not bipolar disorder which is also ok because not all of us are very aware of mental health issues and more: thank you again. Appreciate your support

Duke Beaufort

Date: 11/29/2024 2:58:00 AM

IE, very thought provoking poem since many of us (including yours truly) have been known to make use of one defense mechanism or another. I like trying them all and there's quite an extensive list of them...I think "compensation" is my favorite. To the person yelling at me, I say, "but I brought you a cup of coffee this morning." Anyway...you talk about curiosity crawling among crestfallen opium. I see that as a great recommendation that we should look at things very carefully and not jump to conclusions! Since I try to simplify ideas in the poems I write, this is especially a concern I have. Your poetry explores emotion in detail and makes me think a lot about the shades of feeling. It's stylistically brilliant (full of light). Those who tend to boil life down to black and white need to exercise some care. It's a complex world our there. Smiles!!

Ink Empress
Date: 11/30/2024 5:05:00 AM

Dear duke, i think you have an understanding of so many things and how you’ve commented is truly very uplifting, i love that you say “ but i brought you a cup of tea” brilliant way to handle some situations. Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a thoughtful response, grateful always

Tom Cunningham

Date: 11/29/2024 2:08:00 AM

Like a lot of mental illnesses BPD has no visible signs and many suffer in silence, thankfully we've moved on from putting people in an asylum that displayed any signs of mental illness, again great use of metaphors IE, your poetry is on another level. Best of luck and I hope you have an enjoyable weekend. Tom

Ink Empress
Date: 11/30/2024 4:34:00 AM

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comment dear tom, so true back in the day i think anyone with mental illness was put in asylums, now , so many are more aware of these things and how to help those individuals. Thank you again for your response

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 11/29/2024 1:56:00 AM

A brilliant poem that explores the terrible illness that may affect certain people. Unfortunately, I have, for the past 24 years, been living on my own (my own choice). So I do not meet many people. The worst I see are people with cancer since I have many appointments in Oncology. Not very serious for me, but I pity others.

Ink Empress
Date: 11/30/2024 4:29:00 AM

Thank you so much for sharing your story and also for your comment. I hope you remain healthy: sending you light always

The Aura Rhymes

Date: 11/29/2024 12:07:00 AM

Splitting supernova mmmm nice one

Ink Empress
Date: 11/30/2024 4:24:00 AM

Thank you so much

Lioness Onpaper

Date: 11/28/2024 10:54:00 PM

tears of the sun were the metaphorical keys to unlock twisted trinkets of the searing sky.. the way that line flows papi!!.. so effortless.. tonight my intuition is a passive-aggressive gaslighter … the audacity!!! But the strength that palpitate through that line!!! curated in the midst of melted angst fluctuating like stone-blind blackness.. the alliterations are so cleverly articulated… I’m a prisoner of splitting supernovae… Haan time to break out aeeee !!! carved from calculated confusions, betrayed by the violent strings of my violin heart… gorgeous end to a absolutely breathtaking piece papi!!

Ink Empress
Date: 11/28/2024 10:56:00 PM

The audacity. Hahah lol gosh you are hilarious. Thank you papi