Delusional Reality Check

Delusional reality check Do you feel it? I know you do, you know the feeling, that nagging feeling deep down inside, inside your soul, your psyche, the part of you, that even you don't go to visit, very often because, it's a very, very, scary place. So instead, you try to avoid thinking about it... that thing, that's always present, that thing, that you can run from, but you can't hide from because it's always there, like your shadow there's no escaping it. You saw the news last night, right? as it raised it's ugly head again? You tried not to watch it, so you change the channel, but there it is, again, you turn off the tv and turn on the radio but there it is again! breaking news, you try not to listen because you know what will happen if you listen... your life will change... again... forever. But you did hear it! you did see it! the unimaginable happened again! Children, innocent children... killed at a music concert by a suicide bomber. Those words, never used to come out of your mouth... but now it happens all, the, time! And so, you try to convince yourself that everything will be alright! but you know... the truth... deep down inside your very core and you want to scream it's NOT GOING TO BE ALRIGHT!! THIS IS CRAZY!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE KILLING VIOLENCE...TO CHILDREN (they could be my children) where are my children? Oh yeah, they're upstairs sleeping, safe and sound... but are they safe? Am I safe? Who is next? will they strike at the mall again? or the airport again, or at the restaurant again, or just walking down the street... will I get mowed down by a truck for no reason at all! maybe at school, there will be another shooting and my children? No stop it! stop it right now! stop thinking like that don't get hysterical if we show any fear, or if we change our normal routine, they have won! and you won't let them win right? So, you put on your mask, your happy smile, that prozac induced blank stare, and you go out with your friends, to the usual places, that nice little french cafe on the corner, the mall, for the sales of course! look at that nice little black purse! Oh I need another one! that, will go so nice with my, oh no, I don't have a dress to go with this purse oh, look over there! it's perfect! you know what you're doing, you're distracting yourself, trying to convince yourself, that all is well... everything is fine! really it is!! your distractions, your delusional illusions, will not keep you safe, and, deep down inside you know it! You pass by a mirror and see yourself, you fix your hair, then you stop to analyze your face, and then, you see it! At that very moment, you realize... that, they have won! For sad free verse contest May 23,2017