Notes About The Poem

 

August 19,2024

Deciduous poetry contest

Sponsor: Craig Cornish

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Deciduous soul

Autumn leaves, I see your greenery embrace, 
Turning into hues of sparkling fire, 
In autumn's chill, where winds of change conspire, 
A strange loneliness fills this quiet space. 
Golden leaves, now departing with such grace, 
Remind me of a love that must retire, 
To dreamland’s shores, where once burned my desire, 
I feel you leaving, gone without a trace. 

Why does the world retreat and leave me here?
The flowers fade, the geese are far from near,
Even the caterpillars take to wing,
Departing bird's songs,  none can even hear,
As beauty fades, the wind’s cold breath I fear,
My soul, deciduous, sheds love’s last cling.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024

Poem

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Kauffman Avatar
September 25, 2024 at 11:00 AM
Marvelous, Jay. Wonderful images, "caterpillars take to wing," "sparkling fire," "winds of change conspire." Congratulations on your win! Blessings
Poteet Avatar
September 16, 2024 at 9:55 PM
Super iambic and faultless rhyme. Your sonnet flows well from beginning to end and reads easily without struggle to "get" the metaphor or stumble over alliteration. My favorite lines are two: "Golden leaves, now departing with such grace," and " Even the caterpillars take to wing,". These define deciduous well with flair. Congratulations, Jay on your placement; my judgment ranks it somewhat higher.
Miller Avatar
September 16, 2024 at 1:25 AM
Wonderful sonnet, congratulations
Ashley Avatar
September 15, 2024 at 6:20 PM
Dear Jay, your poem is filled with poignant imagery and melancholic beauty. I especially adored “hues of sparkling fire” and “even the caterpillars take to wing”. Splendid poetry! Congratulations for your success in Craig’s contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
George Avatar
August 20, 2024 at 6:41 AM
A very poignant poem, dear Jay ji. It leaves a sense of pain in the mind. With autumn's fag end, a chill of loneliness creeps into the mind. Connecting it to a past love makes it even more touching.
Greenhough Avatar
August 19, 2024 at 1:23 PM
It's the winter rest. After we nap, we'll 'spring' to life when the weather warms. Thanks for this reminder.
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