Choked

Gone are the days of her anthem Raw notes of emotion exposed Feeling flat and the audience sharp Missing one octave after another Drenched in fear of rejection Vulnerability stifled in perfection Strangled at the mere peep of her unique voice Spotlights amplify the performance Lights, action, cut Silence protects the broken

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 9/4/2017 6:29:00 PM

I really like the way you did this one and how nice to find this unique free verse I somehow missed. I just love how you SHOWED her fear of rejection through this poem.

Carol B.
Date: 9/9/2017 2:22:00 PM

Thanks so much Andrea. :)

Carol B.
Date: 9/5/2017 3:30:00 PM

Thanks :)

Laken Smith

Date: 5/11/2017 11:52:00 PM

Very nice use of words Carol. Blessed be

Carol B.
Date: 7/24/2017 7:03:00 PM

Thanks :)

Carl Jent

Date: 5/9/2017 7:45:00 AM

Not to have choked is not to have performed and there are many mindless clappers and far too few actors. Good poem Carol

Carol B.
Date: 5/9/2017 11:31:00 AM

Thanks :)

Casarah Nance

Date: 5/6/2017 10:22:00 PM

wow, this holds so many feelings, powerful write carol

Carol B.
Date: 5/7/2017 12:20:00 PM

Thank you! :) This means a lot coming from you. I really admire your talent.

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 3/24/2017 9:00:00 AM

This makes me think of Florence Henderson. She had no talent and sang without abandon. In the process it became some kind of beautiful. I enjoyed your poem.

Carol B.
Date: 3/24/2017 12:30:00 PM

Thanks Richard :)

Wendy Rycroft

Date: 3/22/2017 1:11:00 PM

Well-done very true nerves are terrible x Good poem x

Carol B.
Date: 3/22/2017 6:47:00 PM

Thanks so much Wendy :)

Eileen Manassian

Date: 3/20/2017 5:59:00 PM

Oh...I know this feeling, dear. I LOVE to sing! Every time before I get up to sing a solo in church, my throat constricts. You have penned this so well. Thank you for your kind comment on my poem about my mother. Much appreciated, dear.

Carol B.
Date: 3/20/2017 7:12:00 PM

Thanks for the wonderful comment and you certainly understand Eileen . :)

CayCay Jennings

Date: 3/17/2017 10:46:00 PM

This gives me pause. To me, it isn't literally about stage fright because I CAN'T sing yet I've experienced this feeling in life; one of those horrible moments or episodes that go terribly wrong in front of others so I not only break, so does my projected sense of self. Did I go too deep? Because I think it beautifully represents that choke/broke feel and I'm impressed! To me, this is clever and deep! Hugs ... CayCay (you must tell me, is it actually just about stage fright?)

Carol B.
Date: 3/18/2017 2:21:00 PM

CayCay I love your comment. I struggle with my voice at times. I always know when I am anxious by the tightening of my vocal chords. A specialist told me in the past it's like my vocal chords are strangled. It can actually get to where I can't make a sound. Thankfully it hasn't gotten that bad in years. I use to love to sing but my voice has changed somewhat :)

Paul Callus

Date: 3/16/2017 2:38:00 PM

This is very expressive, Carol. Stage fright is not uncommon, and what you describe in this poem is one of the main reasons contributing to it. I've witnessed singers, freezing, starting on the wrong note, and choking, too!! #7 Regards // paul

Carol B.
Date: 3/17/2017 6:23:00 PM

Thanks Paul :)

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 3/16/2017 4:40:00 AM

A terrible fear most performers face each time they perform. I can only imagine the after effects of freezing on stage. I think I would never attempt it again. You portray this fear with poignant realism Carol. Excellent! ; ) 7

Carol B.
Date: 3/16/2017 10:37:00 AM

Thanks so much Connie :)

Kai Michael Neumann

Date: 3/16/2017 1:28:00 AM

That is very daunting. Choking in silence, protecting and more so drenched in fear of rejection. This is expressed very well. Take good care and keep writing, it breaks the silence, Kai

Carol B.
Date: 3/16/2017 10:39:00 AM

Kai, Thanks for your wonderful comment :)

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 3/15/2017 7:19:00 PM

That would be a most terrible feeling, Carol. VERY WEll described!

Carol B.
Date: 3/15/2017 7:50:00 PM

Thanks Andrea :)

Demetrios Trifiatis

Date: 3/15/2017 2:27:00 PM

The nightmare of any performer so vividly portrayed dear, Carol! A 7!

Carol B.
Date: 3/15/2017 6:00:00 PM

Thanks for the wonderful comment :)

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 3/15/2017 8:03:00 AM

- Very touching, Carol - Great written - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Carol B.
Date: 3/15/2017 9:24:00 AM

Thank you Sunshine :)

Sunlite Wanter

Date: 3/14/2017 6:54:00 PM

Perfect description of a singer's stage fright. I can relate. You must, too.

Carol B.
Date: 3/14/2017 7:03:00 PM

Sure do :). Thanks for the comment!

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 3/14/2017 4:43:00 PM

A sad poem about a great singer that questions her voice. Many outside influences can affect the vocal chords. The good news is it could be something simple and easily fixed. I love this write it expresses the pain of loss in a concise empathic form. Excellent!

Carol B.
Date: 3/14/2017 7:05:00 PM

Thank you! You nailed it :)

Tim Smith

Date: 3/14/2017 4:19:00 PM

Excellent poem Carol...I feel empathy for her and her fear of failure.

Carol B.
Date: 3/14/2017 7:07:00 PM

Thanks Tim :)