Chili

I've slurped chili from border-to-border and betwixt the roilin' seas, In fancy five-star establishments and greasy spoon eateries. I've sampled some that has caused anxious gastrointestinal uproar, But I'm a glutton for the stuff and always go back for more! I'll eat chili with or without beans, it really matters not, Jes' so there's plenty in the pot and it's rather spicy hot! I'll even deign to open a can of concentrate in an emergency, But I much prefer a great chef's favourite and secret recipe! Many are the chili cook-offs I've sauntered my way through, Tastin' gawd-awful concoctions, my face turnin' a reddish hue! Those guys toss things in the pot about which I wouldn't care to know. Their recipes are closely-held secrets and there ain't no quid pro quo! Now, usually I can tolerate chili from any hot and spicy batch, But, boys, I'm here to tell you that today I finally met my match. Satan himself must have brewed that beastly olio! I gasped, shed copious tears and my ears assumed a ruddy glow! I'm told its a social blunder to crumble crackers in your soups, But what care I? I ain't concerned about jumpin' through no social hoops! Some of the glares I get from folks are embarrassin'ly chilly! So what! Me worry? I relish crumbled crackers in my chili!