Home » Poems » Michelle Faulkner » Castles of Rust - Ct

Castles of Rust - Ct

I smiled when the betrayal came Across your face, the leering burst As quickly as I said her name Coldly, knowing she's not the first You wooed me, once, with your sweet talk But now you speak of chains and locks Acerbic tears hollowed my trust Our love lost in castles of rust She's not the first; I coldly smiled When the betrayal came, knowing Her name, I said as quickly as The leering burst across your face So be free - once I take my due She's welcome to what's left of you 9/28/20 "Charonnet" contest Sponsor: Charles Messina

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Paula Goldsmith

Date: 10/14/2020 10:36:00 AM

Congratulations on your win. A wonderful story/write. And what an ending. Enjoy your win...................

Jan Allison

Date: 10/13/2020 9:52:00 AM

hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... i especially love the last line Michelle, Many congrats on your win:-) hugs Jan xx

Charles Messina

Date: 10/13/2020 7:56:00 AM

Michelle, great write and poetry my dear friend. Like Susan said, great killer last line. Unfortunately the last stanza was a little off or this would have placed higher. Anyway, hope all is well and Congratulations on your placement. Hugs Charlie

Susan Ashley

Date: 10/9/2020 6:54:00 PM

Ohh, Michelle, that’s a killer last line.. such self-empowerment! Your passionate pen expresses vivid imagery and metaphors portraying dark deceptions and the resulting corrosion of trust in a rusted relationship... somehow we always know... a stirring emotional piece. Best wishes for a win, my talented friend.. ~Susan

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 10/7/2020 8:22:00 PM

Well said! Love the wrap up at the end!

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 10/1/2020 11:02:00 AM

It's sad how relationships start out so good, but then change. I guess people change with time, but there are some who become more unpleasant as years pass. If we knew the answer to why this happened, there would be a lot of much happier people. Well done, Michelle!! Best wishes in Charlie's contest.

Michelle Faulkner
Date: 10/2/2020 7:49:00 PM

Yes, the way a relationship can warp and twist over time can be heart breaking, thank you for you thoughtful comment, Carolyn!

Harry Horsman

Date: 10/1/2020 7:57:00 AM

Love the story, and its poetic flow...good luck in contest.

Michelle Faulkner
Date: 10/2/2020 7:48:00 PM

Thanks so much, harry.

Gershon Wolf

Date: 9/29/2020 6:34:00 PM

Strong slam, starting with a super title, incorporated so smoothly within the poem. :) gw

Michelle Faulkner
Date: 9/29/2020 7:27:00 PM

While it is a work of fiction, the general feel might have come from an old boyfriend from a long time ago - glad to be rid of him! Thank you for your visit, Wolfman :)

John Watt

Date: 9/29/2020 1:27:00 PM

Powerful imagery of a poisoned love; chains, locks, castle of rust. You have written well of that loss of trust that comes after betrayal, Michelle. Nice work forming this message within the tight constraints of the contest. Best wishes, friend.

Michelle Faulkner
Date: 9/29/2020 7:25:00 PM

I liked the idea of contrasting castles, which are usually symbols of romance and nobility, with the ruin of lies and dishonesty - this was a quick one for me to write (which is rare for me!) Glad as always for your input!

Regina Mcintosh

Date: 9/29/2020 1:07:00 PM

A wonderful write with such deep and powerful feelings - a poem worthy of the stanzas and ideas... beautiful. God bless you

Michelle Faulkner
Date: 9/29/2020 7:23:00 PM

Thank you very much, Regina!

Rico Leffanta

Date: 9/29/2020 11:56:00 AM

Love your attitude! Aloha! Rico

Michelle Faulkner
Date: 9/29/2020 12:59:00 PM

Luckily for me, this is fiction!