Autumn

Autumn unreeled Forests shaken hollow settling like shipwrecked beauty Tree masts of moss Colourful mobs of decay unspooling Last strands of conceit Rag tag laurels capsized casual drift of sacrifice Diced leaves of October, change that drains potency Resplendent wreckage An unraveling season faint in slim, silvered light Outcomes unavoidable with fertility plundered Gold leaf patches fallen treasures washed overboard a trail of flotsam in the lost ego of summer Ragged contortion in sea-water cold in a quiet that marks transition Poem composed: Spring 2020 (Revised September 29th, 2022)

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Susan Ashley

Date: 10/8/2022 10:30:00 AM

Dear Brian, I so appreciate your creative genius! I am enchanted with this incredible treasure trove of metaphors and wonderful use of language. I especially enjoyed the use of the words "unreeled" and "unspooling" and "unraveling", which ironically, adds cohesion to each successive stanza's amazing imagery.. and I enjoyed the Fall season being related to and "settling like shipwrecked beauty"! Your artistry astounds and delights my heart's imagination -- A Fav! Congratulations for your excellent win in Mark's contest. Warmest wishes, my inspiring friend.. ~Susan

Brian Sambourne
Date: 10/8/2022 11:34:00 AM

Greetings Susan. Thank you for most thoughtful appraisal of my small posting. Perceptively, you catch the repetition of "un" words. Your comments are so detailed + heartfelt that they lift the pens of so many poets here on poetrysoup.com. Now that I am over my 3rd bout of Covid, I will attempt a few more submissions. As always, your comments (+ poems) gleam in an often dark world. Be well dear lady. Brian

Lin Lane

Date: 10/3/2022 4:07:00 AM

Congratulations on your winning entry, Brian.

Brian Sambourne
Date: 10/3/2022 7:33:00 AM

My appreciation for your your drop by + congratulatory wishes. Be well. Cheers. Brian

Mark Massey

Date: 9/29/2022 10:33:00 AM

Congrats on the placement Brian, this is a wonderful and unique use of metaphors for the fall, relating to an aging, wrecked vessel, well done!

Brian Sambourne
Date: 9/29/2022 1:36:00 PM

Hi Mark, Many thanks for your message. Yes, there is the extended metaphor of shipwreckage + fall. My new poem "Raked Leaves" echoes some of the lines here. Be well. With appreciation, Brian

Mark Toney

Date: 9/27/2022 4:11:00 PM

Brian, your revised poem from 2020 is a gem. Excellent use of simile "like shipwrecked beauty" and metaphors. You describe my favorite season in ways I've never heard before, and yet your description is spot-on. A Fav poem for me. Congratulations on your win on Mile 14 of my 2022 Poetry Marathon Contest. We're over halfway to the finish line! Keep your running shoes on, because Mile 15 has already started.

Brian Sambourne
Date: 9/27/2022 5:17:00 PM

Hello Mark Thank you for the recognition + placement. I often tinker with my poems + make revisions. I agree with you - autumn has its own beauty + flourish. Be well. Brian

Anil Deo

Date: 5/13/2020 9:41:00 PM

Brian, this is really good. Your choice of words impressed me ... hope I had those wombinations. Lines 2 and the last lines are especially good. (Sorry to point to typos, or spelling: DYING maybe, not "dieing"). Thanks, ANIL DEO

Brian Sambourne
Date: 5/24/2020 10:48:00 PM

Hello Anil Thank you for noticing the typo. Correction made along with a new final line but I am not sure that it improves the poem. Still revisions are useful for added meaning. Best wishes always. Brian