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Susan Ashley - Premium Member

Notes About The Poem

~ Third Place ~

Premiere Contest: 2022 Poetry Marathon Mile 3

Sponsor: Mark Toney

~ First Place ~

Contest: Double Tetractys 5

Sponsor: Eve Roper

Photo # 2

A Double Tetractys written as:

1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 10, 4, 3, 2, 1

*Love In Vain (originally “Love In Vain Blues”) is a blues song written by American musician Robert Johnson and recorded in 1937. Later, it was re-recorded by the Rolling Stones, (1969), which is when I first heard it and fell in love with this blues masterpiece*

_________________________________________________________________________

As the Train Leaves the Station

She 
rides the 
slow slide of 
her guitar blues
knife ‘gainst fretted strings of pain and pleasure

with hours to kill on train of love in vain
fields of fireflies 
find their groove -
songstress 
burns

Copyright © Susan Ashley | Year Posted 2020

heartbreaklonginglost lovememorytetractys

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June 23, 2022 at 12:13 PM

Like a good soulful blues song, this one goes straight to the heart without saying too much. The heartbreak is palpable, the "slow slide" and the "hours to burn" are master strokes. Loving this one all over again; heartfelt congrats on your third marathon win, my PS-PS! ~ your PoBro

June 26, 2022 at 8:14 AM

Dearest PoBro, oh how I cherish your emotional intelligence in hand with your exquisite artistry, both your comments and your poetry radiate with a splendor that is treasured. John, I adore your friendship as much as I admire your gifted pen. Thank you for your inspiring words and heartwarming congrats. Both fill me with gratitude. Warmest wishes.. ~ your PS-PS

June 22, 2022 at 1:13 AM

Wow! Congrats! Thanks for sharing this, making me delight virtually and poetically over your muse. God bless you.

June 22, 2022 at 4:59 AM

Thank you, Beata. It’s a delight to receive your lovely comments and heartwarming congrats. Both are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

June 21, 2022 at 10:14 AM

Susan, you have written this with such grace and elegance. You conveyed a great deal of information and generated a visual recollection in only a few verses. I absolutely adored it, Susan. As well as my best wishes for your success. Best wishes and hugs. Thanks for your comment on my page.

June 22, 2022 at 4:57 AM

Dear Lasaad, your gracious visit and lovely comments are truly appreciated. Thank you for your uplifting words and wonderful friendship. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

June 20, 2022 at 11:30 AM

Hi, Susan. Your double tetractys poem is very intriguing, to say the least. And your illustration adds to the mystery. Is there a sequel? Congratulations on your podium finish on Mile 3 of my 2022 Poetry Marathon Contest. Mile 4 has already started!

June 20, 2022 at 12:10 PM

Dear Mark, thank you for your heartwarming comments and kind congrats. It’s an honor to place in your contest. I’m glad you found this poem intriguing. As for a sequel, none yet, but that’s an intriguing idea.. who knows where my pen will take me. This was written for Eve Roper’s contest where 1 illustration out of 3 was to be chosen for interpretation. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Paula Goldsmith

June 20, 2022 at 10:22 AM

Congratulations on your win. What a "Wonderful" write/picture. Have a blessed day...................

June 20, 2022 at 11:25 AM

Paula, my dear friend, thank you for your lovely visit and heartwarming congrats. Your kind words are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

June 20, 2022 at 9:44 AM

Congratulations on your win Susan... You did it again

June 20, 2022 at 11:24 AM

It's so wonderful to see you once again, Paghunda. Your heartwarming congrats are so very uplifting. Thank you, my dear friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

November 24, 2020 at 7:40 AM

I don't know how I keep missing your poems, enjoyed this one, love the stones, congrats Sue on a great win!

November 24, 2020 at 10:48 AM

Hello John, I'm so glad you found this poem! This poem holds a special place in my heart for sure. Thank you for your uplifting comments and for your heartwarming congrats.. I'm a huge Stones fan! Without a doubt, they are my all time favorite band! :) I'm so glad we share a love for their music. Warmest wishes my dear friend.. ~Susan

Frances Schiavina

November 22, 2020 at 6:37 AM

Absolutely magnificent!

November 22, 2020 at 8:59 AM

Frances, I am humbled by your appreciation. Thank you for your visit and inspiring comment. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Anitha Jayasankar

November 17, 2020 at 8:27 AM

This is too beautiful... So much said and great imagery created in these few lines.. Just loved it Susan. Love and hugs ~ Ani

November 17, 2020 at 6:20 PM

Ani, I am ever grateful when your shining presence graces my poem's page. Your beautiful comments touch my heart deeply. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this piece, my friend. Warmest wishes, love and hugs.. ~Susan

Linda Alice Fowler

November 15, 2020 at 6:36 AM

Beautiful imagery Susan. I love the "...slow slide of her guitar blues..." and the alliteration in your poem. Congratulations on the win! Linda

November 15, 2020 at 5:09 PM

Thank you, Linda! Your lovely response to my poem is greatly appreciated, as are your heartwarming congrats. It's wonderful to see you, dear poetess. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

November 14, 2020 at 7:01 PM

Susan, your poetry is so beautiful; great imagery and flow. Congratulation on your awesome win. Happy Thanksgiving. Hugs Eve

November 15, 2020 at 4:55 PM

It's a joy to receive your beautiful feedback, Eve. Thank you for the honor of my poem's placement in your contest. I relish being among the gifted poets/poetesses on your list. Your sponsorship is greatly appreciated, dear poetess. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

November 14, 2020 at 12:18 PM

Rhapsody of metaphor in vivid blue my dear rhyme time friend! So smooth like the slide on guitar strings evoking that lyrical whining sound. Congratulations - this is simply divine with so much intertwined!

November 15, 2020 at 5:04 PM

Dear Sam, my wonderful poetess friend, whose poetic talent knows no end, whose own rhapsody does send, my heart and imagination beyond the bend! Just figured I'd switch it up a little! :)) I relish the insightful feelings of your beautiful comments, Sam. I'm always so thrilled to hear from you, my rhyme time friend. Your kind congrats are divine and held in my appreciation 'til the end of time! Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan

Newton Ranaweera

November 14, 2020 at 4:18 AM

I'm pleased to be back to congratulate you, Susan, on your win!!

November 15, 2020 at 4:48 PM

Thank you, Newton, dear poet. I hold your return visit and heartwarming congrats in my deepest congratulations. Warmest wishes, my friend.. ~Susan

Victor Buhagiar

November 14, 2020 at 2:35 AM

Seems Eve gave a handful of first places. Your title caught my attention. I could have written a poem with that idea but not a Tetractys. Of course I am not going to do that now. The title is yours and you deserve such a high place. ~~

November 15, 2020 at 4:52 PM

Thank you, Victor. I'm so pleased that my title caught your keen eye and I relish your wonderful thoughts, but please, do write your poem along this idea - I would love the chance to read your lovely creation. You are an artist, dear poet, dear friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

November 14, 2020 at 2:24 AM

This is my favourite, very descriptive. Congratulations on your winning poem.

November 15, 2020 at 4:46 PM

Thank you, Joanna. It thrills me to know that my poem is your favourite. I hold your beautiful sentiments and heartwarming congrats in my truest appreciation. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

November 13, 2020 at 10:47 PM

Wow, I'm so delighted to see this sublime piece on TOP WIN...Back with BIG Congrats dear Susan...Your pen never fails.

November 14, 2020 at 10:48 AM

Dear JCB, your wonderful congrats warm my heart. Thank you for your thoughtful return visit and for your kindness. Your friendship is uplifting, dear poetess. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Newton Ranaweera

November 10, 2020 at 3:54 PM

This piece beautifully recreates the image, Susan!! I love the repetition of /p/ and /f/ in this piece and how it helps to verbalize 'her' pain!!

November 10, 2020 at 7:58 PM

Thank you, Newton. I relish your insightful and amazing comments. Your beautiful poetic thoughts are a thrill to receive. I truly appreciate how you experienced the technical and the emotional facets of my poem. Warmest wishes, dear poet.. ~Susan

November 10, 2020 at 9:43 AM

This is nice. Big fan of the Stones so I really liked the references.

November 10, 2020 at 2:22 PM

Thank you for your wonderful comment, J. Like you, I'm a huge Stones fan.. always have been. They are, without a doubt, my all time fav band. I wrote a poem for a "song title" poetry contest here titled "With Poppy Red I Paint It Black" written on April 7, 2018, using 19 Stones song titles, if you're interested in checking it out. Your gracious visit is so appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

November 9, 2020 at 8:36 AM

"the slow slide" very nice...surely you've played guitar...or could have easily if you wanted...Well done

November 10, 2020 at 2:16 PM

My dear Arturo, I've never played the guitar but of course I love it and I sure know a great guitarist when I hear one! Your wonderful response to my poem is so heartwarming. Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts with me. Warmest wishes, mon ami.. ~Susan

Michelle Faulkner

November 8, 2020 at 8:01 AM

'The slow slide of her guitar blues' - I can hear the low, deep melancholy, your metaphors so stunning and musical, you are a songstress yourself!

November 8, 2020 at 9:01 AM

Oh! Michelle, the soulful beauty of your comments move me deeply. Thank you for sharing in the expression and emotions of my poem. Your presence casts a lovely shine upon my poem, and upon my heart. Your poetry friendship and gifted pen are cherished. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

November 7, 2020 at 9:31 PM

"She rides her guitar blues" I can almost hear the melody. Your thoughts curl softly around me and my heart. Love holds many emotions indeed. There is pain with pleasure, and you have expressed this so beautifully. "fields of fireflies find their groove" There is something amazing about this thought. You have created another masterpiece my dear sweet friend. Hugs, Brandy

November 8, 2020 at 9:42 AM

My lovely friend, your intuitive thoughts never fail to touch me and make me smile. Thank you, Brandy, for sharing in the expression and feelings of this poem with me. Your comments shine beautifully, as does your inspiring poetry, dear poetess. You are ever appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Frederic Parker

November 7, 2020 at 6:55 PM

the light from fireflies flicker off and on, so do strings of pain and pleasure...well done dear poet, dear friend...good luck

November 7, 2020 at 8:20 PM

Dear Frederic, the lovely warmth of your inspiring presence on my poem's page never fails to bring me smiles. I cherish the insightful beauty of your golden comments.. Thank you, dear poet, dear friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

November 7, 2020 at 12:30 AM

Susan, your blues are soulful and illustrate the image well with hints of music, loneliness, and longing. I love the alliterative image of the 'field of fireflies finding their groove'. Best wishes in Eve's contest, dear poetess ~ John

November 7, 2020 at 10:49 AM

My dear friend, it is always such an elation when your poetic radiance lights up my poem's page! John, I relish your appreciation of the "fireflies" line.. your rich comments and gracious presence makes my day. Thank you, John, your shining friendship ever uplifts and inspires me. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Mystic Rose Rose

November 6, 2020 at 5:21 PM

I can hear the music of her sorrowful heart winning wishes dear Susan.

November 6, 2020 at 5:39 PM

I am moved by your response to my poem, dear Pixie. Thank you for hearing the music of a sorrowful heart. Your heart and your winning wishes are truly appreciated, my inspiring friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Jennifer Proxenos

November 6, 2020 at 7:36 AM

I foresee another top with - bravo Susan, you deserve all and any accolades that come your way. A wonderful Teractys. Hugs and blessings, Jennifer.

November 6, 2020 at 5:36 PM

Ah, my dear poetry sis, your beautiful presence is always so uplifting. I cherish your warm words, Jennifer, a lovely reflection of your glowing heart and I relish basking in its glow. I am humbled and honored by your shine, dear poetess. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

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