An Adverse World Uncurled

“I am NOT like my father!!! You say that again, I’m going to kill you!” I shrivel up in shame For, I am not to blame For the shenanigans you put me through so many times Sometimes, I wish I was no more, but the clock still chimes Yeah, I’m more than kinda high…higher than a contact eye That, I can’t deny — this high is flyer than a stoned fly For all of me really need a mighty major fix — And yet… Making changes in life is like ting bricks In regret… The memories reverberate through my wearisome brain Much like a million pot buds that accumulate through my clustered mindset Driven insane by an adverse world, uncurled in the drain Such and such has been going through my dreadful headspace that make me upset So much like your weed pieces in the bottom of your bong glass My thoughts sprout and about as I look in the past mirror Much like the price of your expensive, quality grass…you’re such an ass I am looking outside, looking in — I see many an error I have to courageously handle assholes That act like fools and are far from angels They are fallen angels from their own hideous hells Depressed as hell because I’m under a thousand spells Of vulnerability and bemusing bewilderment Of crazed corruptivity and blazing resentment I have dealt with manipulative, mean-spirited people for years, Reducing me to tears deep inside, but it appears that I faced my fears Throughout this world of destruction and decadence, Hardly promising an adverse world of pure radiance Thoughts of anger and frustration filter through my mind, Leaving me behind like the smoke from your cigar, remaining left behind Nostalgic night makes me think of the bittersweet time When I held your neck against the wall and punched you out — it was crime! Your foolishness has faded over the damn years As I sink inside with a thousand, fearful tears As I think of the times when this adverse world Was not reversed, then unfurled…then uncurled I do recall my mother and her motherly embrace To protect me from facing the deep darkness To prevent me from running life’s tribulant race But I had to run that race of disgrace nonetheless To unfurl the grace in front of your face…I showed you my inner designs To twirl away the vanity from these lines…also, to show you His signs Still, I’m laced with lonely lament and profound passion It shows clever and crazy compassion…far from satisfaction I smoke this pot because I’m escaping these nightmares, awakening its death stares shamefully… Crawling and barreling inside my insanely bewildered brain…slowly, but truly escaping the negativity The death of my beloved brother goes through my cranium I weep and weep and weep in the deep with painful tears to shed — I’ve become numb as a starving, frightened bum I want to cheer up my family…echoing cheerfully in my mind’s strange stride Because I don’t really want them, ending up like me in somewhat broken pride I’m stronger than I realize now That I’ve recognized my past as a mere stumbling block, but I see it as learning true life lessons somehow I remember the reminiscences of your cruel absence, never letting me be Its sting and the tragedy thereof makes sense to me somewhat, you see? I won’t understand it all the way, for I think about it every single day But God only knows it entirely and He has never, ever led me astray Actually, I pretend to understand it all the way…my worries have no end and that’s not all of it However, deep down, it remains a mystery as He sees fit; I admit, I’m nothing without His awesome wit Go ahead and imagine…an adverse world uncurled… It’s truly an infinity times infinity utopia unfurled Of endearing adoration and sheer perfection — a Kingdom beyond our own I have recollected these fond, yet remorseful memories in mind, all alone God is my one and only backbone, For my back aches for Him alone For my heart aches for Him alone For my mind longs for Him in the depths of the unknown I also want to bring along with me my beloved family In this Earth of so little mirth, giving birth to vain insanity I would more than love to show you an adverse world in my eyes It illuminates my flourishingly flawed mindset and eliminates negativity from my head, running wild and dry, no lies I feel regretless of yesterday in the sunny month of May at bay, Looking forward to tomorrow’s happiness beyond the dismay I have made it this far with my winsome wife by my side With my beautiful, delightful daughter, joy and gladness in her stride of inner childlike pride In this adverse world, uncurling in imaginary, invigorating light, We will produce another family of plenty, together freer than free We are like a wolf in his pack and an owl of midnight flight I am better off, embracing the adverse world before your eyes of elegant empathy, my desert flowery plain of ecstasy I am not like my father once again… But I will please my Father who’s in heaven I am not like my father once more But I will ease my mind with wings of tranquility that soar I love you, my wondrous, desirable wife All my life, I’ve always wanted to zip out the strife And girl, I want to live this adverse world With you, me and my daughter of brazen beauty unfurled You all are unlike any other And, oh with my super strength-worthy stepfather and my marvelous mother Let’s forget about this world of chaos and woe And replace it with an adverse one…although My real father goes through my mind time and time again By then, I will be better off than him more than a million men Remarkably dark and distressing memories flood through my brain As your weed pieces sink in your alcoholic drink like bathtub water in the drain I’ve witnessed so much death experiences in my life That it shatters my sad soul and cuts me like a knife I cradled you close before you ended up dead in my arms…you took your last breath I was your deathbed…also, my friend got harmed horrendously by getting stabbed to death Took him to the emergency to save his young life But, it was too late — what won was the wretched knife All I want to do is cry, but I must stand tall and remain strong; all along, I wasn’t in the wrong As I truly wish I’d belong with my family’s bond and with my hand gripped against my bong Or my hand gripped against the microphone as I sing my song, mighty as King Kong It is getting harder and harder to obey as I escape death’s snare When my life seems to go astray day by day, while no one’s aware Like a fast-lane, roaming vehicle in GTA — My life is a highway of opportunities not just my way, But our adverse way ~Dedicated to and inspired by AJP