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Amberina Ballerina Premiere Contest Winner

A born lioness my untamed heart? ha! 
a mouse, this pulsing token ruled by unruly wants
at times given, traded or stolen - sometimes
thrown down on a dare to be won or lost 
till it became a paper tigress in tatters; 
regrets and rejections  remorse and resentments
flitted like fringe in the wind
        ..I played at life and life played me..
good times and bad vibes as random as Russian roulette
  ..five chambers of folly.. but that sixth was a b*tch..

bravado worn like a honeyed mane ruffled and bluffing
rolling with -or- rolled by the wrecking ball of the spin 
to laugh and lose and tell - and live
through duels between disasters and dreams..  alas, 
chivalry was lost in the gamble but not the likelihood of liability ~  

I rummage through my psyche’s ruined luggage 
soul-searching with mood’s sentimental searchlight 
for affection connection lost in dark depths -
I am but a ghost ship stranded on the beigy side of brawling breakers
sails of self-pity hailed by greedy gusts with a sorrow’s lust -
I pine for a pipe-dream dance  
in rapt thoughtful thirst for a cocktail blend of
bay-breezy optimism swirled with vibrations of om
garnished with a slice of the moon

a pester of wagering pessimistic clouds 
lay odds upon the outcome of a trove discovered in a wistful cove -
this wastrel's newfound fortune of amberina;  
satiny shades of Autumn’s bittersweet 
born of breakage and abrasion -
frictional forces of joy and sadness dress the drift glass
hoarded in the sea’s rabid bites of the shore then
abandoned by the absent-minded backwash -
..forgotten like vague fractions of a song too long-ago to remember..

what passional tales these frosted bits of daystar could tell;
a not-so-charmed journey;
from virginal vessels of translucent wonder 
to shattered shards of a doomed sunset 
their fragility favoring the risks of vulnerability --
bygone blushing damsels damned by double-dealing
recounting deceptions like a martyr or a saint 
    ..or.. perhaps.. that’s just me..
lost to decades of accidental metamorphosis 
if only to reach another shore   touch another soul  
         ..maybe..  ..to touch my own..

O harmonious forces of fate 
how do you orchestrate such feral instruments 
like time and place and distance  
to unite in tune with symphonized chords
re-creating an irresistible lullaby worth remembering..?

nostalgia rouses a stagnant ballerina to twirl on Swan Lake swells 
as faint echoes of quaint chimes reminisce with imagination;
in an old-fashioned parlour with white lace doilies charmed
by heady plum plumes atop silvery-green stems spooning
contentedly in a tan wicker flower basket -
a child sits on grand-mère’s old-world lap comforted in her lavender arms
    ..before her perfume and my mind
          were blown away by winter’s mistral winds..
enraptured as I was with an ornate trinket box with a musical belle
surrounded by dainty forms of hand-blown amber-rose objets d’art 
before there were cracks in the glass
             
   ..could I ever be so enchanted again..?

for the washed-up gypsy gems stripped of shine
are worn and warm and wise and oh so familiar
shaking my awakening with their loss of newness -
their roughed-up radiance tinkers with my sense of awe 
rescuing my mood 
like heroic swords of sunrays slaying the night
bloodletting the black out of incubus dreams
soothing heavy-metal thoughts
as comrades-in-commiseration croon storm-surge blues
with weathered heartstrings’ of hard-earned hues - 
          ..sympathetically
                           with the empathy
                                            of a survivor..
and who, like me... are a creation of tumbling forces of man and Nature

in a mind battered by diatribe tides  
over tossing dice through turbulent times -
I behold an opaque odyssey in a handful of mermaids’ tears;
broken and buffeted their buffed beauty defied destruction
burnt orange and devil red pearls
time capsules quiet with a vintage fire’s glow
illuminates the amber marrow of a tigress-soul caged 
behind the mirror of a little girl’s music-box-memories —
    ..before the dancer’s spin into darkness..

pulp of my grief plashes upon relics of pain and love
gentle splashes baptize despair and shame as 
contemplation undresses the looking-glass of inward reflection -
recollections like sky lanterns lift from starless depths
light-bearers intercede with murky horizons as flames are lit from
ruby tips of sunrise surf ready to parlay shipwrecks and spindrift into gold -
stray feelings of triumph and pride squint in the sun of self-compassion 
like skittish felines -shy yet hungry- they warily lap at the cream of self-worth
finally able to reap redemption from reckless wreckage 
while finding peace in the eye of the hurricane
..frictional forces of sadness and beauty dress the drift glass -- and now -
        dress this drifter in a lioness share of indigo epiphany..

and... I realize that my coming-to-light 
was a fait accompli


Susan Ashley 
October 30, 2020


~ First Place ~
Premiere Contest: Inward Reflections 
Sponsor: Chantelle Anne Cooke


*wastrel: a wasteful or good-for-nothing person*

*fait accompli: a thing that has already happened or been decided before those affected hear and/or learn about it, leaving them with no option but to accept it*

*amberina: a late 19th century American clear glassware of a graduated color that shades from ruby to amber*

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




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12
Date: 7/27/2025 10:01:00 AM
Yeah yeah yeah, I remember this one well. My my it gets better like fine wine, this must be the tenth read and I'm still in awe of your writing. Best wishes on this day. JD
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Susan Ashley
Date: 7/30/2025 10:57:00 AM
Dear John, I'm humbled and honored by your inspiring thoughts. Thank you for your kindness and for visiting my poem once again. It's always great to see you here! Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 10/7/2021 8:12:00 AM
Hi Susan this is the one I was thinking about in the soupmail, so many amazing phrases I have to use it, what do ya say?
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Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 10/7/2021 7:58:00 PM
Hi John, oh yes! So much to work with here! I love your idea of our work sharing a song sheet and have soup mailed you. Thank you, my dear friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 3/7/2021 6:25:00 AM
O' wonderful, congratulations on your well deserved win Susan.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 3/7/2021 7:25:00 AM
It's lovely to see you, Paghunda. Thank you for your wonderful visit and very kind congrats. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 12/26/2020 11:19:00 AM
Susan, I've just taken a course in you. Thinking hubristically that I may once be, in fact, the teacher - I find, once again, that I am the forever student. This is a monumental work. It is exhausting. But most of all, it is darkly sad. Is there no light at all in life for you? You say it all here, leave nothing behind. I have no idea what these other commentors were reading. I see a poet turning herself, ripped open, inside out. Epic. Knocked over. Kudos and bows.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/7/2021 9:36:00 AM
Dear Greg, I am left breathless after reading your amazing comments. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts and for sharing in the dark, sad but hopeful emotions of this poem with me. There is hope for our girl in the end as she has a "coming to light" realization. I giggled when you asked; " Is there no light at all in life for you?" May I direct your attention to my poem "The Zebra Mystique". It's jolly fun!! Or "Heraldry Of A Summer Migrant" full of appreciation. Please accept my apologies for my late reply, my dear friend. I relish the insightful beauty of your thoughts. Warmest wishes for a happy and healthy new year to you and yours.. ~Susan
Date: 11/29/2020 10:00:00 AM
Hello my beautiful poetess friend, I’m just coming back to reread and congratulate you for being NUMBER ONE(1) on the best new poem. So exciting :) xoxo
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/29/2020 5:58:00 PM
Aw, you are sooo sweet to come back with such thoughtful and heartwarming congrats, my beautiful friend. It is truly wonderful to share the excitement with you, dearest Kina, you are a poetess and a friend I both admire and adore and I love that you're back! <3 Warmest wishes and hugs, my sizzle sister! ~Susan
Date: 11/21/2020 4:10:00 AM
Dress this reader in shades of scarlet for the embarrassing blush on my cheeks for having somehow missed each beautifully phrased pirouette from your dancing pen. Loved it, Susan.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/21/2020 8:20:00 AM
Dear sweet Jenna, I know that PS keeps us all busy with reading the abundance of wondrous poetry posted here, so please shed those shades of scarlet.. I am truly honored that you read this one. Your presence on my poem's page always brings me smiles of delight. I am so thrilled to know that you enjoyed this piece. Thank you for your beautiful comments that gladdens my heart. Warmest wishes, lovely poetess and dear friend.. ~Susan
Date: 11/20/2020 1:25:00 PM
My highest compliment, Susan:I wish I had written this! Fantastic use of metaphor!
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/21/2020 8:10:00 AM
L. J., I am truly humbled by your touching response to my poem. Thank you for taking time to read this long piece and for commenting in such an uplifting and moving way. Your inspiring poetry is a beautiful and thought-provoking gift for us here at Soup, my dear friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 11/20/2020 1:03:00 PM
Susan, I see today that your ballerina has made the grand jeté to the #1 spot on Best New Poems! I celebrate with you this accomplishment for your stunning poetry. Keep inspiring and being inspired my dear friend, and gifted poetess! Enjoy the honor ~ John
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/21/2020 8:03:00 AM
My wonderful friend, it was no easy feat (especially at my age, lol!..) to make a grand jete! :)) Thank you for your encouragement and inspiring comments that light me up with smiles. I truly relish the ongoing and mutual celebration of our poetry, John. It means so very much to me to share in poetic fellowship with you, a gifted poet whose heart and pen I adore and admire. Warmest wishes and hugs, my poetry brother.. ~Susan
Date: 11/20/2020 10:38:00 AM
Hello Susan Ashley, this is a beautiful long poem you created. I like the theme of this poem. Enjoy your day my friend.
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Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 11/22/2020 10:34:00 AM
Hello Susan, you are so welcome. eased that I have made your day. Thank you Susan, this is a lovely comment. Thank you. I wish you warm wishes to. my sweet friend. -Darlene
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 11/21/2020 7:38:00 AM
Dear Darlene, thank you for your beautiful comments. It makes my day knowing that you enjoyed my poem. Your shining presence and friendship is ever appreciated. Warmest wishes, my sweet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 11/19/2020 8:21:00 PM
Dear friend - so excited to see your lines at the top of the 100 best New Rhythms and Rhymes! More than deserved for this exquisite experience of the sublime - divine! High fives and kudos!
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/21/2020 7:36:00 AM
Dear Sam, your sublime poetry is always at the top of my very own divine Rhythm and Rhymes list! :) Thank you, my sweet rhyme time friend, for your comments, high five and kudos that thrill me to no end! Your golden heart ever shines with your talent and with friendship. Warmest wishes and a cornucopia of hugs to you, dear poetess.. ~Susan
Date: 11/18/2020 12:17:00 PM
Woo Hoo. You madeaxhigh place is the most Popuar Poems with this one, you really deserve this honor Pangie xxx
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/18/2020 6:42:00 PM
My dear Pangie, thank you for the elation of your wonderful "woo hoo"! :)) Your lovely visit has made my day, my dear friend. Smiles all around. I hope you're feeling better, Pangie :)) Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 11/8/2020 8:09:00 PM
Just coming back to congratulate you my awesome friend Sue n your big win :) I’m so sooooo happy for you :) :) :)
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/10/2020 4:30:00 PM
My lovely friend, Kina, thank you! It's wonderful and thoughtful of you to return to my poem's page and offer your heartwarming congrats once more. I'm still so thrilled that you're back, my dear friend with the sizzle pen! Warmest wishes, love and hugs.. ~Susan
Date: 11/6/2020 11:48:00 PM
Space does not allow me to recount the dazzling phrases that permeate this picturesque masterpiece: "through duels between disasters and dreams..", "lost to decades of accidental metamorphosis", and of course, the harmonious forces of fate orchestrating feral instruments in tune with symphonized chords! This is an enchanting odyssey for the ages, dear Susan, a poetic pleasure cruise, an alliteration avalanche, a vocabulary vacation, an emotional encore. Kudos for your trophy, my poetry sister!
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John Watt
Date: 11/11/2020 12:19:00 AM
I'm so honored that you would think of me for that musical line! I appreciate so much your words and being, dear Susan..
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 11/10/2020 4:20:00 PM
John, my dear friend in music and poetry, I was thinking of you and how much you'd appreciate this line; "O, harmonious forces of fate how do you orchestrate such feral instruments like time and place and distance to unite in tune with symphonized chords" - I'm so glad my instincts were correct ;) Thank you for the sumptuous feast of your beautiful comments and heartwarming congrats. I fly beyond the clouds on the wings of your words. Warmest wishes, my poetry brother.. ~Susan
Date: 11/6/2020 7:31:00 AM
My dear talented friend, I applaud your ability to write as you do, I certainly couldn't , it takes a very special poetess (any relation to a famous poet, perhaps Shakespeare) to create this breathtaking poem and my humble comment cannot do it the justice this write deserves! Kudos my friend and congratulations on your top, top win. Hugs and kisses, Jennifer.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/10/2020 4:14:00 PM
Dear Jennifer, gifted and enchanting poetess, it is my pleasure and honor to call you my friend. Thank you, the heartfelt beauty of your comments and kind congrats touch my heart deeply. When I read your poetry, I say that about your unique and witty and exquisite style of writing too; "I applaud your ability to write as you do, I certainly couldn't" - how wonderful to mutually admire the artistic gifts of each other in poetic fellowship. Warmest wishes, love and hugs always.. ~Susan
Date: 11/5/2020 10:24:00 PM
BIG CONGRATS to win TOP. I have neither the capability nor the patience to compose such a long poem. Congratulation again.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/10/2020 4:08:00 PM
Anisha, your lovely presence brightens my poem's page and my day too. It really does take patience to compose longer poems but I have no doubts about your capability, dear poetess. Your comments and kind congrats are a thrill to receive, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 11/5/2020 5:35:00 AM
Hi Susan...usually I skip long poems, but knowing it's yours I knew I would not be disappointed...a fait accompli! I love the theme, the phrasing and metaphors; my simple words could not do it justice! ~ Congratulations on placing first, my friend, and a deserved trophy to go with it! A fave ~ Warm regards & hugs // paul
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/10/2020 2:31:00 PM
Dear Paul, your heartfelt comments never fail to deeply touch my heart. I'm so glad you didn't let my verbosity get in your way of reading my poem :)) Thank you for sharing your uplifting comments that always reinforces the positives and ever inspires me to take one more step forward on my poetic journey. Your beautiful thoughts, kind congrats and the honor of your fav are all held together with a shining bow in my truest appreciation. Warmest wishes and hugs always, my wonderful friend.. ~Susan
Date: 11/4/2020 3:48:00 PM
Gosh. You women are amazing! To think that all this goes on in just one person!! What a panorama of emotions and thoughts!... Now take us men: Hm. Job. Do Work. Go Home. Eat. Retreat to Man-Cave. Repeat. We get by on the bare basics... Congratulations on your epic poem and your 1st place win, Susan. ~ Neanderthal Norman
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/4/2020 7:41:00 PM
Lol! Dear Neanderthal Norman, yes! women are pretty amazing and amazingly evolved! I love you little synopsis about men.. you pretty much nailed it! haha! Just kidding.. some men are more evolved than others. Thank you for the smiles you bring, dear Gershon, your wonderful presence always makes my day. Your kind congrats are truly appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 11/4/2020 8:41:00 AM
Congratulations on the win. WOW!!! What a story/write. You could make a book out of this. Have a wonderful day with your wonderful win......................
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/4/2020 8:45:00 AM
Your response to my poem is uplifting and truly appreciated, Paula. Thank you for your lovely comments and heartwarming congrats, my friend. I hope you have a wonderful day as well! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 11/3/2020 2:17:00 PM
Oh and a HUGE congrats for the win :)
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/4/2020 8:16:00 AM
Thank you, Kina, I relish your heartwarming congrats as well! :))
Date: 11/3/2020 2:16:00 PM
WOW!! This was an epic journey! I am just in awe... Outstanding, my dear friend, truly :)
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/4/2020 8:14:00 AM
Sweet poetess, it is such a pleasure to see your shining presence on my poetry page! Thank you, Kina, for your uplifting comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed my poem.. This is one of the longest poems I've ever written so I appreciate you going on this epic journey with me :)) Warmest wishes, my dear friend.. ~Susan
Date: 11/2/2020 8:28:00 PM
Wow! Congrats! Thanks for sharing this: so wondrously written; delightful from the start to the end --- with the great conclusion: "and... I realize that my coming-to-light was a fait accompli." God bless you.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/4/2020 8:11:00 AM
Thank you, Beata. Your comments and congrats are beautiful and uplifting. I'm so glad your enjoyed my poem and found the conclusion inspiring. I relish your wonderful thoughts! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 11/2/2020 7:04:00 PM
really epic, susan, with marvelous imagery ending in an awakening... huge congrats on your top slot!...huggs
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/2/2020 7:18:00 PM
Thank you for your beautiful comments and kind congrats, Nette. In the end, the awakening is everything. Your gracious visit brings out a warm smile, dear poetess... Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 11/2/2020 11:22:00 AM
This is a stunning piece Susan. A well-deserved win! Congratulations on the win! Linda
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/2/2020 7:14:00 PM
Thank you, Linda. Your heartwarming comments and kind congrats are both truly appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 11/1/2020 10:00:00 PM
I have no adjectives that can do justice to this masterpiece. A well deserved win. It should have got potd. Enjoy your win. Take care, Regards, Rama
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/2/2020 7:21:00 PM
Your heartwarming comments are wonderful to receive, Rama. I am truly humbled and honored by the generous kindness of your thoughts, thank you my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 11/1/2020 9:04:00 PM
What a masterpiece of a poem, Susan! The words and imagery are so beautiful. Congratulations on a well deserved win. It's a Fave. Best of wishes, my friend. :)
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Susan Ashley
Date: 11/2/2020 7:12:00 PM
I relish your warm and wonderful response to my poem, Evelyn, and I cherish your beautiful comments and heartwarming congrats. Your lovely friendship and the honor of your fave are both held in my truest appreciation.. thank you. Warmest wishes, dear poetess.. ~Susan
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