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A Sad Tune

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Premier Contest 1265

Sponsored by: Brian Strand

Placed 2nd

When autumn days are short and sunlight disappears with hardly any warning or goodbye, I sit alone gazing through the window at the twilit sky, waiting for total darkness and my shifting mood. in the background Chopin’s mournful arpeggios – depths of melancholy - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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Eileen Manassian

Date: 4/5/2024 7:58:00 AM

Dear one... hope the music now has a warm mellow effect. Very well written. I see you got second place. Congrats

Paul Callus
Date: 4/5/2024 2:49:00 PM

Thank you my dear friend. Moods do shift, and depths of melancholy can often be overcome by the warmth of the rising sun! Hugs // paul

Brian Sambourne

Date: 3/12/2024 2:42:00 PM

A terrific contrast between an encroaching darkness + the strains of Chopin. Such a fine Haiku with a melancholy tinge. Be well. Brian

Paul Callus
Date: 3/13/2024 12:04:00 PM

Thank you Brian; glad you liked it. At present I am dealing with melanoma and have just had 2 surgeries in quick succession. ~ Best regards // paul

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 2/15/2024 11:12:00 PM

It sounds as if Autumn depresses you or it could be related to a friendship that lost its Spring and Summer days or to a loss experienced as sunlight from our live disappears as we wait only for 'darkness and my shifting moon'. a very imaginative, very expressive, yet sad melancholy Haibun Paul. Hope you are well, so happy to see you on my page. Blessings and Hugs, JENNIFER.

Jennifer Proxenos
Date: 3/30/2024 7:12:00 AM

I Have just read above about you have melanoma, i had melanoma once, i went to my GP or the flu and he picked it up, a tiny pin head on my back and then again on my neck, you will be fine my friend, look after yourself. love and hugs Jennifer.

Paul Callus
Date: 2/28/2024 7:18:00 AM

Hi Jenny...I am not usually one for singing the blues, but I find that autumn goes well with this kind of 'mournful' poetry. Thank you for stopping by. Warm regards and hugs // paul

Susan Ashley

Date: 2/9/2024 6:25:00 PM

Dear Paul, your imagery captures the depths of melancholy with soulful finesse. Upon re-reads, your verse "Chopin's mournful arpeggios" adds another layer of subdued ambience. This evocative Haibun could be about an Autumn twilight but on a deeper level it could be reflective piece on the human condition of aging, loneliness and loss. There is deep beauty in sadness and your golden pen captures a pensive mood with ease. Belated congrats on your win! Warmest wishes and hugs my friend.. ~Susan

Paul Callus
Date: 2/28/2024 7:23:00 AM

Dear Susan, I must admit that your feedback perfectly reflects all that I had in mind! I assure you that I appreciate the time you take to read and comment on my work. ~ Warm regards & hugs, my friend // paul

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/20/2024 8:26:00 AM

Congrats to you. It is a very pleasing haibun

Paul Callus
Date: 1/20/2024 8:51:00 AM

Thank you, Andrea; your visits are always appreciated. Enjoy the weekend // paul

Sara Kendrick

Date: 1/7/2024 1:10:00 PM

Congratulations on your winning work in Brian's contest. Way to go. Very emotive work you have penned. I can feel the melancholy. Thank you for sharing it with us and for dropping by my page. Sara K

Paul Callus
Date: 1/18/2024 3:02:00 AM

Thank you, Sara. Glad you enjoyed my humble offering Hope you are keeping well, my frend. Regards // paul

Susan Lawrence

Date: 12/29/2023 7:47:00 AM

Back again with congratulations on your win dear Paul ! Big hugs Susan :)

Paul Callus
Date: 1/18/2024 2:45:00 AM

Thank you dear Susan :) I apologise for being so late in replying. Hope you are keeping well and active. Hugs // paul

Ink Empress

Date: 12/29/2023 5:45:00 AM

I can feel the melancholy and the way you’ve described how one gazes beyond the fleeting colors of seasons is beyond impeccable. Beautiful flow to your haibun and i think many can resonate. As seasons change theres many that feel a shift in energy and mood. Haiku at the end is profound too and very evocative. Pleasure reading this. Congratulations on your well deserved win

Paul Callus
Date: 1/18/2024 2:59:00 AM

Thank you so much, Empress, for your delightful and insightful feedback. You read into my poem with the same fervour that you write your poetry! ~ Warm regards // paul

Susan Lawrence

Date: 12/28/2023 6:41:00 PM

Hi dear Paul . I feel the drifting tunes of melancholy…. You have created an environment of intense emotion. The stillness will lift replaced by enticing sights and sounds to lift you up again . Sending big hugs and all good wishes for a happy new year . Love and blessings, Susan :)

Paul Callus
Date: 1/18/2024 2:43:00 AM

Thank you dear Susan for your lovely, insightful comments. I hope the new year is treating you with velvet gloves :) Today I spent my morning going through your list of poems, savouring the essence which tends to get forgotten as time elapses. Looking forward to see your pen in action again :) Warm regards and hugs my friend // paul

Panagiota Romios

Date: 12/28/2023 3:10:00 AM

Congrats on being 2nd, Paul ……The Haiku shows your sensitive soul and the full out poet you are!! Hppy New Year in Malta! Pangie xx

Paul Callus
Date: 12/28/2023 11:11:00 AM

Thank you Pangie. Your lovely comments are always much appreciated. Here in Malta the temperature is slowly going down and I'm now in long sleeves, but we've had a long summer, so I can't grumble! ~ Warm regards, my friend // paul

Suzanne Delaney

Date: 12/27/2023 6:46:00 PM

Twilight and heavy music.You really captured the dark mood of coming winter in this one, Paul. Wishing you a wonderful 2024. SuZ

Paul Callus
Date: 12/28/2023 11:08:00 AM

Thank you Suz. It's been a while since our paths last crossed! I hope you've been enjoying the festive season, and best wishes for the new year. Regards // paul

Brandy Nicole

Date: 12/21/2023 7:49:00 PM

True, this time of year can bring a mood down, as days are short and darkness falls early. However, allowing soft tones to echo, while embracing the calm; certainly changes the mood to beautiful and breathtaking. :) You know me, always looking beyond the melancholy. Many wonderful blessings to you, Paul. Hugs, Brandy

Paul Callus
Date: 12/23/2023 3:01:00 PM

You are always a lovely shining light in the dark, dear Brandy! I admire your positivity. Thank you for gifting me with most welcome insightful comments. Blessings & Hugs to you, my friend // paul

Ilene Bauer

Date: 12/20/2023 12:25:00 PM

you've captured this feeling beautifully, paul...

Paul Callus
Date: 12/20/2023 2:25:00 PM

Thank you, Ilene. Most of it is fiction, but I do enjoy Chopin :) Regards // paul

Tom Woody

Date: 12/19/2023 6:50:00 PM

Oof! Sounds like Seasonal Affective Disorder. I know some who suffer. Hope you're not one Paul. Excellent mini Haibun

Paul Callus
Date: 12/20/2023 2:05:00 PM

It is easy to generate SAD when one writes poetry, Tommy! Luckily, afterterwards we can simply change channels. Thank you for stopping by/ Regards // paul