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A Life Taken Too Soon

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My precious tiny little angel I held you so tightly, counted ten fingers and toes and breathed in your scent. My perfect little baby girl you didn't stand a chance At only twenty weeks old... you were just born sleeping A waterfall of tears flow - I doubt they’ll ever stop. FICTION WRITE ORIGINALLY FOR CONTEST BUT THEN I CHANGED MY MIND AND SUBMITTED A SECOND POEM 5/3/18

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Sara Kendrick

Date: 1/24/2021 1:40:00 PM

Emotive work. That would be hard on a person. Congrats on your winner. Sara..I had a cousin who carried a baby full time but it was still born. The doctor he had no idea what was wrong that it was a perfect baby.

Kai Michael Neumann

Date: 3/20/2018 3:25:00 AM

Very powerful. Maybe, on a constant string of tears, we can descend into some upward motion? Paradox and memories may bring the peace of the river...

Jan Allison
Date: 9/14/2019 11:06:00 AM

thanks for the comment Kai sorry I missed it before:-( hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 3/6/2018 2:24:00 PM

So true for many...sad. Tears may trickle but surely the angel will be missed. GL in contest!

Jan Allison
Date: 3/6/2018 2:29:00 PM

Such a sad event kim:-( hugs Jan xx

Charlie Smith

Date: 3/6/2018 12:35:00 PM

Glad this was fiction Jan, that's every parents worst nightmare. Best wishes in the contest...

Jan Allison
Date: 3/6/2018 12:51:00 PM

It sure is Charlie the pain mustbeso hard to bare:-( hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 3/6/2018 12:09:00 PM

- Some experience losing their child before it is born, during birth or just after - You can not fully understand when you have not experienced this cruel loss yourself - A beautiful and deeply moving poem, Jan - Best wishes in the contest - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Jan Allison
Date: 3/6/2018 12:49:00 PM

I can't begin to imagine the pain of losing a child at any age Anne lise:-( hugs Jan xx

Vladislav Raven

Date: 3/6/2018 9:41:00 AM

Hi Jan, your words bring tears to the eyes. The greatest beauty can be found in the deepest sadness. This write sings into the heart and stirs the emotions. This would be a terrible thing for any parents to have to bare. I am really touched by this piece. I hope it does well in the contest Jan. Have a wionderful Tuesday. Hugs....Mike. XX

Jan Allison
Date: 3/6/2018 12:49:00 PM

Thanks Mike I am lucky I was blessed with an amazing healthy son;-) hugs Jan xx

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 3/6/2018 7:26:00 AM

This is sad and moving Jan. I’m glad it is not a personal loss. It is a parent’s greatest fear. Hugs Rick.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/6/2018 12:32:00 PM

I had bleeding in early pregnancy she I was at work and had to go to the hospital it was very traumatic but all was well in the end, I can't imagine the pain of losing a child at whatever stage in their life a d had a colleague who was full term and had a stillbirth and it still is with me to that day, I was only 16 at the time and training to be a nursery nurse. Hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham

Date: 3/6/2018 2:18:00 AM

So sad Jan, my daughters a nurse in a neo natal unit and has seen this many times. The worst part is the bereaved mothers are in the same ward as those who still have their babies. They have their reasons I suppose. Good luck in the contest. Tom

Jan Allison
Date: 3/6/2018 12:29:00 PM

Oh that is heart breaking indeed Tom it must be like a knife is stabbed in them to see happy mothers and babies when their whole world has fallen apart with losing a child:-( hugs Jan xx

Ravi Sathasivam

Date: 3/6/2018 1:35:00 AM

Excellent. Well penned. Thanks for sharing it.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/6/2018 12:28:00 PM

Thanks Ravi:-) hugs Jan xx

Anna Hopper

Date: 3/5/2018 9:22:00 PM

Oh I’m so glad this is fiction! Great write

Jan Allison
Date: 3/6/2018 12:42:00 AM

Thankfully it's fiction for me but there are sadly many women who can relate:-( hugs Jan xx

Viv Wigley

Date: 3/5/2018 8:32:00 PM

A fine write, but don't stay in the land of sad too long, eh? Viv x

Jan Allison
Date: 3/6/2018 12:40:00 AM

You know me Mr Viv just a contest poem, I did post a funny one earlier yesterday:-) hugs Jan xx

Line Gauthier

Date: 3/5/2018 7:26:00 PM

What a powerfully emotive poem. Chilling yet lovely. Superbly done, Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/6/2018 12:39:00 AM

Thanks line:-) hugs Jan xx

Ilene Bauer

Date: 3/5/2018 5:23:00 PM

i can't even imagine the pain such a thing would cause, jan. too sad! your poem is very touching...

Jan Allison
Date: 3/5/2018 5:24:00 PM

Thanks Ilene, I did post a funny poem earlier!:-) hugs Jan xx

Mick Talbot

Date: 3/5/2018 4:33:00 PM

So very sad, beautifully penned, a winner for me!

Jan Allison
Date: 3/5/2018 4:36:00 PM

Such an emotive subject Mick, I had a friend who had a stillbirth at full term, she never got over it, and she didn't go back to work where she was a kindergarten teacher, can't begin to imagine the heartbreak:-( hugs Jan xx