Susan Ashley | + Follow Poet |
Rhyme | + Fav Poem | Comment | Email | Print |

Notes About The Poem

March 20, 2024

~ Second Place ~
Contest: Black and White
Sponsor: Craig Cornish

---

 

Betrayal In Black And White

The naked truth of hijacked leaves 
when tree reveals a mockingbird 
the wind with knives— the season’s thieves
applauds the loss of innocence 
soprano song his spoken word
as summer turns a villainess 

his merriment in verse she steals 
to feed the winter’s sinfulness
where hunger flies and cries and kneels 
to gods a songster’s soul appeals 
the guilty— nylon-stocking blurred 
...as ic’cles grieve neath ice-damned eaves

Please Login to post a comment

1 2

Christopher Grieves Date: 5/10/2024 8:32:00 PM What a delightful, intriguing poem, Susan. It has a very Shakespearean sonet sound going on and after reading a few times it reveals itself just like the creeping seasons. Quite captivating.. all blessings.. Christopher x Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 5/14/2024 5:51:00 PM Dear Christopher, it's wonderful to see you! I relish your comments, especially the mention of "Shakespeare". I'm both honored and humbled by your kindness, my poet friend. Glad you found my poem captivating, so inspiring coming from a poet of your caliber. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Sotto Poet Date: 5/4/2024 12:55:00 PM Dear Susan, you have penned a magnificent poem on the natural world and its cyclical nature, with a focus on the change of the seasons and associated loss of innocence in youth. Through the use of natural images such as trees, leaves, birds, and wind, you deftly probe the hyperlink between our feelings and the natural world, all the while conveying the topic of purity lost. The wonderful vivid lexicon you've used to describe "the wind with knives," "the season’s thieves," and "summer turns a villainess" really brings the reader into the mood of despair and desolation. "Soprano song" and "spoken word" are two examples of the alliteration that gives this magnificent poetry its musical aspect. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 5/5/2024 5:46:00 PM Dear Lasaad, it's a thrill to receive your wonderful response to my poem. Your detailed comments are vibrant and insightful! Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me and for allowing my verse to touch your imagination and poet's soul. Your presence here is ever inspiring and you are ever appreciated. I'm humbled by your generosity and kindness. Warmest wishes my poet friend.. ~Susan

Kelli White Date: 5/2/2024 11:09:00 PM What a spectacular performance of poetic excellence, Kelli Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 5/4/2024 8:30:00 AM Dear Kelli, I am honored by both your visit and comment. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Paula Goldsmith Date: 4/29/2024 11:50:00 AM I enjoyed reading your write. A late Congratulations.... Have a blessed day.................... Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/30/2024 10:30:00 AM Dear Paula, thank you for your gracious visit and kind congrats. Your comments are delightful. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Karen Jones Date: 4/24/2024 12:56:00 PM I love this creative phrase most “ where hunger flies and cries and kneels to gods a songster’s soul appeals ” Wow such great imagery in this poem! Congrats on your win! Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/25/2024 10:45:00 AM Dear Karen, your visit is a delight! Thank you for sharing your gracious thoughts and for extending your kind congrats. I'm so pleased to know you enjoyed that particular phrase. I am as inspired by your lovely comments as I am by your stunning poetry. Warmest wishes my poetry friend.. ~Susan

Constance La France Date: 4/24/2024 7:42:00 AM Susan, beautifully penned and congratulations on your win in the contest, Constance Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/25/2024 10:43:00 AM Dear Constance, thank you for the delight of your visit and for your wonderful comment. Your kind congrats are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Andrea Dietrich Date: 4/21/2024 3:16:00 PM Wow this certainly deserves a win. Stunning. And congrats Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/21/2024 4:03:00 PM Dear Andrea, it’s a pleasure to read your response to my poem. I’m honored by your wonderful words and appreciate your kindness. Thank you, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Robert Schatz Date: 4/16/2024 10:37:00 PM I love this poem Susan! The images and rhyme schemes are brilliant, in both the American English sense and the English English sense. "the wind with knives— the season’s thieves" "nylon-stocking blurred" Brilliant, as the English say Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/21/2024 8:11:00 AM Dear Robert, I'm thrilled by your response to my poem. It's a pleasure to receive your heartfelt feedback. I am humbled and honored by your comments, and touched by your kindness. Thank you for your gracious visit, your presence here is truly appreciated. Warmest wishes my poet friend.. ~Susan

Nancy Kaufman Date: 4/12/2024 4:36:00 PM Dear Susan, This poem's title grabbed my attention. Some of your eloquent poetry is just like reading Shakespeare which this humble poet hasn't too often. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful and thanks for sharing this one.. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/21/2024 8:08:00 AM Dear Nancy, your visit and gracious comments bring a humbled but happy smile to my face. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. I'm so glad to know you enjoyed my poem. Your presence here is uplifting. Warmest wishes my sweet poetry friend.. ~Susan

Gershon Wolf Date: 4/7/2024 1:36:00 PM Marvel of marvels, Susan. A songbird the object of weather-beaten abductors. Such a theme --- and so elegantly presented in impeccable rhyme. What's not to like? -- Nothing... And so, you have left my fellow critics and I, peripatetic parasites of poetry, to fend for ourselves out there in the wider world of the fine arts... I myself am headed I don't know where. O, Lord, have mercy on me. ~ Critic in Critical Condition Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/21/2024 8:05:00 AM Dear Gershon, "Critic in Critical Condition" haha! I'm sure the Lord, in all his wisdom and charity, bestows a cornucopia of mercy upon you :) Thank you for your gracious visit and comments... and alliteration too "peripatetic parasites of poetry".., but not true, just wonderful fellow poets! I hope you figure out where you're headed, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Victor Buhagiar Date: 4/3/2024 10:56:00 AM Loved your rhyming prowess. Great imagery too. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/16/2024 8:42:00 AM Dear Victor, please accept my apologies for my late reply, I have been away for several weeks. Life has been full to the brim with all things good. We are truly blessed. I treasure your beautiful comments, my poet friend. Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts with me. I'm so glad you enjoyed my poem. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

I Am Anaya Date: 4/1/2024 8:41:00 AM Enthralling storytelling, Susan. Brilliant verse, congratulations! I was wondering what Black & White poetry looked like, thinking I'd write about Stolichnaya White Russian or Black? Lol. Hugs, sweet poet friend~Anaya Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/16/2024 8:39:00 AM Dear Anaya, golden poetess, thank you for your enchanting, inspiring comments and kind congrats. It's always such a pleasure when you visit. Oooh, I like your poetic vision of black or white Stolichnaya for sure! Black and white poetry to savor. Haha! Cheers! Warmest wishes my sweet talented poet friend.. ~Susan

Christina Bowring Date: 3/26/2024 3:12:00 PM Dearest Susan, many congratulations on your so well deserved top placement in the contest. This is another incredible write from your golden pen and as always, I’m in awe of your creativity and depth. I love how you have exquisitely shown extreme opposites here ‘ the wind with knives’ ‘ the season’s thieves’ ‘ as ic’cles grieve neath ice- damned eaves’ stood out especially for me. An awesome, creative write dear poetic heroine. Admiration always, hugs and blessings xx Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/16/2024 8:28:00 AM Dearest Christina, soulful poetess and poetry sis, please accept my apologies for my late reply, I have been away for several weeks. Life has been full to the brim with all things good. We are truly blessed. I am thrilled to receive your beautiful thoughts. Your words have the power to lift my spirits beyond the cumulus! Thank you for your inspiring comments and congrats. The shared creative experience of appreciating each others poetry is treasured. You are ever admired and embraced in both friendship and poetry, golden poetess. Warmest wishes my sweet friend.. ~Susan

W J Clarke Date: 3/25/2024 10:23:00 AM Dear Susan, your poetic genius knows no boundaries. Congratulations on your top placement. Thank you very much for your encouraging comments. It is indeed a great pleasure to be listed with such a gifted and talented poet :-) Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/16/2024 8:06:00 AM Dear W J, I am honored and humbled by your kindness. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Your uplifting comments and congrats are treasured. Indeed, there are many gifted and talented poets on PS, such a rich artistic community. I am so glad that you share your talented and golden pen here with us. Warmest wishes my poetry friend.. ~Susan

Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 3/25/2024 3:23:00 AM - What a wonderful poem, Susan :) - Congratulations on your top win in the contest :) - Have a lovely Easter :) - hugs Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/16/2024 8:02:00 AM Dear Anne-Lise, thank you for your lovely comments and kind congrats. Your gracious visit is ever appreciated. Warmest wishes dear poetess.. ~Susan

Regina Mcintosh Date: 3/24/2024 10:10:00 AM Wonderful write. Love it. Congrats on your top win and God bless you sweet friend., love, Gina Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/16/2024 8:00:00 AM Dearest Gina, please accept my apologies for my late reply, I have been away for several weeks. Life has been full to the brim with all things good. We are truly blessed. I cherish your visit and your kindness. Thank you for your inspiring comments and lovely congrats. You are ever embraced my sweet friend. Warmest wishes and love.. ~Susan

Anonomus Scorpio Date: 3/23/2024 8:46:00 AM Susan, what an incredible brush you wield! I'm forever honored by the connections of inspiring writers I've met through this media. You are absolutely no exception to that found joy! The metaphoric criminality of the seasons attacking one another is quite genius! I'm honored to have read it even. Warmly A.S Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/16/2024 7:56:00 AM Dear A.S., please accept my apologies for my late reply, I have been away for several weeks. Life has been full to the brim with all things good. We are truly blessed. It is a thrill to receive your insightful comments. Indeed, they are beautiful and I am honored and humbled by your inspiring thoughts. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Brian Sambourne Date: 3/23/2024 7:12:00 AM Such remarkable imagery with sharp, insightful lines like "the wind with knives - the season's thieves." Your mockingbird in the harshness of mercurial, seasonal shifts is memorable indeed. Congratulations, Susan, on another superb write. Be well. Brian Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/15/2024 5:42:00 PM Dear Brian, please accept my apologies for my late reply, I have been away for several weeks. Life has been full to the brim with all things good. We are truly blessed. The beauty of your inspiring comments reflect the depth of your poet's soul. Thank you for sharing your esteemed thoughts and for gracing my poem with your creative presence. Your kind congrats are truly appreciated. I hope Spring is blooming with health and happiness for you. I hope your mum is doing well too. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Speaks Volumes Date: 3/23/2024 5:37:00 AM A wonderful poem Susan. Congratulations for this being a well deserved winning entry. Best wishes from Wen Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/15/2024 5:35:00 PM Dear Wen, please accept my apologies for my late reply, I have been away for several weeks. Thank you for your gracious visit and kind congrats. Your wonderful thoughts are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Howard Kerr Date: 3/23/2024 12:27:00 AM Susan, Congratulations on your placement. Yours is an intelligent, deeply insightful rhyme poem superbly written. Metaphor-rich with imaginative dark beauty at its core. Howard Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/15/2024 5:34:00 PM Dear Howard, please accept my apologies for my late reply, I have been away for several weeks. Life has been full to the brim with all things good. We are truly blessed. Thank you for sharing your esteemed thoughts about my poem. Your comments and congrats are beautiful and a thrill to receive. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan

Bill Baker Date: 3/22/2024 4:15:00 PM I like it, Susan, the interplay between the mockingbird and the icicle as metaphors. Thanks for sharing my friend. Bill Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/15/2024 10:07:00 AM Dear Bill, please accept my apologies for my late reply, I have been away for several weeks. Life has been full to the brim with all things good. We are truly blessed. Thank you for sharing your esteemed thoughts about my poem. I'm so glad to know you like it. Warmest wishes to you, my poet friend.. ~Susan

Charlotte Puddifoot Date: 3/22/2024 2:24:00 PM you're such a strong writer..that first stanza in particular resonates with me, it's outstanding - congrats on yet another high placement! Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/15/2024 8:48:00 AM Dear Charlotte, your esteemed words are a thrill to receive! Thank you for gracing my poem with your inspiring poetic presence. My admiration for your golden poetry grows with every read. Your poems are impressive works of art, so creative in imagery and impact! Your comments and kind congrats are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Sam Kauffman Date: 3/22/2024 12:09:00 PM Dearest Rhyme Time Friend and poetry sis, back with congratulations for your win! This poem is so filled with plaintive energy and longing. It is a deep well to drink from and savor. So happy to see it on the winners list! Sending you blessings of the mockingbird's song! Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/15/2024 8:45:00 AM My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, your return visit with your kind congrats is truly appreciated. So glad you could feel the emotions of my verse. Thank you, my dear sis, your creative heart beats with poetry and your poetic presence ever brightens my poem's page. Warmest wishes sent on Spring's soprano song.. ~Susan

Ink Empress Date: 3/22/2024 11:17:00 AM Dear susan, poetic soul, who would have thought of pairing words such as “ hijacked” and leaves” only you would ofcourse! You have a very impressive and unforgettable way of weaving words; and this is no exception, the kind of poem that i see is definitely craigs taste. “ his merriment in verse she steals to feed the winter’s sinfulness where hunger flies and cries and kneels” whoa powerful lines! That left me speechless! And the alliterations as well as the flow of this! Congratulations!! Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/15/2024 8:37:00 AM Dear Empress, soulful poetess, I am ever appreciative to receive your beautiful comments and kind congrats. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts about my poem. I'm thrilled to know which verses resonated with you. Your golden presence on my poem's page enhances its value greatly. Warmest wishes my sweet friend.. ~Susan

Sam Kauffman Date: 3/22/2024 10:17:00 AM My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, your poem of monorhymes is exquisite. This is so hard to do yet you make it look like child's play as your pensive song flows lyrically. I love how you contrast the bright and innocent summer song of the mockingbird with the reality of the dying season in amazing images and lines - "summer turns a villainess," "his merriment in verse she steals." Wonderful personification sweet poetry sis! Every time I read one of your poems, I am left breathless and totally inspired! Blessings to you on the sweet wings of song! Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 4/15/2024 8:33:00 AM My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, please accept my apologies for my late reply, I have been away for several weeks. Life has been full to the brim with all things good. We are truly blessed. Your comments are a thrill to receive, a precious gem, my sweet friend. I'm so glad you felt the lyrical flow and the contrasts.. your poetic insights are full, rich, deep and always leave my breathless, inspired and grateful for your golden friendship. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Warmest wishes sent to you my sweet friend on windblown arias.. ~Susan

1 2