All the Lonely People: Part 2 - Donna Golden's Blog

<P><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: #3333ff; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT color=#000000><STRONG>Lonely people; we know them…we see them…we <EM>are</EM> them. </STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: #3333ff; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT color=#000000><STRONG>In my previous blog, I spoke of fear being a reason that people feel isolated and alone. I know that isn’t true for all, and that many other things contribute to the loneliness. Sometimes we just have trouble meeting and connecting with others who will treat us in the way we want and need to be treated. We’re surrounded by users, abusers, and people just who don’t act as though they want to know us. </STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: #3333ff; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT color=#000000><STRONG>The thing is, I think that a great deal of our isolation and loneliness isn’t even due to lack of friends. From what I’ve seen, we can have all the friends we feel that we need and be surrounded by many who love us. But none of this guarantees our happiness, nor totally fulfills our need to be loved.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: #3333ff; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT color=#000000><STRONG>Furthermore, we try to fill our emotional needs in material ways. We can have money enough to accomplish all that we strive to gain. I’ve looked at people who seem to have it all…at least on the outside. I’ve contemplated the lives of those who have achieved worldly wealth and greatness in the eyes of their contemporaries. I’ve talked with friends who, although they possess enough to sustain them, they still aren’t content. We can even have excessive fame and notoriety. Think of the celebrities who are known worldwide, who have reached the peak of their careers, who have gathered enough money to support themselves and a small country. But they are miserable. Sometimes they’re suicidal. Why??<o:p></o:p></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: #3333ff; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT color=#000000><STRONG>I’ve done a lot of thinking. And, I’ve come to believe that it’s true; we have a God-shaped hole. <BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: #3333ff; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT color=#000000><STRONG>I am convinced, that we have been created to have a relationship with the very One who created us. There are many who would say, “God? Who needs God?”<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes">&nbsp; </SPAN>We do.<o:p></o:p></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: #3333ff; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT color=#000000><STRONG>People run and chase the "American dream"; they frantically scramble to keep up with the Joneses (or Smith’s or Vanderbilt’s). They are thrill junkies, drug addicts, partiers, insatiable collectors, consumers, users. We grasp onto anything and everything we can think of to try to fill the void: money, jewelry, clothing, cars, vacations, extravagant homes, club memberships, physical perfection, social status, career achievements. It seems that as much as we seek the ideal, the perfection and the ultimate happiness, we rarely find it. <o:p></o:p></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: #3333ff; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT color=#000000><STRONG>There is something to be said for that song. <o:p></o:p></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: #3333ff; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold"><FONT color=#000000><STRONG>Here are the lyrics again: <o:p></o:p></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN><FONT color=#000000><EM><STRONG>"There's a God-shaped hole in all of us<BR></STRONG></EM></FONT><FONT color=#000000><EM><STRONG><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">And, the restless soul is searching</SPAN><BR><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">There's a God-shaped hole in all of us</SPAN><BR><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold">And it's a void only He can fill"</SPAN></STRONG></EM></FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P><SPAN><STRONG><o:p><FONT color=#000000>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p><FONT color=#000000>In All the Lonely People: Part 3, I plan to examine what it means to have God fill that hole</FONT>.<o:p></o:p></STRONG></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><STRONG><FONT size=3>&nbsp;My blessings go out to you today. </FONT></STRONG></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><STRONG></STRONG></o:p></SPAN>&nbsp;</P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt"><o:p><STRONG><FONT size=3>Donna G.</FONT></STRONG></o:p></SPAN></P> <P>&nbsp;</P>

Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/1/2009 5:50:00 PM "We are stardust." Yes we are all composed of the same basic elements whether we are viewed as animate or inanimate. We are all part of the body of the Creator. Therefore, in a microcosmic sense we are God as are the rocks, the trees, the animals, the ocean all made from God stuff, all eternally recycled. More search for the God within us and less focus on a search outside of self might just lead to a happier global, universal outcome.Light & Love Debbie Login to Reply

Donna Golden Date: 2/1/2009 3:47:00 PM This blog is not an attempt to provide a simple (or cliche') answer to a complex problem. It is merely a piece that I have written while pondering this seeming epidemic of people who are looking for a deeper connection. In part one of this blog I pointed out how many choose to isolate/alienate/withdraw themselves. Also, religion does not equate happiness, nor true spiritual connection. Rather, I feel it can be an obstacle to having a deeper walk. I haven't got all the answers; just exploring some of them. Thanks for reading and for your feedback. Donna Login to Reply

Sharon Winter Date: 2/1/2009 6:03:00 AM I must agree with you Fred. Belief in God is so personal and so different for all of us. It may be an answer for you Donna, and many more, but I too have seen deeply religious people who are very lonely. This is such an individualized process, to not feel lonely or depressed or whatever, that I do not believe you can make one general statement (blog) on how to cure it. Faith is a beautiful thing, and yes, I have seen it do wonders, but I do not believe it is always the answer you claim for the problem you name. I wish it was. Love, Shar Login to Reply

Wilfredo Derequito Date: 1/31/2009 10:51:00 PM And yes, having friends is not a guarantee against loneliness or unhappiness, never is and never will be. What truly matters is to confront ourselves, alone, at the mirror, looking at the image reflected there and determining if that's the image we want ourselves to be. Are we happy with the image we see? If we can truly say we are, then we don't even need company or friends to be truly happy for that matter. Alone yes, but not necessarily lonely! Yeah, even monks who are alone can truly be happy. Which supports my hypothesis that in the end, it's choice, baby. Fred (PS Hey, if I can choose to be happy than lonely now when I'm just a faceless member of the middle class, just imagine what would I be if I were as wealthy as Bill Gates or Warren Buffett, or as good-looking as Brad Pitt or George Clooney. My, I surely would CHOOSE to be much, much happier...raised to the _th power! And just like the great Casanova, break more women's hearts! LOL) Login to Reply

Wilfredo Derequito Date: 1/31/2009 10:28:00 PM Another penetrating write, Donna. No, I won't even attempt to make a prescription for what causes loneliness for it varies from person to person. And I just don't think that belief in God is a cure-all either because hey, I've seen a lot of religious and truly spiritual folks who are yes, lonely and unhappy! As it applies to my own situation, I can only offer what a priest used to tell me: It's a matter of choice. We can choose to be happy or unhappy and I think he's right. After all, why is it that too many people lacking basic things considered necessary in life or people living in slums are happy, while some folks living in plushy mansions are unhappy. It's CHOICE. We make what we want ourselves to be. The great Casanova used to say "When I look back at my life, I determine that I have been more happy than unhappy, then I congratulate myself." Yeah, he chose to be happy, than lonely and miserable...and so do you and me and everybody else. It's a state of mind. Fred Login to Reply