I just had 19 shots of whiskey, I think thats a record.

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Ricky See thats what I'm talking about bobby, first class. You've got to get used to this my man, you deserve it. Hey ladies, you missed out on staying at the SoHo Grand on this trip you know what I mean. Listen, I'd offer you a ride in my limo, but I got to stretch my shit out. I'm a tall drink of water, don't want to wrinkle anything.

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Its a Story they tell in the border country, where Massachusetts joins Vermont and New Hampshire. Yes, Danl Websters deador, at least, they buried him. But every time theres a thunderstorm around Marshfield, they say you can hear his rolling voice in the hollows of the sky. And they say that if you go to his grave and speak loud and clear, Danl WebsterDanl Webster! the groundll begin to shiver and the trees begin to shake. And after a while youll hear a deep voice saying, Neighbor, how stands the Union? Then you better answer the Union stands as she stood, rock-bottomed and copper-sheathed, one and indivisible, or hes liable to rear right out of the ground. At least, thats what I was told when I was a youngster.

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Looks like my baby dont live here no more ...thats alright, ive still got my guitar.... ...........................(more lyrics).................. i might as well go back over yonder, way back across the hills, if my baby dont love me no more.... i know her...sister will

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I hate a macho sort who doesn't cry. They have to be a bit sensitive, don't they? One guy even said to me at a pub, Do you come here often? Thats an awful line.

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Why do you make fun of Mexicans? It better not be because you think they have such a high rate of illegal immigrants. I hate to break it to you but we didn't exactly enter this country lawfully. Your great-grandfather jumped off a boat and swam to the coast of Maine in the early 1900's. Yes, thats right honey, we're illegal immigrants too.

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Henry Kissinger may have wished I had presented him as a combination of Charles DeGaulle and Disraeli, but I didn't. . .out of respect for DeGaulle and Disraeli. I described him as a cowboy because thats how he described himself. If I were a cowboy I would be offended.

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Police chief wiggum: Put out an A.P.B on Uosdwis R Dewoh, better start with greek town!
Detective: Thats Homer J Simpson chief! You're reading it upside down.
Police chief wiggum: Err.. cancel that A.P.B! But err bring back some of them errm giro's!
Detective: Eh, chief.. You're talking into your wallet!

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There needs to be at some point some permanency to this thing, ... And I think thats what our concern was. Were not trying to tell Auburn who should be the chief executive officer. (Were) asking them to go ahead and make decisions.

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A truth thats told with bad intent, beats all the lies you can invent

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Personally I think birthdays and anniversaries are like menstrual cramps, a regular pain in the ass thats somehow connected to birth.

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Here take this. Your lucky SCRUNCHIE? Yeah...it helped me pass spanish!! Thats because you gave Professer Montoya a lap dance after the final! yeah...LUCKILY!'

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Burnt Sienna. Thats the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

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Ill feel that horrible feeling in my stomach you get when youve gone over to the Dark Side. But Ill be fine. Thats the good thing about the Dark Side. Eventually, your eyes adjust.

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not a day goes by when i dont think about you , i want you back but i can't ,and it hurts so bad knowing that your with someone eles thats not me ... i wish you knew.. i want you back

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I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, thats as good as they're going to feel all day.

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The only way you can do that decrease taxes, balance the budget, and increase military spending is with mirrors, and thats what it would take.

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Being in love with someone you can't have is like living in a life thats not yours.

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