Money doesn't talk, it swears

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Money doesn't talk, it swears.

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I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

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I swims in the Tagus all across at once, and I rides on an ass or a mule, and swears Portuguese, and have got a diarrhea and bites from the mosquitoes. But what of that? Comfort must not be expected by folks that go a pleasuring.

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O.J. Simpson swears he is going to spend the rest of his life searching for the real killer. Apparently he thinks a caddy did it.

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The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong; he can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

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When my love swears that she is made of truth, I do believe her, though I know she lies.

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