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Never give up...
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I have wanted to share this story that I shared when I did jail ministry. It really helped the ladies in there and I hope that it will help someone on here too.
Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}Yawn. Ugh, is it time to get up already? I could really use an extra 30minutes sleep but I might as well get up. Coffee…..coffee….got to get somecoffee in me. A shower will help wake me up….maybe.
Now what to wear….it’s supposed to be warm today…..I think kapris and mygreen top. Sounds good. Man my hair is curling good today! Put on some of mymakeup and my favorite green earrings to match. Don’t forget a little perfume.Yeah…..I look pretty decent today.
Okay I got my cell phone, purse keys…..oh great. This is the part ofevery morning I hate…..putting on my shoes.
No matter how hard I try to look good, these shoes always make me lookbad. I can never feel pretty or confident in these nasty things. They have beenthrough so much that they are nothing more than a ratty, worn out pair ofshoes. Now they don’t look good with anything I wear. Any type of stain you canimagine….grass, grease, mud, dust, food, and other stains I’d rather not knowhow they got there.
It seems so long ago when I first got them. Aaah getting a new pair ofshoes. You know what I am talking about! There is just something between awoman and a new pair of shoes. What it feels like when your feet slip into themfor the first time. Excitement, glee, like a kid with a new toy. You want towear them out the first chance you get to show them off. No matter what youwear, you will do whatever you can to incorporate those shoes. You make sure toask your friends, “What do you think about my new shoes? Nice huh?” You holdyour head a little higher…..”Yep….me and my new shoes”. You feel like yourshoes are a secret source of power, confidence, like Dorothy and the rubyslippers. New shoes are dependable. I knew they would get me to wherever I wasgoing, no matter the obstacles.
I was careful too though. I made sure to step AROUND the mud puddles, youcan forget the rain. I made sure they didn’t get scuffed up. I didn’t like foranyone to touch them or mess with them in any way. But occasionally they would getsomething on them here or there. But I scrubbed them and the spots came out.With time though, being careful was harder and harder. Some of those stainswould come out as easy. I would scrub with all my might and finally it wouldcome out. But it seemed like the stains would seep in a little moreeverytime. One day it seemed no matterhow hard I tried, things kept happening to my shoes. I scrubbed so hard untilmy fingers were raw and I was crying because I couldn’t scrub all the stainsaway. I threw them in the wash but it was still there. I tried every kind ofstain remover you could think of but this time it left it’s mark. My shoes wereno longer untouchable. See what I didn’t know was each stain left a little ofitself behind. As long as someone didn’t look close enough, you couldn’t tellit was there. But the more stains and the more dangerous terrain my shoesencountered, the harder it was to get them clean. Once I realized they wouldnever be the same, I stopped caring about them as much. No matter what layahead, I just trekked on through it. I was careless.
One day as I was tying my shoes, the shoestring broke. I guess all thepulling, tugging, and washing, the shoestrings finally gave away and broke. SoI just got the broke ends and tied them together as a temporary fix.
Some time had past and my shoes had seen a lot……a lot of good times butmore bad times. Somehow they survived. Every morning I would put the same shoeson before going out the door. They were now frayed around the edges, a hole inmy left shoe where my pinkie toes pokes out a little, green tinted where Imowed in them (I didn’t care anymore). The shoelaces broke some more so finallyI wrapped some duct tape around my shoes to do what the shoelaces no longercould. The soles are the worst. They have been worn thin with some holes. Thetop part of my right shoes, the sole is split. I tried superglue but it wasn’tthat super. Anytime it rains or I get my shoes wet, it soaks my feet. My shoesjust don’t resist anything anymore.
I would come home with blisters worn on my feet. Everyday my feet achedto bad! I tried getting a pedicure once a week but even that couldn’t stop thedamage the shoes were doing to my feet. Eventually though, my skin got toughand my feet were no longer vulnerable to blisters and I got accustomed to thepain. I lived with it everyday so I just built up a tolerance.
Just when I thought my shoes couldn’t hurt me anymore, they hurt me in adifferent way today. I went to the store and some people laughed at me. Theylook at me and from the feet up saw a decent woman but when they really lookedand saw my shoes, they busted out laughing, pointing. You see all they couldsee was how awful my shoes looked. They couldn’t see the rest of me that lookedgood. All they cared about now was how dirty I looked with those shoes. My shoes stopped them dead in their tracks.Now they will never know the real me because all they can see is dirt.
I stormed off, more mad than ever. What did they expect me to do? I wasstuck with these shoes and unfortunately they became a part of who I was. Ifeel like I trapped with them. I have tried everything I can think of to fixthem, repair the damage they have been through but nothing has worked.
I came in the house and angrily took my shoes off and threw them acrossthe room. They bounced off the wall and my sole on my right shoe fell to thefloor. My shoes had finally had it. They belonged in the trash now. I fell downon the ground and gathered the shoes in my arms and cried. These things hadcarried me through so much.
As much as I despise these ratty things, after a while, I didn’t feelnormal without them. There is nothing more I can do to salvage my shoes thathave been literally attached to me for years. There is no way someone can fixthis much damage……. No way!!!
Jesus – Don’t be afraid, I am with you and I am the Ultimate Repairman!I’m a safe-house for the battered ones!! (Psalm 9:9)
There is no hope for these shoes! They have been nothing but a burden andjust continue to hurt me anyways!
Jesus – Haven’t you heard? I am the Creator and I don’t get tired andworn out. Are you tired and worn out? Come to me and I will give you rest. Walkwith me and work with me. Watch how I do it. I won’t lay anything heavy on youfor I have seen your paths. I will wash and anoint your feet and heal the pain.I know these shoes inside and out and I know your pain. (Is. 40:28-31, Matt.11:28-30)
If you know them inside and out then you know where I’ve been…..alot ofbeaten paths, wrong turns, filthy places…..I tried so hard to be careful! Notstep in puddles, not to get stains on them. I tried so hard but it seemed theharder I tried, the more rough the terrain. I scrubbed so much and triedeverything to others wouldn’t see what these shoes were covered in.
Jesus – Don’t worry….I will cleanse and wash them white as snow. Itdoesn’t matter how worn and damaged, storms they’ve weathered, places they’vebeen because I will replenish them. I will restore and renew the busted sole. Iwill give strength to the broken laces, the weak spots. I will filter out allthe dirt and grime, even the stuff deep down so that when others see you, theywill no longer see these stains, the holes, the tattered edges. (Romans 2:16) Iwill smooth those rough edges and put them back together stitch by stitch, putthings right. I can do what none of those industrial strength cleaners coulddo. I will make them safe and secure. (Ps. 11:7) I will breathe life into them!I will make them like new again.
Please. Take a good look God. I haven’t been able to look life in theeye. I haven’t been able to hold my head up high. My confidence has beendestroyed. I feel as if I am running an endless race. I’m so exhausted oftrying. I’ve been kicked around long enough and these feet have gotten sotangled.
Jesus – I know all about the trouble and grief but I won’t let you down.I will make those shoes stable and secure. I will shield you on all sides fromanything touching what I have washed clean. I will ground your feet, lift yourhead high and walk tall and steady. (Ps. 3:3-8). You will look in the mirrorand no longer see ugliness, brokenness, scars, wounds that seem to never heal.You will see what I see. You will see the woman you were made to be.
It seems I will be doing good for a while and then I get tripped up andit just does more damage. I can’t seem to take a step forward without takingtwo steps back. Something is always there…
Jesus - I will chart the road you take and direct your steps to a life oflove and joy. (Psalm 1:6, Prov. 16:9). My directions will get you safelythrough those rough spots. The paths I will lead you down will be paths ofrighteousness. My signposts are clear and point out the right road, showing youthe way to joy. My directions are plain and easy on the eyes (Ps. 19:7-9). Myroad stretches straight and smooth, easy on your feet. My directions areroad-tested. Everyone who runs toward me makes it. I will clear the groundunder you so you will stand firm. You shall run and not grow tired. Trust meand walk in faith.
I fall down, I stumble, but I have always kept going. But it gets harderand harder. Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easy to stay down……my feetfeel so heavy sometimes. I feel like life is after me, nipping at my heels,determined to bring me down and rip me apart.
Jesus - I will never let you down. I will never let you be pushed pastyour limit. Even in the storms, don’t be afraid for I will be with you alwaysand comfort you (Ps. 23:1-6). Stay on mytrail and put one foot in front of the other. Don’t give up. I am your refuge,the bedrock under your feet.
I will put these shoes back together and you will be light on your feet.
A friend asked me one day, “Wouldn’t it have been easier to just have goneand bought a new pair of shoes and thrown those away?” I told her no becauseeverytime I wore those shoes it reminded me of the roads I have traveled, thecondition the shoes used to be in and I found comfort and peace knowing that Inever had to worry about going back there again and never worry about themfalling to pieces because the Ultimate Repairman knew them inside and out andrestored them!
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