Poetry Forum

Jean Bush - all messages by user

8/31/2018 7:42:15 PM
I dont know how to begin	Actually, men prefer making the first move. They love the chase. If you're not sure of him liking you, ask a simple question about something or ask him for help with something. His response will tell you everything you need to know. Keep us posted.
8/31/2018 7:56:36 PM
NEW TO POETRY SOUP	Just found this site a couple of days ago, love it. Very easy to navigate, commenters are very sweet. Like everyone so far.
9/1/2018 2:20:26 PM
Lengthy POems	Hi Jerry, I see no one's answered you. If you can't trim it down, put it up as Part 1 & Part 2.
9/1/2018 2:23:59 PM
Time	Interesting take on time. I love time travel, etc. I would suggest you edit the longer sentences so you keep the original rhythm. Some of them are awkwardly long. & don't forget to punctuate.
9/1/2018 2:30:18 PM
More	Wow! Great poem, very pointed, I totally agree. I would suggest you break it up into several verses, as unspaced makes it a little hard to read. The eyes get a break with double spacing. And punctuate!
9/1/2018 2:32:43 PM
Lonely in this World I Stand	This is a lovely prayer. It belongs to everyone.
9/1/2018 2:37:00 PM
Advice for how to edit this tail rhyme, thanks!!	I have to say I just don't understand what you're trying to convey. No picture forms for me when I read it. Spacing seems weird. "Never at night" should be "not at night" so the rhythm remains the same.
9/1/2018 2:40:41 PM
Prose - Looking for Constructive Criticism Only!	Such possibilities for this poem! I don't understand his question. If he's getting love from beautiful women, why is he complaining? I think you could add some to it to explain more. Very lyrical and a bit sad, do men always have to question love?
9/1/2018 2:42:45 PM
Please crit	Very sorry for your loss, I know you'll miss her forever. I agree with the previous poster. Catch your breath & re do it. It's unbearably sad yet lovely.
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