Book: Reflection on the Important Things

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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
8/24/2018 9:59:30 AM

Florence Ezekiel
Posts: 5
Time is in a haste
Men are sleeping hard to keep place
NOW - is a word that is to man, a waste
The mind wars with the thought for a space

The clock hands waves a bye
Every time man stood ready
Living becomes a lie
Each time man appears worthy

The future is wearing off
Yet men still worship beauty
On the waves of fame, some will kill to surf
Small time appears too plenty

The tick tack is on extra round
Another opportunity for man
All races don't end on all rounds
Do what the time does, ye man
edited by Florence Ezekiel on 8/24/2018
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9/1/2018 2:23:59 PM

Jean Bush
Posts: 11
Interesting take on time. I love time travel, etc. I would suggest you edit the longer sentences so you keep the original rhythm. Some of them are awkwardly long. & don't forget to punctuate.




Drink
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9/17/2018 10:30:57 AM

Florence Ezekiel
Posts: 5
Thanks so much for the correction.... Will check on that
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