Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
8/24/2018 9:59:30 AM
Florence Ezekiel Posts: 5
|
Time is in a haste Men are sleeping hard to keep place NOW - is a word that is to man, a waste The mind wars with the thought for a space
The clock hands waves a bye Every time man stood ready Living becomes a lie Each time man appears worthy
The future is wearing off Yet men still worship beauty On the waves of fame, some will kill to surf Small time appears too plenty
The tick tack is on extra round Another opportunity for man All races don't end on all rounds Do what the time does, ye man edited by Florence Ezekiel on 8/24/2018
|
• permalink
• reply with quote
|
9/1/2018 2:23:59 PM
Jean Bush Posts: 11
|
Interesting take on time. I love time travel, etc. I would suggest you edit the longer sentences so you keep the original rhythm. Some of them are awkwardly long. & don't forget to punctuate.
|
• permalink
• reply with quote
|
9/17/2018 10:30:57 AM
Florence Ezekiel Posts: 5
|
Thanks so much for the correction.... Will check on that
|
• permalink
• reply with quote
|
Powered by AspNetForum
6.6.0.0
© 2006-2010 Jitbit Software