What to Submit?
1 original, poem on the theme of The "Worst Verse in the Universe" Grand Slam
Any form is acceptable.
Welcome to the "Worst Verse in the Universe" Grand Slam, a poetry competition dedicated to celebrating the gloriously cringe-worthy, the aggressively nonsensical, and the downright painful. This contest is not for the poets laureate—it is for the poets low-rate.
The Competition Rules
To be truly "horrible," the poem must adhere to these rigid, agonizing guidelines:
The Rhyme Crime: You must use forced rhymes (e.g., rhyming "orange" with "door hinge" is too good; try rhyming it with "storage-sponge").
The Meter Nightmare: Your meter must be so inconsistent that it gives the reader a linguistic migraine. It should sound like a typewriter falling down a flight of stairs.
The Subject Matter: Your topic must be aggressively mundane or inexplicably weird (e.g., "An Ode to the Lint in My Belly Button" or "The Tragedy of a Damp Sock").
The Cringe Factor: Use at least three "poetic" words incorrectly (e.g., "The effervescent smell of my uncle’s cheese").
Example Entry: "The Monday Morning Muffin"
The muffin sat upon the plate,
It looked like a rock, it was its fate.
Oh, breakfast bread of yellow hue,
I love you more than a kangaroo.
Your crumbs are like sand in my shoe,
My heart is broken, boo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
The oven is cold, the butter is gone,
I will eat this muffin until the dawn.
You can also look at my poems: https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/the_melancholy_muse_of_the_broken_pencil_1828929
https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/the_ballad_of_the_damp_left_sock_1828928
Prizes
First Prize, Glory
Second Prize, Glory
Third Prize, Glory
Twelve Honorable Mentions
Preparing Your Entry
Submit one copy of your poem online. Format your poem. Please make your entry easy to read — no illustrations or fancy fonts.
English Language
Poems should be in English. Poems translated from other languages are not eligible, unless you wrote both the original poem and the translation.
A Note to Poetry Contestants
You are welcome to enter this contest, whether or not you won a prize in one of my previous contests.