Southern Expressions....??

What's up y'all? I know i haven't been around much lately ... no big loss (I mean for you good folks of the soup...not for me!...haha...wanted to be clear on that...miss y'all), but I've got a few minutes and wanted to blog about something ... just nonsense mostly. A good friend of mine from California who works for me here, is always laughing at the expressions I use. Usually, he has no idea what I'm talking about at first, but he gets a kick out of em', so I thought I'd ask the wide range of people here ...ever heard any of these? Today I told him I wanted him busier than a one-armed monkey with two peckers, which is what brought this blog on.

--It's hotter'n a billy goat's ass in a pepper patch.
--It's hotter'n two rabbits screwin' in a wool sack.
--He's windy'sa sack fulla farts (used to describe a blowhard)
--Useless as tits on a bull
--Slicker'n pig snot on a radiator (sometimes used to describe ice...or even a crafty person)
--Wadn't nuthin' tween him an the Lord 'cept a grin (he was completely naked)
--That stink would knock buzzards off a gut wagon.
--Stop goin' round yer ass to get to yer elbow. (doing things the hard way)
--That happened faster'n a knife fight in a phone booth.
--Higher than a Georgia pine (drunk or stoned)
--Madder'n a wet hen in a tote sack
--I swalla'd down my Sun'de(Sunday) throat. (to get ckoked on something)
--I'm doin' finer'n frog's hair ( finer than frog's hair...I'm doing very well)
--Good night a'livin'!! (good grief!!)

Here's a couple my great-grandmother used to say...
--If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.
--Wake up, Caleb, yonder comes a hare with his tail ashakin'

And here's a couple of single words that Joe finds amusing...
--plumb (all the way)...like...The jar was plumb empty.
--tump (tip over and dump)...like...Tump that bucket of water over.
--Law! (Oh My!)
--Caddywompus ( sideways or crooked)

Ok, that's enough of that ...I could go on like this all day. I've got lots. Some of the above aren't as commonly used as others (not anymore, anyway) and certainly not all over the south, but some of these are pretty common where I'm from. Ever heard any...or variations? Have any funny ones to share that might be regional to you?

Please stay on topic with your comments. Off topics comments may be removed. Thanks.

Donna Jones Date: 11/7/2013 5:20:00 PM Hey Caleb...saw your name ,had to say hey....good googly moogly you made me laugh..thanks...we talk like this so much it doesnt even seem weird to me...its been raining like a cow pi..sn' on a flat rock here so I had a few minutes....take care....:-) :-) :-) Login to Reply

Tim Ryerson Date: 11/7/2013 7:24:00 AM Great blog Caleb! Yep, I'm a southern boy too and I've heard a lot but not all of them...My fav is my wife's grandma who gave her some feminine hygene advice when she was approaching puberty...'Wash everything possible, then wash possible too'... Login to Reply

Andrea Dietrich Date: 11/6/2013 4:39:00 PM hahaha, I did not know even half of them. but a few I knew. So good to see you. I've been too busy to even do blogs or comment on them until today. I had commented on an old poem of yours asking where you were just ten min. ago!! Login to Reply

Suzanne Delaney Date: 11/6/2013 12:29:00 AM These are right entertainin' In Australia we have a million and one slang phrases. In fact a whole dictionary is devoted to Australian Slang. We love to play with words Keeps us 'busier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.' SuZ Login to Reply

Jancarl Campi Date: 11/5/2013 7:24:00 AM Love them all. What about. " Dummer than a stump." " He don't know his butt from a hole in the ground." "He is the type of person only a mother could love." " As much fun as watching paint dry." There is more, but I gotta go. Take care. Login to Reply Painted Hunter Date: 11/5/2013 7:54:00 AM Ha...yep...Dummer than a box of rocks. Thanks

Carrie Richards Date: 11/4/2013 8:56:00 PM You've made every-day language much more fun!! Login to Reply Painted Hunter Date: 11/5/2013 7:53:00 AM Hi Carrie. Thanks

Charmaine Chircop Date: 11/4/2013 5:17:00 PM In maltese We have many expressions ..many of which not funny but maybe clever. Examples-Its better a bird in your hand than many in the air(means To be happy with what is yours) 2) His face and His arse are the same(usually refers for someone who is not shy of anything) 3)The bitch gives you from what she owns(meaning who does wrong..tries to imply you do that kind of wrong) 4) Think hundred times and cut one time(Don t take decisions without thinking ) There are plenty more. Your blog is very entertaining.Give us some poetry Cal..Yes : ) Login to Reply Jancarl Campi Date: 11/5/2013 1:05:00 PM Painted Hunter Date: 11/5/2013 7:51:00 AM I like those...similar to one of those is a common one here...measure twice, cut once.. Charmaine Chircop Date: 11/4/2013 5:21:00 PM Last two~ Cut the pig `s tail..He is still a pig [means some people never change. ~If you spit in the air it falls on your face(If you try to do harm to others..that harm will turn to you).

Carol Eastman Date: 11/4/2013 4:01:00 PM We say 'usless as tits on a boar hog'... and 'youse guys' (in St. Louis). Login to Reply

Just That Archaic Poet Date: 11/4/2013 3:00:00 PM LMAO I loved this, Caleb! I'm from Kentucky, so I've heard my fair share of "southernisms". I live in the Appalachians, which is about as country as you can get. Some of these I've heard and others in slight variations. Were you "tard" after a'writin' all that? (tired lol; I know you know what I meant, though.) You've got me all "farr'd" up now! (fired lol.) This was so much fun to read as a fellow southerner. Where ya from, 'zactly? Hope ta hear from ya drekly (after while; my papaw always said "drekly".) You 'xpectin' iny kumpny tanight? Ya busier than a one-legged man in an ass whoopin' contest? Better check the "awl" in yer car (oil) before you go a rippin' an' a runnin'! lol Thanks! Login to Reply Tim Ryerson Date: 11/7/2013 7:33:00 AM 'The work we done was hard, at night we'd sleep 'cause we were tard'...Loretta Lynn - 'Coal Miner's Daughter' Painted Hunter Date: 11/4/2013 3:55:00 PM And you're right ... what you wrote sounds as smooth to me as talkin' to myself...haha. Painted Hunter Date: 11/4/2013 3:49:00 PM But depending on where you are in Arkansas, accents and culture can be very different. Due to the location we have a lot of Cajun influence, Southwestern, Midwestern, and deep southern influence. Very diversified... Painted Hunter Date: 11/4/2013 3:46:00 PM Oh yea, I've spent some time in the Appalachians (turkey hunting) and there are some DEEP accents there(very charming), as well as some of the most beautiful countryside you're ever likely to see. I'm from Arkansas, near the foothills of the Ozarks...folks here have very similar accents and expressions to those in the Appalachians.