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How do I go on..........

Blog Posted by Kirstie Fontes: 8/11/2013 8:23:00 AM

        Since I was last on here my life has changed drastically. I divorced my husband of 16 years, finally seeing just how toxic that relationship was for me. I was reunited with my best friend from high school and married him. So I'm remarried already and very happy with him.
        My new husband and I were expecting our first baby this September, but this last Sunday my world collapsed. I was 33 weeks pregnant and everything seemed to be going well. All the tests and ultrasounds looked good...however my baby boy didn't make it. His heart stopped beating (and they don't know why), they induced labor and on Tuesday I delivered my stillborn son... I am devastated!!! He was beautiful and looked so healthy, I got to hold him and name him....I just don't understand....what did I do wrong?!?!

         I'm not really looking for answers...just hurting...I will forever love my son Matthew and miss the life we could have had....

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Colleen Bono

August 11, 2013 at 7:14 PM

My heart goes out to you and sending comfort. Matthew wont be far away from you ever. All the best to you, Prayers, Colleen

Poet Destroyer A

August 11, 2013 at 11:45 AM

sad to hear of your loss. I have no answer to give. my 21 year old daughter passed the same loss March 23 -13 ..... up to this day, all she does is punish herself and ask, what did she do wrong. I cry for her with her,... I am proud of her, this made her stronger. she still grieves over Baby Bale, who was a stillborn baby at 33 weeks. We will never understand. :-( I held him with non stop tears. I can not explain the feeling that day, nor will I put it behind me. It's hard to explain to friends and family, not only did I see my grandson enter this world without a breath or heartbeat. I felt everything in my daughter die that very day. :-( Matthew is a beautiful boys name...luv...linda

Carol Eastman

August 11, 2013 at 9:43 AM

He's in Gods hands... You'll see him some day again... Sorry for your loss... Some times those things just happen...

Seren Roberts

August 11, 2013 at 8:59 AM

Firstly You did nothing wrong, remember that, I am a midwife so please trust me when I say this. Secondly The hurt will never pass just get easier, Most of all you and your husband need each other more than ever, remember he lost a child as well. Your son will watch over you, always at your sides...Seren

Kabuteng P.Ink K.

August 11, 2013 at 8:39 AM

Dear Kirstie, you may not know me, but I'm familiar with your name from your blogs before--sending you some hugs and prayers for strength right now. I'm really so sorry for your loss :(, I can only imagine how devastating this is for you and your husband :(. We really don't know sometimes why tragedies happen, but yes, I think that each second that Matthew was with you, he felt your love. Draw strength from those who love you, and from God. You have an angel with you always now, and he's definitely in your hearts... my prayers & thoughts are with you & your family-- Nikko

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