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Bearing Another Fall

This morning I woke up from a deep sleep
my knees on the hardwood floor-shaking
beating chest hung over my mattress like
a chicken on a rope. Swaying bait for the demons
that lurk in my REM cycle
sweating brow perched atop clasped hands-
teetering like a high wire walker. 
Tempted to fall just to see what happens
after the collapse.
When I opened my eyes 
Realized where I was
Felt how long I must have been there- 
I felt as if I had climbed a mountain 
and fell at the precipice 
But I couldn’t see a thing. 
I just felt, pushed. 
As if there were something inside me 
trying to get me to this place. 
And didn’t care how much I’d fight. 
I tried to stand
But, I just fell backward. 
Stared at the ceiling until the paint’s texture 
began to swirl along with my thoughts
and I became dizzy enough to stand 
the thought of bearing another fall 
to my knees. 
-James Kelley 2019

Copyright © James Kelley | Year Posted 2019

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Book: Shattered Sighs