Bearing Another Fall
This morning I woke up from a deep sleep
my knees on the hardwood floor-shaking
beating chest hung over my mattress like
a chicken on a rope. Swaying bait for the demons
that lurk in my REM cycle
sweating brow perched atop clasped hands-
teetering like a high wire walker.
Tempted to fall just to see what happens
after the collapse.
When I opened my eyes
Realized where I was
Felt how long I must have been there-
I felt as if I had climbed a mountain
and fell at the precipice
But I couldn’t see a thing.
I just felt, pushed.
As if there were something inside me
trying to get me to this place.
And didn’t care how much I’d fight.
I tried to stand
But, I just fell backward.
Stared at the ceiling until the paint’s texture
began to swirl along with my thoughts
and I became dizzy enough to stand
the thought of bearing another fall
to my knees.
-James Kelley 2019
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