Bearing Another Fall

This morning I woke up from a deep sleep my knees on the hardwood floor-shaking beating chest hung over my mattress like a chicken on a rope. Swaying bait for the demons that lurk in my REM cycle sweating brow perched atop clasped hands- teetering like a high wire walker. Tempted to fall just to see what happens after the collapse. When I opened my eyes Realized where I was Felt how long I must have been there- I felt as if I had climbed a mountain and fell at the precipice But I couldn’t see a thing. I just felt, pushed. As if there were something inside me trying to get me to this place. And didn’t care how much I’d fight. I tried to stand But, I just fell backward. Stared at the ceiling until the paint’s texture began to swirl along with my thoughts and I became dizzy enough to stand the thought of bearing another fall to my knees. -James Kelley 2019