Read Poems by Shagesa Mattheeuw

  

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Do You Get Now

Sizing me up
Full of hope, a pair of brown eyes
Expectations
That I do not know I can realize

An idealist, is what you are
The ‘me’ at the end of your sight
Far off, who I am is too far
Off the ideal you see in daylight

The weight of a better man
How do I look at you?
And not do all that I can
To make your view be true

Do you get now why I look away?
When you look my way?

Underneath it, full of hope, caring gaze
Hides the promise of change 
But I am used to me and I am my ways
Commitment to else seems strange

In your eyes I see you see the best in me
But in retrospect
Even a better me I never said I would be
So don’t expect

Do you get now why I am not ready?
When you say you love me?

But I’m selfish, what a selfish being
Thinking that you should leave
And finding my words not agreeing
Wearing my heart up my sleeve

Heavy, the pressure is too heavy to hold
Push and pull, I do both never just one
Bipolar love and the pattern’s getting old
But I can never let bygones be by gone

Do you get now why I chase after you?
When you say you're through?

Cut the air tension
The weight of the faith in me you have
Wasn’t my intention
Being involved with the judge of myself

Is it good, is it bad?
Conflicting emotions
Since the day we met
Hazy, lost in notions

You, my desperation and confusion
Reflection, a mirror that shows who I’m not
You, my hope and salvation
The one that believes in the potential I got

Do you get now why I say ‘bittersweet’?
When our lips meet?

Do you get now, do you get now
Why though ‘us’ I believe is hard to allow
I find accepting my feelings easy somehow
This is the riddle of 'us', do you get now?

Copyright © Shagesa Mattheeuw | Year Posted 2017