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Shagesa Mattheeuw Poem
The empty space you left in my life
Is still unattended
The time I have on my hands
Due to your absence
I am using it to think
Drawing conclusions
As to why I am here thinking at all
What have I done?
What didn't I do?
Lack of answers brings about
A whole another set of questions
And unending thinking
This is the best way I can explain my sleepless nights
Lately the house seems bigger but also smaller
I've noticed the ceiling creeping up on me
Lower each day, leaving me feeling claustrophobic
I've adopted the habit of taking deep breaths
To avoid suffocating on having lost you
Missing you as much as I love you
Dealing with the strength of both emotions
Fighting my feelings, fighting myself
Trying to accept your course of action
Because it is what it is
It's you who walked out
And as the days pass
Sadness turns to anger
And I take it out on everything
That reminds me of you
Your pictures, your clothes, your shoes
I stopped looking after your plants
There they are, there, dying of loneliness
If you won't come back then they should die
I don't want anyone to believe I am hoping
You'll come back
I don't want to wait, so my feelings should die
Together with your plants
Starving like my heart
I'm no fool for love
Missing you will pass as I learn to think you less
The sun will shine for me tomorrow,
Can't say the same for your plants though
Copyright © Shagesa Mattheeuw | Year Posted 2017
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Shagesa Mattheeuw Poem
Cuts and bruises
Stabs and burns
Chained up and tied down
The things I want to do to you
When I see you I know I’m wrong
But I can’t help doing you bad
Still you love this love that hurts
Because you keep coming back
More pain, you want to feel the pain
And I know that you know that
Our feelings are born differently
You want to heal my deep wounds
By loving me so to speak ‘unconditionally’
Your reasons I admit to be noble
But you will still get hurt
Because that is how I know love
Twisted past of bad love and bad blood
My sweet Alice, go back to where you came from
You and I are beings from distant worlds
I’m already too deep in and so beyond saving
Road of thorns and spikes, my wounded path
Doesn’t need to be yours even if at some point they crossed
Love is love, but not all love is worth following the journey
And Alice I refuse to believe my kind of love is your destiny
But I can’t let go and I swear to chase you down if you leave
Even so you should run, run like Alice in Wonderland
Try to leave the maze of my arms
And I hope you find your way out
Give up on me, don’t give up on you
It’s not easy doing the right thing even for love
Torn between my selfishness and good intentions
Alice, my savior, my love and my addiction
I know I’ll drive your heart away but you don’t belong in Neverland
Copyright © Shagesa Mattheeuw | Year Posted 2016
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Shagesa Mattheeuw Poem
Wake up another day and yawn
Brush the fears out of your face
And with a smile brace the dawn
Welcome the light outer space
Say thank you for all those days
That weren’t so good, so great
But that were enough to chase
After and even though misstate
It all helped your growing rate
Now looking away from yesterday
There is so much that will await
You, even so you will find your way
Don’t let your resolve dissolve halfway
Don’t let your courage and strength sway
Copyright © Shagesa Mattheeuw | Year Posted 2016
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Shagesa Mattheeuw Poem
Remember the days when life
Was all we thought about ?
It slipped by being alive
Could end when death turnout ?
One more among the crowd
To admire to whole tree
When the green leaves have sprout
There’s not much to see
On a tree that’s almost empty
It’s leaves spread on the ground
In one dead leaf there’s still beauty
That if looked for can be found
The last green leaf that has turned brown
Will still be beautiful after falling down
Copyright © Shagesa Mattheeuw | Year Posted 2012
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Shagesa Mattheeuw Poem
I've understood that to understand
It's necessary to look at things from left to right
From right to left and whatever end
Even upside down if that gives you a better sight
Take a step back to see the scene under far light
Sometimes the farther away you are, the clearer you see
Rarely things are what they seem like black and white
Grey is not just a colour that clouds happen to be
Feeling blue is more grey than blue on a rainy day to me
We pour our hearts same way the rain pours down tears
Bad times, that's why I cherish good times so earnestly
I've learned more from sadness than happiness, I fear
It's weird, but I was taught the value of life by people whose dead was near
And affirmed to myself that however you look at it, it's a messed up life, oh dear my dear
Copyright © Shagesa Mattheeuw | Year Posted 2016
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Shagesa Mattheeuw Poem
The world relies on speed
Everybody is in a hurry to get things done
Until the moment two souls meet
And time stops so two halves can become one
Looking attentively in your eyes, I saw the sun
Two pair of sparkling blue pearls because of sunlight
Floating and drowning, neither the sky or the sea could have won
I found myself in the middle of the universe and it was bright
Beautiful and breath taking like a summer day might
In a matter of seconds you had pulled me in
Mysterious and addicting were these emotions under night-sight
A landscape eager to be explored was your soft skin
Not thinking rationally is what it means to be in your presence
The core of your being as a woman,yes, I lost to your essence
Copyright © Shagesa Mattheeuw | Year Posted 2016
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Shagesa Mattheeuw Poem
As we grow up we tend to mature
We tend to forget how to be a kid
We’re to concern about the future
That what we used to do and did
That who we were and will be split
Past, present and future don’t go along
The place we stand and were we sit
Lie on the ground it all went wrong
Searching for the place we all belong
Everyday is a struggle just to stay alive
If we could only go back and be young
We’d start again and lead a different life
Too young, too old, too much complains
Looking for our selves were nothing remains
Copyright © Shagesa Mattheeuw | Year Posted 2016
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Shagesa Mattheeuw Poem
The fight was beyond winning
The fall was beyond rescue
The dive was beyond swimming
Thing is, an old start needs no cue
Neither does a new end that’s not new
Time was mocking time, how?
Our time, the minutes left, only a few
While others time was on the go
Who knew what is, is actually so?
Deluded into thinking about the future
Never thought about tomorrow
Humanity can’t fight the force of nature
One too many eclipse’s for us finely permanently put night before day
Erased the clarity of light and invited the obscurity of darkness to stay
Copyright © Shagesa Mattheeuw | Year Posted 2017
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Shagesa Mattheeuw Poem
Have I satisfied the stares of people like me?
People looking for a bit of themselves in others eyes
An empty stomach is not really truly hungry
Until a lonely heart for love cries
Feelings against feelings, either kills or dies
Sometimes watching, sometimes acting the scene off
I’ve been on every side of the dice
I wonder how much rolling before it is finely enough
One side to the other side, though exposed above
I’m also hidden down
Betting all like gamblers, we have it tough
Unpredictable town
Either aces or jokers maybe trick or treat at hand
Sometimes the deck dealt to us is all an understanding person can’t
Copyright © Shagesa Mattheeuw | Year Posted 2014
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Shagesa Mattheeuw Poem
It all began on a blank, plain page
With your usual self in the middle
Making bad decisions and mistakes
Page after page, it’s a vicious circle
Repeating itself, it’s a continuous cycle
It goes on and on like a merry-go-round
You in the middle moving little by little
And your life’s going around and around
You in the middle without making a sound
Waiting for another page to be turned over
Head hanging low and facing the ground
What is waiting for you around the corner?
Scared and afraid, you want to run and run
But today your face is gazing upon the sun
Copyright © Shagesa Mattheeuw | Year Posted 2011
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