Stay
I've gotten better
Or so I thought
Cuz suddenly the words
I'm not okay
And
I want to die
Left my mouth
Which is weird
Because I thought I was better
But that's not a thing right
It doesn't get better
It only gets worse
And this is just the beginning
I dont deserve to he here
I lie
I cheat
I steal
I'm selfish
So if I do all those things
Why am I here
Why do I exist
If I'm being honest
This words is better without me in it
So why do I stay
Why do I put myself thru life
Because suicide is selfish
You think it'll only effect you
But when you die
You have to look down
And see your loved ones mourning you
Your mom and dad crying
Thinking we should have known
My sibling crying
Thinking there all alone
My grandparents crying
Thinking why did this happened
My dad crying
Because he will never get to walk be down the aisle like we always talked about
My mom crying
Because she'll think it's her fault
My grandmother crying
Yelling “mamala”
My grandfather crying and comforting my grandma
My best friend crying
Because we never got to move in together and be roommates like we always talked about
My little brother crying
Because we never got to speed in my car and blast loud music like we always talked about
Dieing isn't an option
Living is an option
I want to blast music and speed in my car with my little brother
I want to move in with my best friend and be roommates
I want my dad to walk me down the aisle
I want to be my sisters maid of honor and see her get married
I want to see my brother grow up get his first girlfriend
I want to stay with my grandparents
I want to stay with my aunt who is like my second mom
I want to stay
Want to stay
To stay
Stay
Copyright © Annie Katz | Year Posted 2024
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