Stay

I've gotten better  Or so I thought Cuz suddenly the words I'm not okay  And I want to die Left my mouth Which is weird Because I thought I was better  But that's not a thing right It doesn't get better It only gets worse And this is just the beginning  I dont deserve to he here I lie I cheat I steal I'm selfish So if I do all those things Why am I here Why do I exist If I'm being honest This words is better without me in it So why do I stay Why do I put myself thru life Because suicide is selfish  You think it'll only effect you But when you die You have to look down And see your loved ones mourning you Your mom and dad crying Thinking we should have known My sibling crying  Thinking there all alone My grandparents crying  Thinking why did this happened My dad crying  Because he will never get to walk be down the aisle like we always talked about My mom crying  Because she'll think it's her fault My grandmother crying Yelling “mamala” My grandfather crying and comforting my grandma My best friend crying Because we never got to move in together and be roommates like we always talked about My little brother crying Because we never got to speed in my car and blast loud music like we always talked about  Dieing isn't an option Living is an option  I want to blast music and speed in my car with my little brother I want to move in with my best friend and be roommates I want my dad to walk me down the aisle  I want to be my sisters maid of honor and see her get married I want to see my brother grow up get his first girlfriend  I want to stay with my grandparents I want to stay with my aunt who is like my second mom I want to stay Want to stay To stay  Stay