the deceit of a mother
9 years had passed without a trace of you in my mind
And in the 10th year, like a dormant volcano now live, you met me once again
Isn't it funny, how, you left me at my most fragile
And found me
At my
most fragile
Again.
it's as though your purpose is to destroy me, but you will never gain that power
I'm not your little barbie doll anymore
I'm not your show and tell of how fun of a mother you are anymore
I'm not your vulnerable target anymore
I'm not your daughter anymore.
No, this is a woman-to-woman affair
Give me a reason to forgive you, I might
Give me a reason to understand why, I might
Give me a reason to love you, and I will give you all the reasons
-to hate you.
Because I have spent seventeen silent, painful years detangling my life
Picking up the shards of glass you left, exploring empty caves to fill a void
I went to dark, dangerous places and when I needed a mother,
Not even the idea of you was there for me.
I could have very well ended my life, because you chose to fail me as a mother
Because if my own mother can't love me
Who will?
When I think of you, my blood seethes and I crave nothing more than to
Destroy you too, and leave, and leave without even batting an eye towards you
Just like you did to me.
Copyright © Tammy Vas | Year Posted 2024
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