the deceit of a mother

9 years had passed without a trace of you in my mind And in the 10th year, like a dormant volcano now live, you met me once again Isn't it funny, how, you left me at my most fragile And found me At my most fragile Again. it's as though your purpose is to destroy me, but you will never gain that power I'm not your little barbie doll anymore I'm not your show and tell of how fun of a mother you are anymore I'm not your vulnerable target anymore I'm not your daughter anymore. No, this is a woman-to-woman affair Give me a reason to forgive you, I might Give me a reason to understand why, I might Give me a reason to love you, and I will give you all the reasons -to hate you. Because I have spent seventeen silent, painful years detangling my life Picking up the shards of glass you left, exploring empty caves to fill a void I went to dark, dangerous places and when I needed a mother, Not even the idea of you was there for me. I could have very well ended my life, because you chose to fail me as a mother Because if my own mother can't love me Who will? When I think of you, my blood seethes and I crave nothing more than to Destroy you too, and leave, and leave without even batting an eye towards you Just like you did to me.